Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 141 – Florida Man Discharged Homemade Nuclear Waste Water While Taking Bath in River, Claimed the Water Came From Fukushima

The hectic day was over. Esen survived, but she still needed time to recover from the mutation process.

The disciples and elders quickly learned about Leo’s deadliest power as they witnessed it first-hand – The black lightning beam, the pure physical strength, and the poisonous touch. They finally understood why Leo usually wore rubber gloves when he needed to touch the others.

Fortunately, as no sect or organization provided better treatment than Leo’s store, they kept the secrets to themselves. No ingrate youngster or corrupted adult sold his information to the public.

Moreover, as they saw that Leo could easily destroy the orange tribulation clouds with a punch, they were grateful that they had a strong backer. Their faith in Leo rose instead of declining.

Everybody was happy…

Except…

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RUMBLE

A Texas-State-sized asteroid flew through the dark void at the speed of 50 miles per second while emitting no sound. It left behind a trail of dust, ice particles, and smoke as it moved through countless rocks and gas while the surrounding’s temperature was minus 500 Fahrenheit.

Despite the extreme temperature and the environment, two short-haired middle-aged men in glittering fancy armor stood on the asteroid, gazing toward the void.

One of them wore a full plate armor of gold and a gold crown, but they emanated a rainbow aura, similar to Leo’s radiation aura. He also wore a golden cloak with the embroidery patterns of a rain dragon. Even his tunic underneath his armor was also the same color.

This man’s name was Yan Yu. He was the previous emperor of the Yan Empire, who had ascended over 500 years ago. His face looked the same as Yan Xiang as he was the latter’s father.

Behind Yan Yu was another immortal. Unlike the flashy Yan Yu, the young man behind him wore nothing but white scholar robes and bronze court official headwear. His handsome face and skin were flawless and smooth. From an onlooker’s perspective, he seemed to be in his teens. However, his real age was in the four digits.

He was the ancestor of the Situ Clan, and he was also the father of Situ Nantian. His name was Situ Kang.

Surrounding the scholar and the former emperor was a thin layer of blue dome, protecting them from random debris, radiation, and gas in space.

While admiring the scenery, Situ Kang sneaked glances at his colleague. He slightly sighed.

“What?” Yan Yu sensed Situ Kang’s irritated breathing. He snorted.

“Just sighing. Our descendants are really incompetent.”

“I suppose so. Anyway, how are your clan and your son? Did they call you too?”

“Well, yeah. My son will be bedridden for a century at the very least. As for the clan, they lost so many good men in the last mystic realm season.”

“What was the realm they went to? A demon realm?”

“I heard it was the same realm as your dead grandson went. Nantian said he was probably the rumored guy.”

“Florida Man?”

“Yes. That one. Your son and Nantian went to the same mystic realm. Chances are, he’s the culprit.”

“Haven’t Nantian mastered the ghost steps? His speed is unparalleled among the mortals. Unless the opponent is an immortal, he shouldn’t have been caught easily.”

“That’s why I’m tagging along with you. If Florida Man is really an immortal in disguise, I can either report this to the Heavenly Court or kill him directly. You know, immortals these days are losers. They can’t compete with the older generations for resources, so they often return to their home planet to abuse their new power. We got that a lot during the past 300 years. Florida Man might be one of them.”

“…”

Yan Yu nodded as Situ Kang’s words made sense. He resumed gazing at the stars and stopped talking.

Situ Kang also didn’t bother extending the conversation. He closed his eyes and circulated his soul energy, which was exclusive to immortals.

As Situ Kang began circulating his soul Qi, his aura changed. A thick layer of rainbow aura manifested around him, and the asteroid under his feet got blacker. A few seconds later, a small black sprout emerged from the dense rock.

Situ Kang opened his eyes and sat on the ground. He gently stroked the sprout. As soon as he touched it, the sprout rapidly grew into a matured blade of immortal grass and bloomed a black flower.

When the immortal flowers bloomed, the surface of the asteroid softened, and a thousand immortal grasses emerged.

