Forced Marriage: Escaping Her Monster

"Did I do something wrong, Joel?" Jerlina held his shirt as she staggered a bit. 

Jeremy held her arms and helped her balance. He didn't know if she was still drunk or she feels weak. 

But with her wet clothes and hair sticking to her face, she looked like a frail little puppy that is shivering in the cold.

"Is that why the first thing you wanted to say was about you wanting to break up?" Jeremy hugged her close as he could see her choking up.

"I'm sorry..." he held her although she tried to struggle out. "I am sorry for hurting you like this..."

"Joel... You cannot get wet... Let go..." Jerlina carefully pushed his arm away. 

Jeremy's eyes clouded. 

Is she still trying to care for me? What can I do with her? 

Why did I even say what I did? I broke her!

"I am sorry, Jeryl... I didn't mean to say that. I don't want to break up with you. I never will want to. And you see..." he held her cheek. "We are married. We cannot break up just like that. There will be a lot of procedures involved and..." Jeremy stopped. 

He could understand what he is speaking now cannot be considered as affirmation. It seems more like he is saying that he is lazy to go through all the legal procedures and would rather stay married to her.

Why do I get awfully stupid around her at the wrong moments?

He wanted to bash his head. He sensed something warm on his hands and figured that she is crying. Except for her cheeks, and the tip of her nose that was red, she was pale everywhere else. Her lips were pink and glistening and her eyes looked puffy.

"You said we can annul our marriage easily... will you do that?" Jerlina asked. 

She couldn't think very clearly but she didn't find his answer very believable.

Back with Gerard, she was the one who brought up the breakup. Everything seemed fine at first; at least in a superficial sense, except for the external factors. She insisted Emma has some agenda. He refused. She tried to believe him, but she couldn't.

She tried to bury that feeling and didn't bring that up again.

Days passed. She saw how Gerard is tired after returning from work each day and how the distance between them gradually decreasing. The times they got intimate took a nosedive and at one point all they ever discussed was about Emma.

She knew then... she knew their relationship won't survive and that something is not right. 

And that was why she brought up the breakup. It was not easy to bring it up. It ripped her apart and it shocked Gerard. But she knew she needed to do it so that she can set the man she loved free. 

Yes, she loved him. And it was hard to bring it up but she did it after careful thinking.

Gerard adamantly refused. They tried. They tried to turn everything around, but she knew in her heart that it is not going well. 

And that was why when he sent that text, she could accept it.  She knew this would be the result. She wanted to think her baby might be the glue to set them back together but everything took a turn from then on.

Now, she does not regret it. It was for the best they broke up when they did. 

And... Joel...

He brought up the breakup first. She thought everything was good between them. They just started anyway. She thought they need to learn a lot about each other and they have a long way to go together. She thought he loved her with all his heart. 

She would never doubt his love.

And she too was willing to give her everything for this relationship to work. She was being herself and she learned a lot of new things about her but she never got the feeling that Joel is not liking a certain part of her. 

She felt fulfilled in the relationship and she even had a lot of plans. Plans involving kids and a future together.

But for him to bring up the breakup... 

He must feel that there is something wrong between us, right?

When he keeps on saying that he didn't mean what he said, she found it unacceptable.

It's breaking up! How would he bring it up without thinking twice? He is not such a person!

He is hiding something.

Right now, she could feel it once more... that something is not right between them. 

Back then, she could gather herself to bring up the breakup, as she thought that would be the better output. 

But now, she didn't want to give up on her relationship with Joel. She might have known him only for a short time, but she could say without betraying her heart that she's the happiest these past few months. She is not willing to give up on that without a fight.

But when he keeps on insisting that he didn't mean that... It made her sad. 

"I am sorry, Jeryl..." Jeremy held her cheeks. 

He wanted to hug her but he could see that it makes her sad to see him wet and so he decided to make it clear. 

"I am sorry I said something stupid. I did talk about annulment, but that was before... You wanted to leave me then too, right? Remember, I said I will start to court you on our wedding night? That was the day I decided that I won't give you up ever."

"But..." Jerlina sighed. "You said it... You asked me to find someone better-" her throat choked and she started to sob. "If you still like me, how can you say that I can find someone else?"

He didn't finish his sentence but she knew that was what he was going to say and that's what made her so mad.

"I'm sorry, Jerlina..." Jeremy sighed. 

Unlimited tears started to fall from her eyes and he couldn't bear to watch it. And he was about to say that although he won't be able to see her with another man.

I did go too far!

"I am so so sorry..."

"No!" Jerlina shouted. 

Her voice came out from her stomach along with a repressed sob and Jeremy felt his heart twitching in pain.

"I don't need your apology, Joel... I don't..." she covered her mouth with her hands and bowed. She looked like she was in pain. 

"I want to know what's in your heart... I can't..." she squatted on the floor. "Those words wouldn't have just slipped out of your mouth.... Why can't you... I really cannot bear it if you..."

"Get up!" Jeremy held her arm. 

There she is... sitting on the floor once more...

He really couldn't bear it when she does that. And he still couldn't understand what she means.

He got mad seeing her like that for a slip of his tongue.

Overreacting much? Or is she not trusting me? I am not going to leave her as that a**hole did! 

"Get up, or I will carry you. My stitches will tear and I will have to go into surgery-"

She didn't let him finish his sentence and stood up. She still couldn't control her tears but she walked to the front. 

Jeremy's lips curved up seeing her walking in a faster pace showing her anger.

"Get to the room and change your clothes first. We can talk after that," he tried to be gentle.

Is it time for her monthlies already? Is that why she gets worked up easily?

What a cutie!

Jerlina, on the other hand, was sorrowful. She tried to talk to him but he is not willing to talk to her. 

Maybe it is nothing..?

Am I overreacting..?

But he brought up breaking up and talked about me finding someone else...

"See... you're all wet..." Jeremy walked closer and touched her hair. She shook her head with a scoff.

"Don't touch me!" she furrowed her brows.

Jeremy, with a chuckle, closed their room door.

"So... let's talk," Jerlina looked at him. She wanted to clear whatever that is wrong between them sooner.

"Let's get you dry first..." he grabbed her arm. His fingers reached to her back and he tried to undress her.

It was his dream to undress her one day!

"Let go!" She gritted her teeth and tried to get out of his hold.

"But...honey," he leaned and nibbled on her earlobe. "I love to see you wet... but not like this..." he kissed her cheek.

"You..." Jerlina gritted her teeth. 

She is talking about something serious, but all he could think about is this?

"I'm just saying..." Seeing her glare, Jeremy said with his hands raised like he was surrendering. "I don't want you to get cold," he shrugged.

He couldn't control his smile. His wife looked so adorable. 

"I am not some fragile flower who'd get sick by getting wet in the rain, Joel," Jerlina's voice went deep as she got mad at him. "It's not a joking matter, Joel! What made you say what you did?" she asked.

"Are you f*cking crazy, Jerlina?" Jeremy didn't like Jerlina bringing that up again and again and got mad. "I said it was a slip of my tongue and how long are you going to hold on to it?"

"Oh?" Jerlina gulped and looked at him.