Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 162 – Florida Man Sued Doctor for Prescribing Antibiotics Instead of Heroin

Every participant’s tournament bracket and opponents were decided. Yan Xiang then waved his hand. Then, four additional arena stages were elevated from the ground.

Yan Xiang then reminded everybody of the purpose of this tournament.

“Remember, this tournament exists for the disciples and juniors to spar and gain experience. Purposely crippling or severely injuring your opponents is strictly forbidden. Accidents may happen, but you should not fight to kill your opponent no matter what!”

The spectators had a complicated expressions on their faces. It was obvious that Yan Xiang said this to restrain Leo’s overpowered immortals from abusing their power.

Leo scoffed, “Likewise. I hope there won’t be any more dirty tricks. Otherwise…”

“…”

Intimidated, Yan Xiang’s hands trembled. Still, he didn’t give up on his plan.

Unbeknownst to Leo, when Yan Xiang created the platforms, he inserted some talismans underneath. Those talismans would activate whenever Yan Xiang wanted to, and their effects varied, depending on the chosen talisman.

The emperor continued explaining to hide his anxiousness.

“The match is decided when a fighter gives up, falls off the stage, or is unable to continue fighting. As we said before, killing your opponent is strictly forbidden. If someone kills their opponent, the murderer will be instantly disqualified and arrested for murder! No exception!”

Leo snorted as he didn’t plan on killing anybody yet. He looked at his juniors and warned them, “Don’t kill. Leave them alive.”

Esen pouted, “Why should we? They’re playing dirty.”

“We can get them later. We can play by their rules for the time being. If they break the rules first, we unalive them.”

“Fair enough.”

Yan Xiang didn’t waste time. He called the contestants to the stages before Leo could find fault with him.

“Participant number one and two of all brackets, you may step on the stage!”

Everybody stepped down from the main stage while the fighters looked confused at first. But when they found their tournament stage, they leaped to their arena.

Marc got on the first arena’s stage while Esen jumped on the arena number five. As for the others, they observed their opponents and cheered for their allies.

Marc’s opponent was a soul transformation cultivator. He was 6’2 tall, and his muscle was a lot bulkier. Moreover, he grew a full beard. No matter how everybody looked at him, he didn’t look like someone under 20 years old.

“First match! Marc Dullahan of Florida Domain versus He Man from Mount He Sect!” The referee announced the name of the contestants and gave the signal, “FIGHT!”

The muscular cultivator bellowed and summoned two dao avatars. One was an elderly man with bodybuilder-like muscles while the other was a bald barbarian with two great axes. The bodybuilder avatar merged with He Man while the ax wielder avatar manifested its physical body.

Marc ignored the dao avatars. He slowly pulled the bastard sword from his back and dropped it to the floor. He adjusted his blindfold while he strolled toward his opponent.

He Man seized the opportunity. He transformed all his muscles into steel and threw a punch at the boy. At the same time, the giant ax wielder avatar swung its battleaxe, aiming at Marc’s head.

As if Marc used Situ Nantian’s footwork technique, he vanished and reappeared on the right side of He Man. Moreover, the bastard sword that Marc had left on the floor teleported to his hand.

WHOOSH!

Marc gently swung the bastard sword, but it stopped one centimeter away from He Man’s neck.

The muscle man sweated profusely. He couldn’t see the swing. By the time the sword stopped, it was already at his neck.

“This is my defeat. I lose.”

The referee was also astonished. He stuttered, “W-W-Winner, Marc Dullahan of Florida Domain!”

Marc widely smiled and pulled his bastard sword back. He took a step back and saluted to He Man, “Good fight, sir.”

“…Y-You too. G-Good fight.”

The innocent smile and Marc’s humility stunned He Man. For a moment, he forgot that Marc was an immortal who cheated his age. Had someone told him that Marc was really a boy, he would have believed them.

Because of the innocent look, He Man was ashamed of his action. He inwardly cursed his sect master for colluding with Yan Xiang. He lowered his head and stepped down from the platform.

When He Man returned to the other colleagues of the same sect, nobody blamed him for his defeat. On the other hand, they congratulated him.

“Good job coming back alive. That was close.”

“Surviving an immortal’s strike is already an achievement. Don’t be disappointed.”