While Situ Kang slowly grew immortal grasses on the asteroid, Yan Yu frowned.

“Stop that. You’re going to destroy our ride before we reach that star.”

Situ Kang shrugged, “It’s going to be destroyed anyway. Why don’t I grow some immortal grasses while we’re here so that we can give them to our descendants?”

“…”

Yan Yu closed his mouth as he agreed with Situ Kang. He stopped checking on his colleague and continued observing the stars.

RUMBLE

As Yan Yu was about to resume his star-gazing hobby, he sensed a suppressive force of energy from a distance. He narrowed his eyes to see further into the dark void.

“A tribulation lightning bolt in the void? Is someone breaking through?” Yan Yu uttered.

Situ Kang stopped injecting his soul Qi into the asteroid. He stood next to Yan Yu to look into the dark. Then, he recognized the pattern of energy.

“Err… Isn’t that the heaven tribulation, the immortal-killing lightning bolt?”

“Red tribulation?” Yan Yu frowned as there were two types of heavenly tribulation lightning bolts that he feared.

The first was the red tribulation lightning. As for the other, it was the strongest type – The black one. Both colors were dreaded as the bane of all immortals as nobody could survive a single hit from them, except those who had the aptitude to become a deity.

ZAAAAAPPP

Before both men could analyze what it was, the overwhelming tribulation lightning bolt was already in front of them. Its trajectory coincided with the asteroid’s flight path!

“DODGE!”

Situ Kang and Yan Yu leaped away from the asteroid. A split second later, the incoming black laser beam devoured the space rock, disintegrating it to smoke!

Yan Yu and Situ Kang gazed at the massive laser beam, which traveled through the void like an endless tunnel of death. It erased everything in its path and continued going further without slowing down.

They were stunned. The former emperor’s expression was distorted in fear and shock while Situ Kang gnashed his steel fan in fright.

“A-Are deities fighting ahead?! Where did that come from?!” Yan Yu screamed.

“How the hell should I know?! I was with you!”

The two immortals gulped as they couldn’t imagine themselves defending against that beam. As low-tier immortals, orange lightning bolts were their limits.

“…Say, if that did not come from a deity, is someone undergoing a celestial emperor’s tribulation?”

“Celestial emperor? Nah, this star cluster is desolated and barren. Only Earth Celestials, Sky Celestials, and Star Celestials like us roam around here. The last time I saw a Heaven Celestial Immortal or stronger guy around here, it was when the Heavenly Court passed through this cluster.”

Situ Kang referred to the first three stages of immortal ranks. The first stage was the Earth Celestials, followed by the Sky Celestial and Star Celestial ranks. After that, there were Heaven Celestial, Celestial Warrior, Celestial General, Celestial King, Celestial Emperor, and True Immortal stages – A total of 9 ranks.

Orange tribulation only appeared when a mortal tried to break through to the Earth Celestial Stage. After this rank, every immortal was forced to challenge orange tribulation lightning every 100 years to maintain their status as an immortal. In case someone avoided the tribulation, they would get chased by orange tribulation lightning every day until they successfully transcended it.

This tradition and rules continued until one reached the Celestial Warrior Stage. Then, the tribulation lighting changed to red, but they had a longer time to prepare. Instead of being forced to get hit once every 100 years, they needed to take it every 1,000 years.

As for black, it remained a mystery. Situ Kang and Yan Yu had never seen someone going through a black tribulation yet.

Then a black laser passed by.

They were confused.

“… Yan Yu. Should we really head there?” Situ Kang hesitated if helping his descendants was a good idea.

“That place… might be really in danger. I-I can’t abandon my children!” Despite saying that, Yan Yu turned around and flew away from his destination. “But my life takes priority! I can make more children if I want to! If they die, they die!”

“Y-Yeah. We spent a thousand years to get this far. W-We can’t run into a super expert and get ourselves killed prematurely!”

“T-That’s right. Let’s head back!”

“…Yeah.”

