Forced Marriage: Escaping Her Monster

"We're here!" Jerlina raised both of her hands as they reached the top. The terrain was a vast expanse of hills and they were at one particular spot of the peak that is frequented by the locals.

"We did it!" Jeremy stood behind her and placed a kiss on her head, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"The view is amazing, isn't it?" Jerlina said and Jeremy hummed. 

"It is…"

Standing there, Jerlina looked around. "It's not the same," she mumbled as she let out a breath. 

She remembered hiking up with her grandpa but they will end up in a different place. It was a magical place that connects to another world according to her grandpa. She remembered her grandpa asking her to cremate him and spread his ashes from above that particular peak.

After her grandfather's death, when they asked the locals here, they all told them about this one trail. Thinking that this might be the only trail that leads to the top, her father spread the ashes of her grandfather from here. But she remembered insisting to her father that this is not the place.

From then on she tried to find other trails. She tried to walk through the visible trails and they all resulted in different places. She never saw that exact peak evermore.

Well… except for that dream. 

She wasn't sure but that image she saw when she was six years old overlapped with the dream she had lately. Dream where she saw her son for the first time.

It might be her imagination and she might be remembering wrong. But she could see that the view is a lot similar to her dream.

Maybe reality got mixed up with my imagination giving me an odd dream!

The wind was heavy on the top and she closed her eyes. She still remembered the image of the boy with the green eyes who called her "Mommy."

How could that be a dream? It was so vivid.

Whether it was a dream or some hallucination her brain cooked up for coping, Jerlina was happy for it. That dream made her move on. And she believed that her son is in a better place. And one day she will see him. 

Tears rolled from her eyes as she remembered the baby she never got to hold. 

She smiled as Jeremy's hold tightening around her waist. A lot happened she ended up with him. And she wanted to stay in the land of the living with him for a long time. 

"Do you like it here?" Jeremy asked. He was standing behind her and he didn't notice her tears. 

"Are you going to build us a castle here, Milord?" Jerlina giggled wiping her tears. 

"Do you want me to?" Jeremy asked and turned her to face him. He wanted to have a look at her face.

But when he saw her reddened eyes and a little droplet of tear sticking to her lashes, his heart skipped a beat.

"Are you crying, my Luna?" he asked holding her cheeks. "Are you sad?"

My Luna!

Jerlina smiled hearing that. She loved that name now. She used to get irked by it.

"No… I just… remembered my... grandpa. That's it…" she didn't want to tell him that she was crying remembering her baby.

"Hmm…" Jeremy hugged her. "I have to bring you somewhere. Are you up for it?" he asked. 

"Where?" Jerlina asked peeking out from his embrace. 

Jeremy looked at her and shrugged pressing his lips. 

"Okay," Jerlina nodded. She wondered what surprise he is going to show her next.

Jeremy held her hand and walked through a rough terrain. There was no path but he was sure and so she trusted him. 

Through many bends, they traveled and it was slightly steep. Finally, they reached the peak of another hill nearby. More than a peak it looked like a plateau. Reaching to the top, Jerlina took a look around the view. 

"This…"

The view was exactly similar to the one she saw in her dreams or precisely the one her grandfather took her to. 

Closing her mouth with her hands, she squatted on the ground. Tears started to flow from her eyes uncontrollably and she started to shake. 

"How do you know this place?" she asked him and without expecting the answer, she walked to the cliff where she saw her son disappear the day she had her miscarriage.

  She wasn't thinking much. Her feet dragged her to the edge by themselves. The distant tall mountains, the valleys that are now covered in snow…

It was spring in my dream… Maybe, the place my son is at, will have spring for eternity. At least he won't feel cold.

Thinking about her son, she didn't even realize that she has now reached the edge of the cliff. 

"Jeryl!"

She heard the agonizing shout of Jeremy followed by a strong pull by her arm. The next moment she was in the warm embrace of Jeremy.

Jeremy's entire body was shaking. He didn't know what happened. When she cried, he thought she was happy she is back at the place that she used to come to with her grandfather. He was happy till then. 

He was relaxed as he knew she'd be careful and so when she walked away from him, he didn't mind it. But when she was walking towards the edge of the cliff, he knew something was wrong and ran to her. He was glad that he could catch her at the last moment.

In his embrace, Jerlina started to sob once more. Jeremy didn't know if he should let her cry it out or ask her what is wrong. Since he wasn't sure, he decided to be silent and hugged her close as he patted her back.

But she was still sobbing and he couldn't bear it. 

"Jerlina, tell me what makes you sad…" he asked gently rubbing the back of her head.

"He's gone, Joel…He's gone…He's never going to return to me…" 

That's all she said and started to sob once more. 

Jeremy felt like his soul got pulled out from his body. She was not detailed. But he knew who the 'he' she mentions it. 

That little baby that has gone forever!

He didn't know what to tell her and he hugged her and stayed silent. What could he tell her? How could he calm a woman who is grieving for her child?

He didn't know she is still in this much pain. With her smiling and being silly all the time, and talking about their children, he thought she was over it. But he is wrong. 

He wondered if she is still hiding somewhere and crying without his knowledge. All the while he was thinking that she is fine, what if she was secretly crying?

Why can't she share her pain with me?

"Jeryl…" he called her as she was still sobbing. "I… " he still couldn't find words to say to her. 

"Cry all you want, honeybuns," he kissed her head as he reached a decision. 

This is how he can be of support to her now.

"I'm here… And I love you…"