He Man slightly nodded. Still, he couldn’t get rid of the guilt in his heart. He gazed at Marc, wondering if he was really a 12-year-old boy.

“Hey, do you think the boy is really 12?” He Man asked his colleagues.

“Of course not! He must have drunk tea of rejuvenation like us.”

“…I see.”

He Man shook his head to forget the thought.

.

.

Meanwhile, on the fifth platform, Esen and Qi Niu got on the stage, and the referee signaled the start of the match.

Qi Niu gritted her teeth and pulled out her poison-coated daggers. On the other hand, Esen crossed her arms and stood still, waiting for Qi Niu to make the first move.

Unlike the boys, Qi Niu and Esen didn’t bother about courtesy or manners. They remained silent, refusing to talk first.

As Esen didn’t make the first move, Qi Niu got nervous. The latter’s legs and arms trembled.

From Qi Niu’s point of view, Esen’s smug smile had a strange vibe. She felt like her soul was being invaded. But in reality, Esen didn’t even try. She simply stared into Qi Niu’s soul, sizing up her potential and threat.

But in the end, Qi Niu’s soul was corrupted. Her future growth was mediocre at best.

“This is boring, yo.”

Esen was disappointed. She had hoped that Qi Niu would have been as talented as Gao Yan. 

“Come on, come at me, little wench. Here, I won’t defend!”

“…”

Even though Esen gave up her pride and spoke first, Qi Niu didn’t move. Instead, Qi Niu took two steps back.

As the opponent didn’t dare to move, Esen stopped playing nice. She took a step, but she instantly appeared in front of Qi Niu.

“!!!”

“Since you don’t move, it’s nom-nom time!”

It was too late for Qi Niu to react. The lich empress opened her mouth and sunk her sharp fangs into her neck.

CHOMP

Esen bit Qi Niu’s neck. Like a vampire, she started sucking her blood.

Qi Niu didn’t resist. She stood there, petrified from fear. But after Esen’s fangs entered her flesh, pleasure replaced her fear.

Esen didn’t prolong the bite. She let go of Qi Niu’s neck, and the girl collapsed to the ground. The lich empress turned to the referee and pointed at the unconscious girl.

“Result?”

The referee came back to his senses. He announced, “W-Winner, from Florida Domain!”

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.

Yan Xiang watched how Esen and Marc made a quick work of his people. He deeply sighed, unable to let go of the vexing thoughts. He still couldn’t give up his pride.

He totally forgot about why he wanted Leo dead. Revenge was no longer in the picture.

It was about his pride. He simply wished to uphold his reputation and teach Leo a lesson.

‘Just you wait, Florida Man!’

Yan Xiang crossed his arms behind his back, but his fingers moved. He secretly activated five talismans under each platform, but he suppressed its effect for the moment.

.

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Ivy and Beatrice got on their stages next. As soon as the girls came up, some neutral faction’s spectators whistled as they cheered for them.

“Go, pretty girl! Show us what you can do!”

“Hey, the weird girl with that black dress! You are fine, baby!”

Ivy and Beatrice ignored the jeers. They waited for their opponents on the stage.

The fighters from Yan Xiang’s side got up the platform. Coincidentally, they were both from the imperial court.

But before the referee allowed the fighters to start, Yan Xiang moved his fingers and activated two talismans under Ivy and Beatrice’s arena.

Although the talismans were activated, nothing seemed to change. However, Ivy and Beatrice flinched as their skin was strangely itchy and hot.

Both women had a bad feeling about the platforms. As soon as the referees started the matches, they rushed their opponents and kicked them out of the stages.

The matches were decided in five seconds. Again, the crowd was astonished.

Ivy and Beatrice didn’t wait for the referees to announce the result. They quickly got down from the stages and reported to Esen.

“Your Holiness, something is wrong with the arena,” reported Ivy.

Beatrice silently pointed at her tournament stage and pointed at her arm.

Esen and Leo were curious about what got into them. The former inspected Beatrice’s skin. Then, she understood what went wrong.

Beatrice’s skin was slightly wrinkled. Black dots appeared on her skin as if they were moles.

“Is it itchy?” Esen asked Ivy.

“Yes, Your Holiness. It feels like I’m getting older.”

