Chapter 147 - Reason To Stay
Jerlina is not the kind to act impolite even with her enemies. She's been that way all her life and she has no intention of changing herself now, but she was surprised he is saying this to her now.
"Even to your sister?" she asked.
"Yes, even to Emma." He nodded.
He was serious with no playfulness in his eyes and Jerlina bit her lips.
"What changed? Just days before you were shouting at me not to speak a single word about Emma," she asked.
"There is a reason," he held her hand. "That's what I am going to talk about to Emma now. And I want you there."
Jerlina bowed her head. He probably investigated and found out something about Emma.
As much as she hated Emma, she didn't want to be watching her when she is confronted by her brother about the truth. Getting humiliated in front of your perceived enemy is one of the worse feelings and she wanted to spare Emma of that.
For that, and Jerlina feared retaliation.
Jeremy might be acting against Emma to make sure she's not lost. Out of his love for his sister, he'll try his best to intervene. But Emma won't take it that way and will take it as a slight against her. All her anger will turn towards her.
And she'll try to turn Jeremy against her.
Emma is his sister. They are connected by blood. His relationship with Emma won't change. But he may fall out of love with her.
And she'll be left without support.
Emma is vindictive.
After she refuses to accept Jeremy's love and leaves, she'd be without protection and Emma will give her troubles. What if he joined her too?
"I don't want to be there... She won't feel good with me there. You can talk-"
"Jerlina, do you not trust me?" he asked and he looked hurt.
"It's not that, Joel... " Jerlina's throat closed. "Not entirely, no ... You're Emma's brother." She saw his face filled with disappointment.
But that is what she feels.
"She's your sister and if you talk to her, she'll take it differently. My presence won't make her comfortable. She'll retaliate. It... I don't want to create trouble just for a momentary vindictive feeling and... I am not a combative person. I just want to live peacefully and harmoniously without having to look over my shoulders," Jerlina was honest.
She is not in any way an open book. She hides her true feelings almost always. But his gaze strips her naked and makes her bare open her heart.
It's annoying... He's annoying. He makes her feel relaxed at one moment and at edge at another moment.
She really couldn't understand the way she acts around him at all. She didn't trust him entirely, but she didn't trust herself more.
What should I do?
"You..." his eyes clouded and he cupped her cheeks.
Her words... she hurt him by saying that she doesn't trust him entirely, but then she speaks these words.
He feared that after getting to know her after ten years of unrequited feelings, he might fall out of love, getting to know some deepest ugly part of her she hides well. But every time she reveals her heart, he falls for her more.
What should I do? I'm scared I'd go crazy with my love for you!
All her life she's under the impression that if she keeps her head down and minds her own business, she'll survive. That worked to an extent. But that can't be true anymore.
Powerful people are wanting her dead! And as much as he loved Emma, she too is her enemy.
Isn't Emma already on a vindictive streak against you? Just by staying silent and just by dodging her attacks, you think you'd be left alone? Will you ever learn to fight back?
"What should I do with you, my sweet Luna..." he pressed his forehead on hers. "I fear for you when you're like this... People are... You'll be bulldozed by others if you're this naive. You can't survive by being nice. Ah! You're making me want to merge with you so that I can protect you for life," he took in a deep breath.
"What will you do? How will you survive alone? When there are many dangers around you..." still cupping her cheeks, he pushed her back gently and looked into her eyes as he bent to her eye level.
"It's irresponsible! It's suicide!" his voice turned stern like a coach advising his team before a match.
"...I understand," Jerlina did get his point.
He said he'd protect her, but she needs to be a little more proactive. She has to stand up for herself more if she wants to protect her company.
"I know you can. You have it in you. You stood up for that salesgirl... Hell, you even did it for me! Charging towards the thugs with the Jeep... even today you ran to me to give me a piece of your mind. If you can for others, you can do it for yourself too! You stood up against Gina, Gerard and you can! You are more valuable than anyone else. You are more important than anyone... "
Jeremy went on and Jerlina couldn't control her tears. Here she is, making rules for him while staying in his house. And there he is... not even trying to put a single foot inside her room just because she said he can't.
And what is he saying? Why?
How is he saying the words no one ever told me before? Why is he the one who is the first to make me feel this way?
Important? Really?
Am I that important?
Perhaps, for him?
"Why are you crying?" he hugged her.
"Nothing," she leaned on him and wiped her eyes.
Guess, the thing about consent is thrown out of the window already! He's hugging me!
And what should I do about that?
Do I want to do anything about that?
Hmm...
"Yeah, let's go! I am starving!" she walked out and his hand naturally reached for her.
Well... his hand is warm.
Jeremy didn't know why she was crying, but he was glad she always is open with him these days.
And I will show her that she really is the most important one for me.
Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back, and reasons to stay. Isn't the Dalai Lama who said that?
That is exactly what I am going to do.
She already has wings to fly. Her company will succeed and she can fly around the world whenever she wants.
And roots to come back... Hasn't she made friends here? She even agreed to be Cia's Godmother. Her dad's grave is here. She sure has roots here.
Reasons to stay – I'll give her a reason to stay... Me!
I'll prove to her that I am worthy of her love and she will decide to stay for me.
We'll have kids together and raise them together in this house.
We sure will be a family... like our mothers once wanted!
Jeremy made plans for their distant future in his heart.