Chapter 355: Know Hell (02)

--This Chapter is written in Catherine’s POV--

I walked underneath the light of a dozen colorful stars.

To most vampires, their brightness would be a death sentence. To me, it was merely inconvenient.

My skin itched as blood boiled beneath it, and though I only needed one drop to survive, constantly regenerating my reserve required mana and concentration.

As always, mana posed no problems. However, today, something far more important than a small inconvenience demanded my entire attention, and still, I feared it wasn’t enough.

Catherine: "Your master asked me whether I enjoyed my current life, and though I have yet to answer... I was wondering how you felt, Queen Elizabeth."

The Demon Queen of Hell, Elizabeth, was a harbinger of death I had avoided for a lifetime.

Aside from rare exceptions, demons and monsters like her and me were forbidden to set foot in the Celestial Palace.

By every measure, such an encounter in such a place should have been impossible.

Yet fate brought us together in this manner.

Perhaps I was misinterpreting things. Perhaps there was nothing mythical, and things had progressed logically toward this outcome.

No matter what I tried to convince myself of, I had no option but to face the exquisite feeling of this surreal experience as we walked casually beside one another.

Such a haunting image that not even my nightmares dared conjure made it hard for me to speak.

Every time I courteously looked into her eyes to word a question, those bright blue mirrors reflected my soul, and the words caught in my throat.

Only after gathering all of my courage could I speak, and still, the sentences I pushed out sounded heavy with hesitation.

Even I questioned whether they carried any will, despite knowing how I struggled to get a word out. I could only hope she would not be insulted by my blemish.

Catherine: "Are you enjoying your current life?"

I asked a question I already knew the answer to.

It was discourteous and wasteful, yet the Demon Queen showed no care.

With grace I couldn’t replicate even in my years as queen, she slowed her steps and turned her head toward the man walking behind us.

The mortal excused our arrangement, saying it allowed him to focus on playing with the Thorn Queen, but no pretense could hide his true goal. Rather, such a blatant lie was meant to be seen through.

He had calculated our positions and placed himself and Nyxie behind us. Knowing my interest in the Demon Queen, he could pretend to have extended me an olive branch.

A sign of goodwill as allies-to-be.

Yet I was no fool.

I knew he stood to learn from my questions as much as I stood to discover from Elizabeth’s answers.

Everything in this exchange favored him twice, and even without knowing me well, he was already playing with my mind.

His answer to Elizabeth’s silent plea for the right to speak was a casual "Chat as you like", but also a threatening "I trust your judgment".

Elizabeth: "My king and I certainly differ in approaches when it comes to ruling, and his attitude can be bothersome... However, I’m utterly invested in his path to kingship."

Her steps were heavy. One after another, they resounded in my ears, almost as if a declaration.

I didn’t know why they made me feel so suffocated.

So bothered...

Catherine: "To the point that you’d abandon your own ambitions for his?"

Before answering, she closed her eyes, and her lips curled into a soft smile.

We had slowed our pace, but the two behind were polite enough not to close the distance.

Elizabeth: "I wouldn’t say I have abandoned my ambitions. I still believe mine and His Majesty’s vision may one day converge."

That was the same as declaring war against the Gods, in front of two Goddesses no less.

Reprehensible hardly described her words, and even insanity only came close.

I often rejected boldness of such measure as plain recklessness. Those who displayed it were best avoided, if not dealt with.

Yet, coming from her, I found it almost... admirable.

...Why?

Catherine: "So you say, but... I saw him treat you as a servant. You may say it is mere loyalty, but to me, he sees you as a toy. And you are submissive to him."

As if a cracked dam had finally given way, once the first honest words left my mouth, the rest burst through my constraints.

It wouldn’t surprise me if the Demon Queen took insult to being labelled a servant and a toy.

I shouldn’t have-

Elizabeth: "You’re not completely wrong. However, I’m His Majesty’s general, secretary, and advisor. My duties are plenty, and I take pride in fulfilling each of them to my utmost ability."

The Demon Queen’s smile was small and reserved, yet it was powerful enough to clench my heart.

In her eyes, I saw my own lips curl with dissatisfaction.

...Why?

What were these feelings...

Catherine: "I don’t understand... Isn’t he dumping all the work on you? What could you have seen in him that... That you feel like you owe him your best effort?"

Though it wasn’t close, my home wasn’t far, either.

At this pace, we would reach it before I was ready.

Elizabeth: "I saw myself."

I froze, and the two behind us stopped as well.

The smile on Queen Elizabeth’s face changed. She seemed dangerously amused, as if she’d caught her prey in a trap.

Elizabeth: "Surely an ancient being such as you, even without seeing his soul, must have felt it too? Behind his eyes lay a monster."

Admitting it was no easy task, but Elizabeth was not wrong.

My instincts screamed about him as loud as they did about her.

Elizabeth: "Right now, His Majesty fully controls that side of his, but... I want to witness it grow and mature. I wish to watch which side will devour and which will be devoured..."

