149 Florida Man Successfully Launches First Ever Flying Bus, Screams at Passengers Not to Parachute during Flight, “This ain’t Fortnite!”
Chapter 149 – Florida Man Successfully Launches First Ever Flying Bus, Screams at Passengers Not to Parachute during Flight, “This ain’t Fortnite!”
= Yesterday =
Leo parked his Ferrari in the empty area, west of the clothing store. He got out of the car and let out a sigh of relief. He finally mastered the driving technique, including the flight skills.
Although Leo managed to get used to the new car mechanic and handling, he still sensed a crisis. After all, he needed to bring his people to the Cauliflower tomorrow.
He needed a bigger vehicle.
Leo opened the online shopping system. He put in keywords to search for buses, coaches, and trucks.
The vehicles were cheap. As Leo had 450,000 YOL in his pocket, he could afford expensive cars and upgrades. He switched his keywords to luxurious motorhomes.
The new merchandise appeared. Leo browsed through the list and compared the prices. Then, he widely grinned.
The average price tag of luxurious motorhome buses was only 2,000 years of lifespan. Upgrading one of them to level 9 would cost Leo an extra 16,000 YOL. In short, it was affordable.
Without hesitation, Leo picked a double-deck motorhome. Then, the vehicle appeared on the plain, and the bus’s remote key manifested in Leo’s hand.
Leo grinned. He touched the double-deck bus and upgraded it to level 9. Then, he waited for the changes.
CLANK
CLANK
SCREECH
The bus screamed and screeched as the interior underwent a transformation. A minute later, the upgrades were finished.
Leo swung his remote key and opened the bus’s door. Entering the vehicle, he checked the interior.
Then, he widely grinned.
“Perfection.”
.
.
= Present =
Everybody got their toys. They were ready to travel to the Cauliflower City. However, there was one issue.
“Umm, senior,” Gao Yan scratched his head as he didn’t see any kind of transportation or vehicle. “So, how will we head there? Do we fly there ourselves? Our Qi might be depleted when we get there.”
Leo had been waiting for this question as he had prepared for this issue. He rubbed his spatial ring and summoned a new vehicle, which he had purchased and upgraded yesterday.
RUMBLE
A modern motorhome came out from Leo’s ring and landed on the road in front of the store.
“Whoa!” Gao Yan and others dropped their jaws. They had never seen this long and weird vehicle before.
Some of the disciples had been living on the third floor of the general store, and they had seen Leo’s collection on the floor below. However, this one looked weirder.
The exterior of the vehicle looked the same as double-decker buses. Its windows and glasses were tinted black, which blended with its black paint. The six tires came with the standard 11R22 (11 inches wide and 22.5 inches in height).
At a glance, it looked like a regular commercial bus with a better paint job. However, Leo smirked as he was happy with its interior and hidden features. Leo puffed his chest and raised his nose in elation.
Leo flipped his bus remote and opened the passenger door.
FWOOSH
The electric door automatically opened and extended its golden stairs to the ground. Leo walked into the bus and called the others.
“Esen, bring the kids in here. Ricardo and Taxi can come in later. As for Cat, unless you transform or shrink yourself enough, I’ll let you ride on the roof.”
Cat heard it. She pouted.
“Meow, Munya!”
As if Cat understood why Leo wanted her to shrink, she closed her eyes and concentrated.
“SMASH!”
“SMASH!”
Several unicorns nearby encouraged Cat. They raised their front hooves to cheer the plant girl.
Unfortunately, Cat failed her first attempt. Instead of shrinking, she farted.
BUUU
Her fart was deadlier than mustard gas. The crowd screamed and dispersed after the yellowish gas came out from her leaves and branches.
.
.
= An hour later =
It took Cat 17 attempts to shrink herself. In the end, she managed to transform into a humanoid form.
Cat’s new physique was 4 feet tall. She had long black hair, dark skin, green eyes, elven ears, and a slender build. Despite looking like a 10-year-old girl, her chest size was as big as a woman in her 20s.
Everything about her resembled a young dark elf, except her legs and her stomach. Instead of having two human legs, she slithered around with her four tree roots. As for her stomach, a massive mouth revealed her heinous fangs. It opened and closed vertically, which terrified everybody.