The two cowardly immortals turned tail and fled from their home planet.

That was the day that they completely abandoned their descendants. Even though their children repeatedly requested them to come back, they no longer responded to their calls.

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Meanwhile

After sending Esen to bed, Leo resumed upgrading his domain. As Leo had buildable structures, he erected the third warehouse and the third granary to store more goodies.

Once all buildings were upgraded to level 9, Leo shifted his focus to modern electric appliances to improve everybody’s life quality.

Each electric appliance was cheap. However, upgrading them cost 1,000 YOL at the minimum. It was worse for vehicles and firearms as the upgrading cost was the same as their price tag.

Street lights, microwaves, electric fans, washing machines, and electric cooking stoves were introduced to primitive employees as it was the first step to get them familiarized with a modern lifestyle.

As new tools, modern street lights, and new buildings appeared one after another, the new employees got distracted from work. They couldn’t stop wandering around to look at the new things.

Leo left them alone. After decorating and supplying the apartments and other residential buildings with enough electric appliances, he visited the “Grand Canyon” next.

Upon arriving at the massive canyon, Leo looked at the waterfall landmark. More freshwater continued to rain from the mystic realm platform and fell into the endless pit.

The new rival’s level was half full so far. It flowed down south, heading toward the main river near the Frozen Fire City. As the source of life returned, many fish swam upstream and resided in the canyon.

Leo stood at the edge of a cliff and gazed into the transparent river. He noticed several catfishes in there, which was not ideal for the ecology. After all, these guys preyed on smaller fishes.

For the sake of ecology, Leo jumped into the river. He also cladded himself with lightning Qi.

POOF

As soon as Leo’s body sank into the water, his smiling face froze as he remembered the flaw in his plan. He smacked his forehead while his body slowly floated on top of the water.

It was too late. The water source slowly emitted a strange color as it was contaminated by Leo’s cells and his radiation.

“Goddammit. My radiation can never be filtered like those Japanese nuclear plants! I might end up creating several Godzillas here!”

Despite the realization, Leo didn’t bother climbing out of the river. Instead, he dove back into it to see the mutation of stunned catfishes.

As Leo had guessed, a hundred catfishes nearby squirmed in pain as their bodies swelled and bloated. Some of them looked like swollen puffer fish while many grew pairs of arms and legs. Fortunately, all of them died trying to evolve.

As more fish died, they floated on top of the river. Leo collected them into his spatial rings, planning to make some freshwater sushi as dinner.

But as Leo happily harvested more dead fish, a large creature suddenly fell from the waterfall.

BOOM

The massive creature hit the water’s surface, creating a massive splash. It rapidly sank, but its nose coincidentally smashed into Leo’s head.

Leo rubbed his head and looked up. Then, his eyes met with the animal’s eyes.

The thing that had fallen from the waterfall was a horned caiman.

“Huh?”

Leo was confused about how it appeared here in this world. He tilted his head, staring at the monster beast. Then, he remembered.

Kitten promised to pay taxes by capturing the local creatures in the mystic realm for Leo. He figured that the statue guardian might have already started working, and this guy was the tribute.

The caiman opened its mouth and tried to eat Leo alive. However, it swallowed a lot of contaminated water in the process.

CHOMP

It resisted Leo’s radiation and bit Leo’s torso. However, its teeth failed to penetrate through his clothes and his skin.

“Oh, nice timing. I need a boat.”

Leo gently pried the giant caiman’s mouth open and climbed on its back. He then smacked its head lightly, teaching it a lesson.

“Submerge, my submarine!”

“…”

The caiman resisted. It rolled its body while they were underwater, trying to shake the weird Florida Man off its back.

Leo resisted. He hugged its mouth and pulled it up.

ZAAAA

A few seconds later, both man and caiman submerged. The monster beast continued to twist and turn, flapping its tail and body to remove the rider.

Instead of intimidating the rider, Leo cackled as he had fun.

“YEAH! SHAKE IT, BABY! YEE-HAW!”