I had heard plenty of rumors about Elizabeth’s thirst for challengers; her face would often twist into a unique, rarely seen expression, and her eyes would shine brighter.

The rumors never mentioned the burning red blush I noticed on her face.

Elizabeth: "Besides... I have little choice but to serve. Such was the punishment he cast on me after my defeat."

The Demon Queen... defeated?

By a mortal not even half her level?

Catherine: "I don’t believe it."

I knew she’d often recruit the most interesting opponents into her army, but even if she were unwilling to kill, that should be impossible...

Elizabeth: "I understand your awe. But it is true. After my resurrection, Miwen and I fought over control of his Kingdom and world. Thanks to my uncle, the Traveling Merchant, I lost the battle."

Caring little for my sanity, the Demon Queen spilled enough information to make my brain briefly stop working.

Though I knew the Traveling Merchant to be the sworn brother of Elizabeth’s father, I had consciously avoided connecting him to Miwen through Elizabeth.

After all, that would mean the mortal I sought to make my familiar was the same one who used the Merchant’s calling card and started the cogs of fate that inevitably led me to the center of the Gods’ eyes.

Disgusting twists of fate like these often heralded bad news; creation’s sense of humor and mine lay on different edges of the scale.

Catherine: "You’ve... changed."

Her face was the same, but her smile was not.

Her posture and the words she spoke were exactly as I remembered, yet they sounded nothing alike.

She never answered my first question.

She didn’t need to anymore.

Elizabeth: "Interesting. I have been struggling with the same thought as of late."

It was so clear, yet she hadn’t recognized it.

I had no words.

Nyxie: "How interesting. I thought you were quiet and reserved, yet you chose to live near the teleportation hub?"

After a few minutes of silence, we arrived at one of the busiest streets in the Gods’ domain.

Of course, I’d rather live away from everyone and everything, but the ability to quickly flee to another world was too enticing to pass up...

Catherine: "I’m back... Just kidding."

Nothing but silence welcomed us.

Nyxie and the others seemed surprised by how ordinary my house was. The design was the standard for every home, and I had made no changes whatsoever-

Miwen: "Oh? What’s this?"

He barged into my room, and not satisfied with what he’d seen, opened a closet.

Yami’s Doll: "Gyaaah! Cathy! I was found!"

The black-haired oni doll came running to me, hugging my knees.

I kicked it into the wall, but before I could excuse her existence...

Carmine’s Doll: "Ufufu. Careless as ever, little Catherine~"

One of the bigger porcelain dolls opened the bathroom door and showed itself in all of its hefty glory.

Even though I clearly ordered everyone to hide and avoid embarrassing me...

Elizabeth: "...You said you didn’t regret those you abandoned, yet these dolls tell a different story."

I hugged my own arm.

How could I ever explain this?

Catherine: "I... Wait. You recognize Yami?"

At a certain point, it made sense that she’d remember me.

Rumors about my true identity never died completely, and the Demon Queen wasn’t the first to grow interested in the truth about the monsters who escaped the Dungeon.

But Yami was, by all means, a common foot soldier.

Expendable to anyone but those who knew her personally.

Elizabeth’s Doll: "How many times must I tell you? I remember all who have served me."

...Underneath the bed, two dolls rose to their feet.

Elizabeth’s and Caroline’s.

My biggest dolls.

The two I couldn’t forget.

The two I wished...

I had never...

Let go...

How many times had I haunted myself with their image, thinking what life could’ve been had I followed them properly until the very end?

Catherine: "Ah..." ⅇℓ.

That’s right.

That’s why it hurt so much to see her changed; to see the joy I never knew reflected in her expression.

Elizabeth: "These dolls... They each have a different heartbeat, personality, and seem capable of operating on their own..."

She leaned closer to the doll I made in her image, and the two stared at each other’s eyes.

Catherine: "Y-Yes... I used my own heart to make them, so... Their heartbeat is stuck at the pace of my own during their creation."

They were supposed to have identical heartbeats, yet each was different, and the porcelain dolls’ were much faster than the regular ragdolls’.

This was a failure I kept repeating.

Every time, at the last step after finishing their bodies...

I’d stare at the dolls’ faces, and, remembering those they’d been modeled after, lose control of my heart just before ripping it out of my chest.

They were cursed to forever reflect my emotions.

The screams of my heart.

Elizabeth: "Your Majesty... Are we perhaps thinking the same?"

Not knowing where to hide my shame, I turned my head away from Elizabeth, only to meet his gaze...

Miwen: "Yeah. I think so."

Elizabeth and her master wore the same smile.

An expression that brought me nothing but pure, distilled fear.

Elizabeth: "You’re in luck. The deep attachment that betrayed your thick mask has seasoned you in my king’s favorite flavor..."

As dolls poured from every corner of the room, the Demon Queen giggled.

While some dolls patted my back, fussed over me, and bickered with each other over disobeying me, Elizabeth’s master leaned a hand over my shoulder.

Caroline’s doll: "Good for you, Catherine. The pieces fell into place. Your plan to kill that God will proceed smoothly."

Yes.

So why...

Why did I feel like crying?