In addition, the two parasitic eyes moved to her shoulders. As for her third eye, it moved to her upper chest.
A new pretty monster girl made her appearance at long last.
Leo sized up Cat while the latter waved her arms around and played with her hair. When she noticed Leo’s weird expression, she grinned.
“Nom-Nom Meow?”
Leo rolled his eyes, “Food is in the bus. Get in if you want to test your new mouths.”
“Meow <3”
Cat giggled. She jumped toward Leo to kiss him. However, she opened the mouth in her chest, which split her body apart. Then, the fangs nibbled his head while a thousand barbed tongues licked his face.
“…”
Leo deeply grumbled as he needed to educate Cat about her weird kissing behavior. He felt like she always tasted his sweat and dead skin.
Getting enough appetizer, Cat stopped licking and sucking Leo’s head. She slithered into the bus along with Esen. Then, the crowd followed them inside.
After getting inside, Cat and others found a large interior of the bus. Similar to what happened to the general store, the usable room of the bus was a lot bigger than normal.
Measuring from the outside, the bus was 9 feet wide and 45 feet long. However, the interior was a thousand times larger than the bus’s real size. The ceiling was 10 feet high, which was a lot higher than the bus itself. This didn’t include the upper deck. As for the width and length, they were bigger than their apartment’s room.
Behind the driver’s cockpit was a living area. Sofas, chairs, a massive refrigerator, a kitchen, and a cocktail lounge were the main features of this zone.
Esen and everybody rested in the area. Like little kids, Gao Yan, Yao Qiqi, Esen, and the two girls sat on the leather couches and admired the glass chandelier on the ceiling. As for Cat, she went straight to the bar and opened the refrigerator behind it.
In the refrigerator, Leo had already stored some mutated vegetables and fresh thunder caiman meat in there. He even kept some of the yin fluid to feed Cat.
Cat immediately plundered the meat and the vegetables. She stuffed her human mouth and monster mouth in glee.
Taxi and Ricardo also transformed into their humanoid form. They put on the uniform and calmly got inside. When they saw the exterior, they flinched as well.
Xu Nuan and Tiger Swordsman also accompanied them as they were in charge of babysitting Gao Yan, Yao Qiqi, and the two girls. When they got on the bus, they had the same reaction as Taxi and Ricardo.
“Whoa.”
“Wow.”
Because of their expressions and exclamation, the other disciples and elders also peeked inside. Then, they were astonished.
Wu Buyi was the first to break the silence.
“Hahahaha! I knew it! Lord Florida Man is the master of spatial distortion arrays. Look at what he has done to his store and other structures. They all have a wider space inside!”
Hua Jiashan silently nodded. He revealed a faint smile.
“I should ask Lord Florida Man to teach us the spatial dao sometimes. A public lecture for us would be nice.”
“Isn’t it?” Han Hao agreed, “After this event, let’s hold a public lecture event for us to share our dao and insight. This will benefit the juniors, too!”
“Agreed!” Dongfang Mei widely grinned. She was also curious about Leo’s abilities and dao.
Meanwhile, Leo guided the kids to the middle section of his bus.
In the middle section, a straight corridor led to the back of the bus. Along the way, private rooms were located on both sides as if they were private rooms on first-class commercial planes. A total of 10 suites were in the middle section of the bus.
Leo slid a door open and showed the juniors their room.
Inside the room featured a master bedroom, a living room, a bathroom, and a private kitchen – All fully furnished. Each living quarter was bigger than the small house in the domain.
Esen was the first to check inside. She swept her eyes through the room and frowned. Then, she looked further into the bus and noticed that there was a large door at the end of the corridor.
Leo noticed Esen’s greedy look. He snorted.
“Pick a room you want, but you can’t take the last room at the back. That’s mine.”
Esen smirked, “You’re in charge of piloting this thing. You can’t rest anyway, so why don’t you surrender that room to me?”
“Don’t be greedy, brat. This room is already big enough for 4 people to live in! Over there at the end of the corridor, that’s my room. My belongings and clothes are already in there.”
