Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 151 – Florida Man Equipped School Bus with Mini-Gun and Drove It on Highway. Wild Anaconda Got Run Over and Shot to Death.

RUMBLE

The battle bus flew over the lava field, north of the store domain. Nobody, including Leo, noticed the movements on the ground.

Evolved bacteria finally adapted to their new physical form. They emerged as lava badgers.

As they were newly evolved and created, they lacked the inheritance of wild instincts. As a result, they waved their arms and legs around, playing with their new bodies. They didn’t even know how to let out a sound other than groaning.

Although they were relying on their instinct to grow and evolve, one of them strayed from the pack. It moved out of the lava pool and approached Leo’s domain to the south.

As it got closer, one of the Life Sword Sect’s disciples noticed it. He tilted his head and stared at the monster as if he had never seen it before.

“A badger? A badger monster?”

The disciple tried to sense the monster’s strength by using his Qi. However, he couldn’t measure his strength with his cultivation base.

As the disciple was not stupid enough to challenge an unknown monster head-on, he rushed to the elders in the area to report.

Meanwhile, the lava badger heard the voice of the disciple. As it was the first human word it heard, it tried to replicate the voice.

“…bA..Er?”

A few minutes later, Han Meng rushed over and found the stray monster.

“A badger? Boy, you scared us.”

Han Meng burst into laughter as he could sense its strength. It was a merely 1st-stage monster, which was weak enough for a 2nd-stage cultivator to keep it as a pet.

As it posed no harm to the local disciples, both elders poked the monster and chased it back to the north.

“Leave, badger. If you come further, we’ll cut you up and feed you to Cat. You don’t want to be eaten by a bigger monster, do you?”

“…Ba..Er?”

Han Meng paused as he noticed how the badger tried to talk. He crouched and coated his hand with his fire Qi. Then, he petted it.

“Are you trying to talk, badger?”

“…Ad..Ger?”

“Yes, badger. Try again.”

“…Bad…Er…”

“Again. Yes. You’re a badger.”

“…Bad..Ger.”

“Nice! Again. Speak after me. Bad-Ger.”

“Bad-Ger.”

“Good. A little clearer.”

“Badger!”

“Perfect!”

“Badger!”

The badger looked at Han Meng’s face. It revealed an innocent smile.

Han Meng found it cute. He wondered if he should raise it. However, he didn’t know what this monster usually ate.

“What do you usually eat? Snakes? Mushrooms?”

“Badger… nake? Room?”

As if the badger got a little smarter, it tried to learn new words. Han Meng was also patient. He sat there to be the badger’s playmate.

“New words, eh? Watch my mouth. Snake!”

“Sa-nek?”

“You’re a fast learner! Again, snake.”

“Snek?”

“Snake.”

“Snake!”

“Nice! Try again.”

“Badger! Sneak!”

“Awesome!”

Han Meng continued teaching it new words. He pointed at stuff and taught it how to pronounce the vocabulary for hours.

When the sun slowly turned dark, the badger turned around.

“Badger! It’s a mushroom! It’s a sneak!”

The badger didn’t stop trying to talk. It seemed happy as it waved its arms up and down. Then, it ran back to the lava field outside of the domain.

Han Meng gazed at the innocent monster going back home. He softly laughed as he found this encounter adorable. He then shifted his attention to the northern red field.

“Damn. What should we do with that magma pool over there?”

As Han Meng couldn’t voice his complaints to Leo, he turned around and headed back to calm the disciples. He didn’t realize that he just taught something to the badgers.

In the lava pool further north, the badger returned to its pack. It then stood on the magma and taught its friends.

“Badger. Badger. Badger. Badger!”

“???”

It waved its arms up and down innocently and smiled. The others noticed their colleague’s expression and tried to copy him.

“…A..Er?”

“Badger!”

“…Ba..Ge?”

“Badger!”

“…Bad…Ger!”

“Badger! Badger!”

“…Badger!”

“Badger! Badger!”

“Badger! Badger!”

One after another, they learned how to pronounce the first human word. Then, everybody learned more words and mimicked their teacher.

“Badger! Badger!”

“BADGER! BADGER!”

“Mushroom!”

“MUSHROOM!”

.

.

Hovering over the destroyed city was Tang Xuan, who came to investigate the emergence of sweet dream mushrooms and zombies. However, all he saw was the magma pools and destroyed the town.

No mushroom was in sight – No zombie, no survivor, nothing.

Tang Xuan gazed toward the south next.

‘Did Senior Florida Man do this? I heard the court wanted to pit the jiangshis and Florida Man in a fight, but it seems he wins. No, it’s a total obliteration.’

A faint smile appeared on Tang Xuan’s face. He was glad that Leo got rid of the troublesome parasitic mushrooms and the infected. Even though the Death Sword Sect was sacrificed, it was a good sacrifice as the Death Sword Sect belonged to the unorthodox faction.

With Fatui Cult crippled and the Death Sword Sect destroyed, the first and the third price would have a hard time recovering their forces. The Ouyang Clan and the Situ Clan would soon take advantage of this situation to expand their power in court. Then, another political infighting would take place.

Tang Xuan sensed an opportunity. He calculated his schemes.

‘The princes are out of the picture. The Pill Union and the World Tree Sect will surely send their best disciples since the threat of the princes is gone. But Florida Man’s faction will be the variable of this power struggle. If his disciples win the tournament, Yan Xiang might change his mind. But if Florida Man’s disciples somehow died, Yan Xiang and his sons will surely try to prosecute him and initiate an all-out war with their immortal backers.’

