Chapter 194 - Feeling Guilty
Jeremy looked at Jerlina sitting by his side fiddling with her hands the whole time. She was silent and in deep contemplation. She seemed to be in pain. He didn't know if it is just mental pain or her body is hurt too.
"Jerlina," he tried to touch her hand, to ask her if she needs to see a doctor.
He didn't know what happened there and how far that motherf*cker went with her. Judging by the distress she's in, he feared she is hurt.
If that's the case, then I'd make sure he will have no use for those dangling bits between his legs forever!
But the moment his hand came in contact with her skin, she flinched making him anguished.
"Ah..." Jerlina came out of her thoughts. "I'm sorry," she looked at him. "I was thinking..."
Jeremy stopped the car at the side of the road seeing her eyes water.
"What is it?" he tried to hold her cheek but paused fearing he might frighten her.
Jerlina could see he's being careful with her and she felt no need for that. He is the one who saved her today. Why would she be scared of him?
"Joel..." Jerlina leaned closer to him and placed her cheek in his hand. "I am not scared of you, alright?" she closed her eyes and she could feel his rough thumb gently caressing her cheek.
Jeremy was relieved she said it.
"Are you hurt? Should we see a doctor?" he asked running his fingers through her hair.
"No," Jerlina shook her head. "I'll be fine after a shower." She looked at him.
He seemed to be wanting more details but she didn't want to think about that incident now. Gerard seemed to be out of his mind. He probably is having a late realization that she had gotten over him.
But I didn't think he's the kind of guy who'd turn violent like this.
Thinking of Gerard made her remember Emma and how easily she tried to turn it on her when it was Gerard's fault.
Eww! Nasty people. I have to stay away from them in the future.
She just wanted to wash off the filth and change into something comfortable.
"Okay..." Jeremy nodded and started the car.
He was a little displeased she is not talking about it to him, but he could understand why she doesn't want to.
When he woke up with that woman on top of him, he could easily push her off of him, but still, he couldn't help but feel ashamed of himself. This petite woman couldn't handle him and she probably is feeling guilty about it.
Getting taken without consent is not a very nice feeling and you wouldn't want to talk about it with everyone.
But she might talk about it later.
Come to think of it... Didn't I try the same thing with her?
Ugh! If that guy deserves to be called all the names in the book, shouldn't I be too?
Wait... Is that why she is reluctant to talk to me about it?
No, she said she is not scared of me... Let's not overthink.
They reached home and Jerlina came straight to her bathroom and took a long shower. There were so many scratches that stang as warm water touched them, but she cleaned every inch of her body thoroughly with soap.
When she saw the hickeys in her neck, it reminded her of the beastly way Gerard acted with her and it made her skin crawl. At first, she wanted to peel her skin off, but then she took in a deep breath. If she hurts herself it would only affect her.
I should love myself!
-----
Jeremy waited outside her bathroom for her to come out but even after an hour, she didn't get out. The shower was still running and he could hear movements inside but he felt anxious as she didn't come out.
He wanted to get in but he wondered if the recent incident reminded her of his past behavior and he was guilty to face her.
Should I ask Scar to come and check on her? Wouldn't Jerlina be more relieved having a woman by her side than me?
He almost dialed Scarlett, but then he stopped himself.
I cannot be talking about this to everyone. It should be Jerlina's decision if she wants to talk about it with others.
Ah, screw it!
He knocked on the bathroom door.
"Jerlina... Are you okay?"
Jerlina heard the knock at the door followed by Jeremy's voice. She knew she's been avoiding looking at his face, She felt guilty to look at him for some reason that she cannot find out.
He did nothing wrong...And I didn't too. Why am I hesitating to look at him?
It's not like Gerard succeeded...
Huh!
I don't even understand anything anymore.
"Yes, one minute..." she wrapped herself in a towel and opened the door and he was standing by the door.
When she saw his face filled with concern, she let out a sigh. She couldn't find any words to say to him and he seemed to be in the same state as her. Her looked a lot stressed. He hasn't even changed and it made her realize that her problem is his problem too.
That's how he's always been. And she knew he helped her get out of that situation today.
She decided to tackle the guilt she felt for some reason by talking to him.
"Sit. I'll help dry your hair," he pointed at the vanity. She nodded and sat as he tried to blow dry her hair.
Well, he tried and she cannot fault him for not knowing how to do it without pulling her hair or burning her. But he was a quick learner and he listened to her suggestions. By the end, he became perfect.
"Thank you for trusting me without even questioning me... It means a lot to me..." her eyes clouded as she spoke looking at him in the mirror.
When Emma threw that accusation so casually, she was devastated. But just like that, he made her feel better.
His hands paused and he looked confused.
"Why would I question you? It was obvious what happened there..." he said placing the blow drier on the vanity. "That scumbag-" he fisted his hands.
Only then he realized that Jerlina might have spoken about what Emma did. He was not regretting slapping her. This is not the first time she is running her mouth to change the narrative like this. Even if it is carelessness, there is a limit to everything.
But she does this deliberately.
"Emma cannot protect her husband by blaming you, Jerlina. You're not some punching bag anyone can punch around..." he carried her to bed. "I won't let that happen."
"Hmm, Emma..." she curled her lips. "But even then, if you weren't there today..." her throat closed as she imagined that situation.