“Who cares? Your room must be bigger than these rat holes. I’m crashing in your room!”
Esen ignored Leo’s order and ran toward the end of the corridor. She reached the back section of the bus and opened the door. Then, she found a new paradise.
Instead of calling it a ROOM, it should be called a luxurious condominium suite instead.
The ROOM featured two floors. This was the only place that allowed the passengers to access the upper deck area.
Leo’s private quarter consisted of a living room, a dining room, a private bar, a fitness center, a spa center, a chef’s kitchen, two bedrooms, and three bathrooms – All were furnished and carpeted.
The master bedroom was even more absurd. The walls, flooring, and ceiling of this room were made of transparent glass, which revealed blue water and fish on the other side!
Esen entered the master bedroom and gazed at the swimming fish in the water in shock.
“Wait a minute. Why is this room underwater?”
Confused, Esen rushed up the stairs to the upper deck. Then, she found a new world.
After climbing up the stairs, she found an Olympic-sized swimming pool on her left side and the floor, made from rocks and marbles. On the right side was an artificial beach, which featured a shallow sea. The waves and the wind were so real that Esen could smell the salt in the air.
“WHAT IN THE FREAKING CORPSE ARE THESE?! HOW THE HELL DID YOU STUFF EVERYTHING IN HERE?!”
Leo followed Esen to the upper deck. He glanced at the artificial sand and slightly kicked it.
The sand scattered everywhere. But when Leo tried to kick the sand into the lower deck, they vanished and reappeared on the beach.
Leo snickered as he was happy with the settings. At least, he wouldn’t need to clean the sand in his room.
While Leo rechecked the quality of the upper deck, Esen ran to the other side of the upper deck. She found the upper deck cockpit, which was connected to the lower deck area.
“Hey, geezer!” Shouted Esen, “Give me this freaking room!”
Leo rolled his eyes for the ninth time. He yelled back, “There are two bedrooms. Pick one and be done with it. I’ll sleep in the other room.”
“DEAL!”
Leo let out a sigh of relief. At least, he wouldn’t have to deal with this obnoxious hyperactive lich in a human’s flesh. He returned to the living quarters to check on the others.
The passengers all chose their private rooms. Strangely, Xu Nuan and Yao Qiqi stayed in the same room while the two girls from the sanctuary wished to share a room as well. Only Gao Yan, Tiger Swordsman, Cat, Taxi, and Ricardo got their own room.
Although there were 3 rooms available, Leo had no intention of bringing the others along. He kicked the non-participants out and bid them farewell.
“Take care of the domain for me. I’ll be back in a few days!”
Hua Jiashan and Dongfang Mei saluted, “We’ll protect your domain, my lord.”
Leo waved his hand and closed the shutter door. Then, he sat in the driver seat and started the bus.
RUMBLE
Despite being a bus, the engine sounded like a jet’s engine. Leo put his right hand on the hand console while the other hand fiddled with a flight stick, which was located between his legs. After checking that the flight stick worked as intended, he reached out to grab a microphone. Then, he spoke to it like a captain of a passenger plane.
“Dear, passengers. This is Battle Bus FL69’s captain, Florida Man. We will take off shortly. Please be seated, check on your seatbelts, and pack up your belongings. Also, I might call this thing “BATTLE BUS”, but you aren’t supposed to parachute randomly. This ain’t Fortnite, so glue your asses inside the bus!”
Leo’s voice echoed in every room and the lounge. The passengers widened their eyes and looked around in confusion as it sounded like Leo was close by.
WHOOSH
Leo gently taxied the bus along the road toward the west, making its way to the temporary airfield road.
After making his way to the northeast corner of the road, Leo U-turned the bus until it looked straight toward the road. Then, he warned the passengers again.
“Dear passengers. We’re taking off in a few seconds. Last chance to sit the hell down, especially you, CAT! Stop eating and sitting still for once! I can see you murdering my backup food in the lobby’s fridge from the mirror!”
In the lounge area, Cat was still on her favorite spot – in front of the public refrigerator. She already devoured 90% of the stored food.
“Nom-Nom Meow <3”