FFF-Class Trashero

[32nd Round] Reorganization

“Ha…”

“Are you okay?”

“Ha…”

Frustrated by my Romantium skeleton, Carrot Teacher had been depressingly fiddling around with carrots.

Well, what did he expect?

Did he think he could use ordinary carrots to destroy Romantium, a legendary metal?

That seemed to be the case, considering he remained in such a sorry state.

But…

“Wow! Your carrot is so wonderful, Carrot Teacher!”

Flinch.

His expression changed the moment he heard Morality Hero’s kind words.

Struggling to face her, he grunted.

“I feel humiliated. The carrots I cherish have been defeated.”

Ordinary carrots grown in mundane fields stood no chance against metal mined in hundreds of thousands of parallel worlds in the first place.

I didn’t want to do this, but I decided to entrust this to the Morality Hero since we wouldn’t make any progress at this rate.

“They haven’t. Carrot Teacher was summoned out of nowhere and was given no time to prepare for the battle. You didn’t even know his bones were made of Romantium, did you?”

“Hmm. You’re right.”

“And not everyone can have a skeletal system made of Romantium. A poor teacher like me needs Carrot Teacher’s cheap power.”

“Cheap…”

“Ah! Please ignore that trivial adjective!”

… I finally found out why Morality Hero’s Kindness skill was only D-rank.

She immediately nullified the affection she built up with others.

She gave both the sickness and the cure!

That was why the Fantasy system didn’t raise her skill’s rank, but the President of the Universe seemed to like it.

Well, at least it made Carrot Teacher regain his vigor.

“If you need my cheap swordsmanship, I shall teach it to you!”

“I’m in your care!”

“This swordsmanship’s advantage comes from its ability to be mastered through efforts alone, eliminating the need for talent. Perfecting all of its 628 trillion styles and techniques would be great since they would allow you to deal with all situations except for Romantium pillows and bones. That might prove too time-consuming and advanced, however, but there’s no need to worry. Even just 314 trillion of them would be enough to ensure your survival.”

“Uh…”

“If you have any questions, please feel free to cut me off. That has happened to me so often that it’s no longer a problem for me. Haha!”

“I’m sorry…”

“There’s really nothing to be sorry for. I don’t look like someone who’d be upset for being talked over, do I?”

No, but he looked like he was about to cry, seemingly because he was no longer having a one-sided conversation with a wall.

I had witnessed similar situations occasionally when I was still a student on Earth. Back then, whenever enthusiastic young teachers asked, “Any questions?” the sleepy classroom often provided little to no response.

This situation was similar to those rare moments when one of the students would raise their arms and say, “I have one!”

Morality Hero spoke quickly to revive the atmosphere.

“Unfortunately, I’m a teacher as well. I can’t postpone my class until I’ve mastered such a huge number of techniques! Please let me take a faster, beginner-friendly course instead.

“Ah! I apologize for not considering your situation at all. In that case, you can just learn the basics, which is around 1% of my style. I call it the 30 Billion Swordsmanship.”

“Ah…”

Unable to say anything, she looked at me with pleading eyes.

Before her GGG-Class Companion, 3 trillion and 30 billion were the same.

‘But I got your back, Morality Hero! Let me live up to your trust!’

“Carrot Teacher.”

“There’s no need for you to learn my cheap swordsmanship, President Kang Han Soo. considering your body is made of Romantium.”

“I’m not interested in it anyway. I just have a simple question. Isn’t it far more sensical to teach a single style and its situational applications?”

“Who decided that?”

“… Hmm?”

I hated having my question answered with another question, but I refrained from grabbing his spine.

Still, what part of my suggestion wasn’t ideal?

The method I mentioned was so logical and commonly practiced that it would be idiotic to think otherwise.

“Please listen carefully, President. Those who say they can learn and use only one swordsmanship style are no better than sewage rats that will never be able to come out of their solar system. Your suggestion is good in theory, but battles between gods are often decided in an instant. There won’t even be time to think about how a technique can be best applied in such situations.”

“Indeed…”

I could roughly understand the reasoning behind his explanation.