Tang Xuan still had concerns about the imperial court and the two clans’ immortals. Although Tang Xuan had already contacted his ancestors and asked them for help, he hadn’t received a reply from them yet.

He was worried for his clansmen. A war would soon break out, and immortals from the imperial court faction would soon arrive. He needed their assistance ASAP.

‘Tsk. I guess it’s do-or-die. I’ll gamble everything on him. If he loses, my clan will perish. But if he crushes Yan Xiang and his goons, my clan will survive this calamity!’

After making his decision, Tang Xuan turned around and planned to head home. 

VROOOOM

The shadow of a flying vehicle suddenly loomed. Tang Xuan looked up and found Leo’s battle bus. He was astonished.

‘A-A flying ship? That’s a weird one. I can’t even sense its aura or Qi. How does that fly?’

Secretly, Tang Xuan flew at a low altitude, following the bus in secret. He kept going until the bus reached the river north of the Dragon Mantis City.

“Huh?”

The bus ignored the rainbow bridge and kept on going, which was unusual.

The massive river, aka the Dragon River, hid the Worm Dragon “Ship Eater”. It was a 9th-stage monster that lurked in this area, and it had already eaten over a hundred flying ships and countless commoners. The rainbow bridge served as a safe passage of this area as it could repel that monster.

It was common knowledge in this area that everybody had to use this rainbow bridge to avoid the 9th-stage monster. Otherwise, they would have been eaten if they got too close to the river. Yet, the bus flew as if it ignored the threat.

BOOOM

Before Tang Xuan could shout and warn the bus driver, the dragon worm jumped out of the water and swallowed the vehicle whole!

Tang Xuan clicked his tongue as he had expected this. He shook his head.

But then, something unbelievable occurred. While the worm was about to dive back into the water, its head erupted in an explosion. Then, it spat out the bus!

“WHAT?!”

.

.

Leo’s bus flew unhindered. They crossed the former Dragon Mantis City’s territory and headed straight toward the Cauliflower City.

The crowd on the bus got to relax three hours before the battle bus reached the territory of the Jianghu Alliance. When the vehicle got closer to the city, they discovered a rainbow bridge, which Leo had seen during his first day in this world.

The Rainbow Bridge was the public highway, connecting the Death Sword Sect’s territory to the Cauliflower Province. A massive river served as a border between both zones. However, nobody was using the bridge.

Leo returned to the cockpit as he received a notification sound from the bus. He sat in the driver’s seat and saw the bridge, which was roughly 2,000 feet below their altitude.

Since there was no point using the rainbow road, Leo ignored it and kept going… until something jumped out from the river and appeared in front of the battle bus.

It was a massive leech worm. Its mouth alone was 200 feet wide, and its length was immeasurable as its tail was still underwater.

SCREECH

The worm opened its mouth, revealing countless fangs inside. Then, it curled toward the bus, trying to eat it whole.

“…”

Leo calmly and quietly flipped open three switch covers under the cockpit’s ceiling console. They had a label, written in English.

Missile 1 Safety Lock

Missile 2 Safety Lock

Gun 1 Safety Lock

After Leo opened the covers, he flipped the switches and unlocked his bus’s weaponry.

Unfortunately, the bus’s preparation time was too slow. The worm swallowed the vehicle whole and clamped its fangs.

A loud metallic noise screeched as the fangs scratched the bus’s hull and windows. However, it caused no damage to the vehicle.

BEEP

Without a warning, the bus transformed. A minigun came out from the bottom of the bus.

Three green lights appeared on top of the three lock switches. Leo nonchalantly opened the bus’s headlight and repositioned his flightstick grip. Then, he jerked it a little to aim and clenched his index finger.

WRRRRRRR

TATATATATATATATA

The bus let out a barrage of 30,000 rounds per minute, shooting the 30mm high explosive bullets into the worm’s throat.

Bullets exploded upon contact. Flame erupted and illuminated the dark mouth of the worm.

RUMBLE

The worm squirmed in pain because of the explosive rounds. It stopped trying to bite the bus and spat it out.

The bus’s interior remained the same even though the physical vehicle was back-flipping like it was in the Olympics. However, the front windows showed the rotating scene. Looking at the event, Leo felt like he was playing a realistic flight simulation game in first-person view.

Leo deeply sighed and pressed his right hand on the hand console. His left hand also pulled the stick to stabilize the bus.

A second later, the bus stopped spinning and stabilized. Its jet engine roared as it propelled the vehicle forward.

SCREECH!

The worm quickly dove back into the river while its bleeding mouth was still on fire. It left behind a large splash when its large body slammed into the water’s surface.

Aside from Leo, nobody realized that the bus was attacked. Everybody was in their room, minding their own business.

Leo glanced at the rear mirror and noticed that no one was in the lounge area. He grinned and drove the bus in peace.

He didn’t realize that someone in the area saw how the bus escaped from the worm’s mouth. The bus resumed the previous altitude and traveled further until another massive city was in sight.

In front of the city, many large wooden ships parked on the empty field. A thousand cultivators wearing flashy robes rode on flying swords, occupying the sky.

“Oh, we’re here already?”

Leo quickly disarmed the weaponry. He turned the safety switches on and resumed the control in manual mode. Then, he jerked his flightstick forward, descending the bus.

“Ahem, attention, all passengers. We have arrived at our destination, and we will be landing in a few minutes. Please gather in the lounge area and stop playing around. Also, Cat. if you can hear this, don’t eat the food in your room’s fridge. If that runs out, I won’t have any food to feed you.”

After gently speaking to the intercom, Leo deeply inhaled and searched for a runway to land.

As local flying ships always parked and took off vertically, no runway existed in this world.

“…Uh-oh.”