Forced Marriage: Escaping Her Monster

"My pain is better now... Joel... Let's go home..." Jerlina's throat closed out of nervousness.

No, I can't go back there anymore... This guy... he, for real, tickled my armpits and carried me like a potato sack to his car. I thought he was kidding when he said he'd tickle me... Sniff! Charlie was laughing at me the whole time. 

Now I have nowhere to go... No...

"No, wait... I have to pee... Stop the car. I'll pee in the woods... It's urgent..."

I can take my chances with the coyotes...

She grabbed his arm. With a sigh, Jeremy stopped the car at the side of the road.

Jerlina was glad he fell for her tricks and tried to open the door, but it was locked. 

"Jerlina," his voice was gentle and his big hand rubbed her back. "Look at me."

Bobby warned him that she is not very keen on going to the dentist, but he didn't know she is this terrified. She is almost having a panic attack. 

Watching her panicking like this broke his heart. But he could understand her. It is a phobia and that's how it works. But she cannot suffer in pain forever when the alternative is very simple.

"I'm fine. Just... no one forced me to go to the dentist before. Just leave me be. I'll be alright in a day or two." She pouted, holding back her tears.

"Well, I am going to force you," he spoke in a firm tone. "You cannot stay in pain forever. Look at me, please..."

Jerlina took in a deep breath. She knew she is having an irrational fear and she will get better once she is treated. He is right to insist she sees the dentist, but still...

"I don't like the smell and the sounds... You don't know what's happening around and You'll be alone... it's scary," Jerlina curled up on the seat and hugged herself as she felt chilly. 

"You'll be left alone," she repeated with a short sigh.

She was not always scared of the dentist. When she was twelve or thirteen, her dad brought her to the dentist promising to take her to an ice cream shop after the procedure. But before she was called in, he received a phone call. He left, promising her that he'd be back before she goes in. 

Well, he didn't come back for a long time. 

She had a root canal procedure and even after her procedure was completed her dad didn't come back. He came back just before the dentist closed his office. She sat in the waiting area all scared, listening to mothers and fathers comforting their crying children until he returned. 

He forgot her ice cream too.

Jerlina doesn't want to think of her past and she didn't know why these days the memories she locked in her brain are oozing out, bringing her pain.

Is it because Thanksgiving day is right around the corner?

When her dad was alive, Thanksgiving was one of the few days she'd be fed properly. So she loved Thanksgiving. And after his death, she had spent every thanksgiving alone. She didn't want to return to her "family" because they just wanted her to spend money. And Gerard would go to his parent's home because they didn't like her.

Well, this year... She didn't know. She had no expectations. She doesn't have a lot to be thankful for anyway.

Left alone...

Jeremy felt his heart twinge hearing her say that. In those words, a load of pain is hidden, he could feel. 

Jerlina flinched as his arms wrapped around her shoulders. "What-" 

"Jerlina, you won't be alone. I will hold your hand throughout. So..."

She could feel his warm breath on the nook of her neck and his hair tickled her ear as he placed a kiss on her cheek. 

She was moved by his words and her eyes clouded. But... 

He's no different...  just like my dad, just like Gerard... he too will leave me.

There will always be that phone call... There will always be work that will keep him from getting to her but not from his parents... There will be always Emma... There will be always something.

I am not that important to them. And I am not for him too. I am not that worthy. 

"You don't have to say this all, Joel," she loosened his arms from around her. "I know I should see the dentist so I won't struggle anymore."

"I mean it, Jerlina."

"Okay, fine," she gave a smile baring her teeth.

What good are words? Only actions are worth something.

Jeremy turned to the front with a sigh. Maybe it's because of the pain she is very irritated.

Jerlina closed her eyes. She knew he is not at fault here. He did a lot for her. 

They reached the clinic and Bobby's truck pulled just then. A man was dragged into the clinic and waiting in the parking lot, she watched as the lights were switched on. 

"Let's wait till he sets up..."

As Jeremy was speaking, his phone rang and Jerlina knew it was the ringtone for Emma. Only after becoming his secretary, she came to know of the different ringtones he has for different groups in his contacts. 

Emma - priority 1!

"I'll wait inside with Bobby," She smiled. 

She wasn't going to wait for him to say that Emma has an emergency and she needs him. And it is not wrong of him to help his sister. So she is not going to stop him from leaving.

"Emma?" he answered the call.

Jerlina turned to unlock the door but her hand was grabbed.

"What now..?" he answered Emma while gesturing Jerlina to wait.

"I'll speak to him."

"..."

Jerlina couldn't bother to listen to what Emma was speaking. She was saying a lot in her usual whiny tone. Jerlina for fun imagined Emma's words.

Look, brother... I am the most pitiful and most suffering human in this whole wide world... My pretty nail I manicured yesterday in the most expensive nail salon broke... Ask the nail artist to fix it...NOW!!! 

Oh, brother! Woe is me! Why am I the most unfortunate...

FIX IT! NOW!!

"I'm busy now. I cannot come there."

"..."

"Tomorrow."

"..."

Jerlina was surprised that Jeremy's voice was getting a little harsher.

"I cannot come there now."

"..."

"Emma... Why?"

By their interaction, it seemed like Emma really needed him.

'You should go to your sister'  Jerlina gestured. 

She saw his face softening a bit.

Jerlina smiled. Her smile originated from her heart without any ill-feeling.

Yeah, that's right, Joel! Be relieved.

I am not going to fight for your's or anyone's attention. 

I'll be fine the way I am. 

Be with whoever you want to be with. I won't mind and I certainly won't fight with you for it.

You are not obligated to be with me.

I'll be fine...

This won't be the first time I would be left alone anyway.

Jerlina really didn't feel bad. She can handle anything alone if she needs to.