Under normal circumstances, battles progressed this way:

Swordsmanship A → Situation → Analysis → Swordsmanship A+

But with his teachings, it proceeded like so:

Swordsmanship A → Situation → Swordsmanship B

Generally speaking, swordsmen needed time to think about how best to apply their limited styles relative to their predicament. However, they wouldn’t always have that opening.

Essentially, the fate of their lives depended on how long that gap was.

However, Carrot Teacher’s swordsmanship eliminated the need for analysis.

There was no need to worry since those who practiced it already knew which techniques to use in every situation!

… His reasoning made sense.

“However, wouldn’t it take some time to search through all of them to find the right answer?”

“Do you take a long time searching for the right words when speaking, President?”

“… No.”

“My swordsmanship is no different.”

“Is that so…?”

“I’m going to give an extreme example to make it easier to understand. Humans express themselves by combining several words, but dogs only bark. Do you think that alone puts their ability to communicate anywhere near the level of humans?”

“Ah…”

“The ‘logical solution’ the President suggested is similar to barking. If a dog barks, growls, or whimpers, it’ll be able to convey its emotions to its owner to a certain extent. Moreover, they might be easier and faster to learn than an entire human language. However, there’s a limit to such primitive practices. Sooner or later, human language would inevitably surpass it.”

“…”

I didn’t argue any further.

No matter hard I objected here, Carrot Teacher would refute it calmly and without much consideration.

This wasn’t to say he was completely right.

However, I would never be able to overturn the philosophy of this Sword God.

“I’m not sure if I managed to convey my thoughts properly. I’m confident in my swordsmanship, but my communication skills are at the level of a dog…”

“No. You did well. I learned a lot from this.”

“That’s a relief, if so…”

“I’m serious.”

I became a god by chance.

One could even say I was just purely lucky.

Was luck a skill?

“No. Luck is all about skills.”

There were times when a person became stronger or changed for the better due to certain coincidences.

Was that based on skill?

My current ability was the result of a lot of luck and chance combined with tremendous efforts.

‘Luck is a skill.’

‘Skill is luck.’

Although they looked nearly the same, there was an extreme difference between them.

The first phrase sounded extremely cheeky.

Considering there existed a goddess of luck in the universe, one should refrain from using lines like that since it might provoke her.

On the other hand, the latter sounded humble.

It was as if I was saying I refused to brag about my success since I couldn’t have done it without my parents.

That difference between the two phrases was critical.

“I was lucky.”

It was pure luck that I, an extremely ordinary Earthling, was able to reach this far.

On the contrary, socially maladjusted people, believing that luck was a skill, waited for fortune to strike once more while singing idiotic songs like ‘When will my next luck come~♪’

“You don’t have to be that humble, President. If luck made gods, then everyone would be a god.”

“It’s the opposite.”

Many people in this world worked harder than I did.

After all, there were countless office workers who worked day and night while I played with my cowardly wife’s spine and pelvis.

But none of them became gods.

Aside from the socially maladjusted, everyone tirelessly made desperate measures to improve their souls.

However, the results didn’t always justify one’s perseverance.

“I was lucky.”

Because the reward I gained was equal to that of the effort I exerted.

Though I achieved an extraordinary feat, it was only possible because of the bit of luck I had that others didn’t.

In that sense, I had nothing to boast about.

“Hmm… That reminded me of a saying from my home planet, President. ‘Not everyone can reach the heavens.’ There must be a reason why you had more luck than others. Perhaps you helped more than the rest of your competition, which made the heavens grant you additional power…”

“Notion rejected!”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because the President of the Universe didn’t favor me for the free service I provided to others. If that were the case, then they picked the wrong person.”

“Well, that’s true…”

“I consider today’s meeting lucky for me as well. I learned a lot thanks to you, Carrot Teacher.”

“But I—”

“I’ll be taking my leave now.”

Pop!

… I felt like I forgot something important physically and mentally, but it was probably just my imagination.

『A certain perfect sword god continues the class.』

『A certain kind goddess tries to smile.』

*****

“Drug Hero! Ugly!”

“What?”

“Ugly! Ugly!”

“….”

I didn’t think there was anything uglier than a spirit rubbing their body against someone else’s head, but…

Rubbing my index finger on my aching temple, I warned her.

“If you don’t want to be punished, then be quiet—”

“Ugly! Ugly!”

“This spirit…!”

I expected her to know the Righteous GGG-Class Hero better!