“You’re getting older?”

Esen frowned and looked at the stages. However, she couldn’t detect anything strange.

Meanwhile, Leo walked toward Ivy’s stage. He leaned over and grabbed on the ledge. As soon as he touched it, he got goosebumps. His cancer cells screamed and activated their power to resist the strange effects.

Leo tilted his head in confusion for a moment. After keeping his hand on the stage for a few seconds, he noticed something.

Some of his cancer cells got slightly older. The freshly new blood cells rapidly matured.

Testing his hypothesis, Leo ejected a piece of half-eaten yin cabbage and threw it on the stage. However, nothing changed.

“Odd.”

The hypothesis was wrong. Leo was even more confused.

“It’s not the aging effect. Then, what is it?”

Leo narrowed his eyes. Then, he looked at Yan Xiang.

Yan Xiang also looked back at him. The former never hid the disdain in his eyes.

“Oh, boy. Tricks after tricks. Schemes after schemes. How come no one has taught them that absolute strength can crush any scheme and tactic?”

Leo walked back to his team and warned them about his findings. He looked at Gao Yan, who hadn’t taken the stage yet.

“That damn emperor is using another underhanded trick again. I think he has done something to the arenas.”

Esen also nodded as she managed to figure something from Ivy and Beatrice’s reactions. She voiced her opinion.

“I think it’s something related to time. Is it time ability?”

Leo glanced at the piece of cabbage. It still remained there to prove his point.

“No. It’s not time. If it’s time, it would have affected his men, too.”

“Then, what did that emperor do?”

“…I have no idea.”

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Looking at Leo’s reaction, Yan Xiang inwardly laughed. He disabled the two previously activated talismans. Then, he looked at Gao Yan’s arena next.

‘It’s too late, Florida Man. Since your people abuse the tea of rejuvenation, I will expose your lies and crush you! It doesn’t matter how strong they are. As long as the tea’s effect is canceled, you will revert to the original self! Then, your true age will be noticeable by all!’

Yan Xiang’s talismans didn’t have the time acceleration effect. Instead, they were pill toxin purification talismans, which were commonly used to remove impurities and pill toxins in a cultivator’s dantian. But in this case, Yan Xiang used them to remove the rejuvenating tea’s effects.

As the talismans only affected the people on the stages, nobody but the contestants could detect them. Moreover, Yan Xiang only needed Leo’s people to stay on the stage for ten minutes to completely neutralize the tea’s effect.

“Next match! Gao Yan from Florida Domain… Versus… Situ Dong!”

While Yan Xiang mocked Leo in his mind, it was Gao Yan’s turn to fight.

Yan Xiang threw everything to the back of his head. As Gao Yan was a legit junior, he paid extra attention to the boy.

Gao Yan was their primary target. They needed to kill him first.

The boy nervously got on the stage while his dao avatar followed after him. Yan Xiang instantly noticed Thora, but he ignored her.

Gao Yan’s opponent, Situ Dong, got on the stage. He was a soul transformation cultivator from the Situ Clan. His physical age was 16, but his physique was the same as an adult with a big belly.

Situ Dong laughed at Gao Yan’s quirky demeanor. He also glanced at Thora.

“What a sissy. You’re a man, but your dao avatar is a woman. Do you want to become a woman that badly?” Mocked Situ Dong.

Gao Yan’s expression changed. He stopped being nervous and pulled out his lightsaber. Then, he stared at Situ Dong.

“Keep my dao companion out of your mouth, sir.”

Situ Dong burst into laughter, “Dao companion?! Did you sleep with your dao avatar or something?! Hahahahaha! Hey! If you want to do a woman, you should have gone to a brothel, not bedding yourself! FUAHAHAHAHA!!”

“…”

Thora’s expression turned dark, but Gao Yan’s eyes reddened.

“FIGHT!”

Ignoring the contestants, the referee signaled the fight.

Situ Dong took the initiative. As the opponent was a lowly nascent soul cultivator, Situ Dong looked down on Gao Yan. He merged one of his dao avatars with his physical body, transforming himself into a 10-meter-tall oak tree with a thousand long humanoid arms and sharp fingers.

Not concerned about Gao Yan’s safety or life, Situ Dong threw a thousand long fists at him.