Chapter 666: Personally Hatching the Egg

’But this egg is huge! It’s way bigger than a chicken, duck, or even a goose egg. Am I supposed to find an ostrich or an emu to hatch it?’ Shen Yibin cradled the hard-won Snake Egg, a headache already forming.

’Where am I supposed to find an animal like that? As far as I remember, the Yunzhong City Zoo doesn’t have any. Otherwise, I could’ve asked Director Dong for help and borrowed one or two to hatch the egg.’ He hadn’t even stopped to consider that since it wasn’t their egg, no ostrich or emu would be foolish enough to do him that favor.

’Sigh, looks like I’ll have to figure this out myself. What if I wrap the egg in a quilt and use a space heater or an electric blanket to keep it warm? A scientific approach to hatching? But what if something goes wrong? An accident... Wouldn’t I just end up cooking it? I wonder if Snake Eggs are tasty...’

’Damn it, my mind went straight to food again. I must’ve caught it from that glutton Hah’Er!’ Shen Yibin quickly shook his head, pushing the stray thought aside. If anything happened to this egg, the Future Pet Shop would surely make his life a living hell.

’Still, that gives me an idea. I remember that modern breeding farms—whether for chickens, ducks, geese, or any other egg-laying animal—mostly use artificial incubators to save on costs. If I could find the right person to build me a small, custom incubator, that might just solve this problem.’

’I’ll ask the Future Pet Shop first,’ he decided. Shen Yibin opened his messaging app again and started typing. "Hey, can I get a custom device to hatch this egg? And what’s the required temperature range?" ’Right,’ he thought, ’I’ll definitely need those specs to have a custom device made.’

"If a device could be used to hatch the egg, why wouldn’t one be available in the pet shop? Do you really think the devices of your era are more advanced than ours?" the Future Pet Shop replied, dripping with scorn. "All eggs from this shop must be hatched using the most primitive methods. This ensures the pet sees its hatcher the very moment it breaks free of its shell, thus preventing any psychological trauma."

’Psychological trauma? Does it have to be so dramatic!’ Shen Yibin was speechless. ’Animals often imprint on the first living thing they see after hatching, treating it as their mother. If that first thing was a cold, unfeeling machine... that really would be pretty bad.’ After his initial frustration, Shen Yibin thought about it and had to admit the Future Pet Shop had a point.

"So what do I do now?" Another path was completely blocked. Shen Yibin’s headache was getting worse. ’Can you please stop shooting down all my ideas? At least give me a solution!’

"Under normal circumstances, it would be best for the egg’s true mother to incubate it." ’Forget that,’ Shen Yibin thought. ’I’m not brave enough to go back to that rainforest and look for the giant white python. I’m not ready to die just yet.’ Perhaps sensing that Shen Yibin had no way of finding the egg’s real owner, the Future Pet Shop added, "Of course, you can use another animal as a substitute. The temperature required to hatch this egg is almost identical to a mammal’s body temperature. You could just hold it against your body and incubate it yourself!"

’This thing is pure evil. Do you have to be such a troll? You want me to just sit around all day holding this egg like a mother hen?’ Shen Yibin wanted to cry but had no tears left to shed.

’Never mind how ridiculous I’d look, I don’t even have the stamina for that!’ Shen Yibin vaguely recalled seeing a hen hatching eggs as a child back in his old country home. The mother hen would sit on her nest nearly twenty-four hours a day, warming the eggs with her body, and she had to keep it up for many days. ’How could I possibly manage that?’

’Would I just be sitting here like an idiot, holding this egg? Besides, I still have to cook for Hah’Er and Xiaoliu every day, and I have to look after the shop. Where would I find the time for this?’

"Don’t worry. Based on our estimates, this egg is very close to hatching. You just need to persist for a little while, and it will emerge soon." Perhaps guessing Shen Yibin’s thoughts and taking pity on him, the Future Pet Shop finally offered a piece of good news.

’But I have to sleep, right? I can’t possibly sleep while holding this egg, can I? I’m a restless sleeper; I toss and turn all night. What if I crush it?’

But no matter what else Shen Yibin said, the Future Pet Shop offered no response. It seemed the shop had grown tired of his whining, tossing him the method and then ignoring him completely. Shen Yibin was left alone in his room, cradling the egg, on the verge of tears.

’I can accept being Hah’Er’s personal chef, Shi Gaofei’s sparring partner, and Maphario’s seed supplier. But now I have to be a mother hen and hatch an egg? Is there any justice in this world?!’

’Maybe I could ask one of the girls from the shop to help? They’d be much better at hatching an egg than me, right?’ He immediately dismissed the thought. ’They’re here to work for me, not to do my every bizarre bidding. They’d think I was a complete psycho if I asked them that.’

’Looks like it’s really all up to me,’ he sighed. Shen Yibin glanced left and right. Seeing no one around, he carried the Snake Egg back to his bedroom. He changed into a set of clothes free of any metal parts or hard objects, tucked the egg against his stomach, and lay down, finding a position that was both comfortable for him and safe for the egg.

He prayed silently, ’Please, oh please, let this egg hatch soon and put me out of my misery!’ Then he turned on the TV and, with half-lidded eyes, began the serious task of incubation.

For the first half hour, it wasn’t so bad. The cold, hard shell pressed against his stomach kept him alert. But as time passed, the Snake Egg gradually warmed up. Instead of being a jolt to his system, it became pleasantly comfortable, and he started finding it hard to stay awake.

His eyelids began to droop, fighting to stay open. ’No, no, can’t fall asleep. I have to wake myself up.’ An idea struck him. Shen Yibin grabbed the remote and started channel surfing, soon finding the exact show he was looking for.

"You’re heartless, you’re cruel, you’re making a scene!"

"Then you’re not heartless, not cruel, not making a scene?!"

"Where am I heartless? Where am I cruel? Where am I making a scene?!"

"Where are you *not* heartless? Where are you *not* cruel? Where are you *not* making a scene?!"

"Even if I am as heartless, as cruel, and as irrational as can be, I could never be more heartless, more cruel, or more irrational than you!"

"I’ll be more heartless, more cruel, and more irrational than you! You are the most heartless, cruel, and irrational person I have ever met!"

BLECH! The lines nearly made Shen Yibin vomit. All sleepiness vanished instantly, leaving him wide awake.