“Hehehe! I was surprised. I can’t believe Pedonar is your younger brother. Your genealogy became so twisted that I gave up trying to understand it.”

“Good for you.”

My real brother was my father-in-law.

I wanted to give up thinking about this shocking reality, but I missed my chance to do so since the Addicted Spirit declared her surrender before I could.

“This also means your brother is also your nephew. Do you have any clever ideas on how to fix this?”

“None! Hehehe!”

“Ugh…”

“Where are your ancestors, Drug Hero?”

“Well… Let’s just say human life is fleeting.”

I felt strange saying that since I hadn’t even lived for 300 years yet, but from the universe’s perspective, it really did seem instantaneous.

Even the light of the stars in the night sky came from millions of years ago.

“Are you going to my ugly niece? This is going to be my first time seeing the institution, if so.”

That was only natural. Fantasy students were absolutely forbidden to enter that place.

“Faculty office.”

“W-wait!”

“What are you so scared about?”

“Didn’t you say we’re going to the faculty office?! That room suffocates students! Of course, I’d be scared!”

“Wow…”

It seemed a soft-spoken Hero who couldn’t adapt to school life instilled strange knowledge within her.

The faculty office wasn’t a funeral home that buried weak Heroes alive.

… Maybe it was, but that was all in the past.

“Oh! Master!”

“Little Ssosia?”

The Fantasy system’s personification.

Commonly known as the Fantasy Goddess.

The name of Ssosia’s mother, home planet, and artificial intelligence were all Fantasy…

That was just too much.

She even had Ssosia’s childhood appearance.

“Since the control over the system has been transferred from Mistress Fantasy to the master, my authority has been greatly reduced. Right now, I can barely escape the grasps of dormancy and removal by cleaning the faculty room’s hallways.”

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“Well… the mistress hasn’t paid much attention to me since she gave birth to Sidael.”

“…”

So this was my cowardly wife’s fault!

“I’ll punish Ssosia’s pelvis instead of you later.”

“Why her pelvis…?”

“What’s wrong? Would you rather I punish her spine?”

“N-no… Anyway, talking with the master for a long time might break the system, so it would be best for us to get straight to the point immediately. What punishment must I give to the faculty and staff members who hated you so much? Massacre? Annihilation? Obliteration? Destruction?”

“Why does it have to involve violence and death?”

“Because there is only a 0.27% chance you’ll choose something else. After all, even though it has been quite some time since you became the president, you’ve never visited this place until now.”

“Well…”

I didn’t object since she wasn’t wrong.

But she wasn’t right either.

“Even when I was a cute emperor, I didn’t rely on those beneath me all that much.”

“It’s been like that ever since. You did it all by yourself, without reaching out to your fellow problem-solving colleagues and the natives. In the past, I would have given a long speech regarding the importance of trust, but I’ve decided against it to avoid being deleted.”

“I’m sorry, but don’t worry. I think of you as my daughter.”

“What a terrible thing to say…”

“You just broke my heart!”

“It’s a joke.”

“Really?”

“Yes. In fact, I’m happy since for as long as you consider me your daughter, you won’t delete me because I’m unnecessary.”

“What do you think of me?”

“You are about 98% demon. 2% of your human days’ conscience remains in you, but it remains insignificant.”

“That’s too much.”

The Fantasy Goddess put her arms around my left arm right after spouting such insolence.

“That’s why I must make desperate efforts to live, Dad.”

“Uh… Dad…?”

“I found a surprising discovery that if I called you dad gently, I’d be increasing my probability of not being deleted by 17.05%.”

“… If it hadn’t been for that explanation, you really would have.”

“So! What did you come here for?”

That was a good question.

“If we really want to change the way we teach, shouldn’t we also have to change teachers?”

“That’s fairly logical. Does that mean you’ve come to remove the teachers that have become as useless as your colleagues during your first round?”

“Not exactly.”

I would have to punish my daughter’s spine and scold her for painting me, her father, as the villain.

But that would have to come later. I actually visited this place for expansion work.

『A certain righteous divine being is recruiting fair and kind teachers.』

『A certain righteous divine being says their salary will be paid in the form of passion.』

『A certain righteous divine being rejects the notion of giving the recruits school holidays.』