FFF-Class Trashero

Chapter 39: Fire in the hole…!

I ran straight towards the southeast from where a cool wind was blowing. While I did feel as if something was also coming in from the southwest, it was all my imagination.

Explode: What’s wrong with southeast!

‘Miss Trainee Teacher, who said anything?’

Everything was quite big in the terrain of this continent where the Hero Festival was taking place. Trees, grass, pebbles, ponds, streams… even the small spring where I met the mermaid was the same. Although it was easy to imagine it as the size of a bathtub in which a celestial maiden might strip and bathe in, that small spring was large enough to be used for a swimming competition.

The Zelkova tree I was seeing before my eyes at present was like so—it was immensely large. It was as wide and tall as the legendary Tower of Babel. Its top part couldn’t be seen clearly as it was covered by thick fog and its branches, but my eyes could discern the people sticking to the uneven bark of the thick tree trunk like cicadas.

“Get lost all of you!”

“Don’t push I say! Gasp!”

“Euaagh~?!”

These people were in the midst of climbing the steep trunk of the Zelkova tree; however, they were far from cooperating with one another, overflowing with friendship and love—it was a scene of pandemonium where they shoved and attacked among themselves. Something amazing was definitely at the top of that tree, and that being the case…

Grab!

“Keh-kekegh?!”

I decided to grab hold of Passerby 1 who was going by and ask him a question.

“My friend with the hair dyed red, let me ask just one thing. What’s up there at the top that those people are struggling so hard to climb?”

I slightly eased my grip on his neck so he could speak.

His windpipe opened, Passerby 1 replied, “Cough-cough! You crazy punk! Think I’d tell y-”

“Oops!”

Crack!

My hand slipped, and Passerby 1, whose neck was broken as a result, disappeared like a mirage while leaving behind his clothes and belongings, as well as some EXP.

I searched for a new Passerby 2.

‘It’d be nice if my hand won’t slip this time.’

“Pardon me, lady with the outrageous underwear showing under her short skirt. It’ll only be moderately bad for yourself if you look this way instead of pretending not to have heard me.”

“Hiik?! Yes, yes!”

“Now, then let me just ask one thing. What’s at the to-”

“An Elf King’s Tear!”

Passerby 2 gave a quick reply, cutting across my question. Apparently she had listened to my conversation with Passerby 1.

Elf King’s Tear… it wasn’t the tear of that lump of EXP whose loathing towards humans reached the extreme—I wouldn’t take something like the tear of a coarse man even if given to me. This tear was one of the three hidden treasures of Elfheim Kingdom.

Note: It is a replica, though.

Miss Trainee Teacher then added that the original items couldn’t be placed in the festival.

In any case…

An Elf King’s Tear is an elixir, made from processing the special amniotic fluid that comes out when an eternally living Elf royalty is born, a cure-all of a forever young and undying being! However, as Arch-Elves had abysmal birth rates, the amniotic fluid used in creating an Elf King’s Tear was also greatly rare, which was why it was one of the three hidden treasures of Elfheim and also why Elves guarded it desperately.

“Fend off the human intruders!”

“Stop them from climbing into the sanctum!”

“Don’t save your arrows!”

An uncountable number of Elves were lurking on the huge Zelkova tree. They mercilessly shot arrows at the humans climbing up.

Twang! Twang! Twang—!

“Aargh?! My eye-!”

“There are too many arrows!”

The people were hit by the Elves’ arrows and fell below the tree.

It was at this time that I came to know of one surprising truth.

“Euah, auh…”

Over here, there was the unfortunate Human A who was dying due to falling.

▷Race: Arch-Human

▷Level: 586

▷Job: Magician(Age→Magic Power↑)

▷Skills: Interpretation(A) Magic(C) Elementalism(D) Blessing(E) Charm(E)…

▷Condition: Poisoned, Bleeding, Fracture

Human A couldn’t even use a single flight spell properly and had fallen to the ground despite being a Magician—to say it was because of the poison smeared on the Elves’ arrowheads would be no more than an excuse. It was at this moment that the cute-looking Human B approached.

“I’ll cure you!”

The warm light emitted From Human B’s hand suffused throughout Human A’s body; the injury which was so horrible as to show bone was healed within the span of a breath, and…

▷Race: Arch-Human

▷Level: 581

▷Job: Magician(Age→Magic Power↑)

▷Skills: Interpretation(A) Magic(C) Elementalism(D) Blessing(E) Charm(E)…

▷Condition: Good

Human A’s Level dropped by a whole 5!

If Human B had committed a brutal deed like that to me, then I would have made the other side repent by suffering from a herniated waist disc until death, yet Human A’s attitude was the exact opposite.

“Thank you for saving me!”

Not minding his own Level, Human A thanked Human B. What was he thankful about after giving a vast amount of EXP as the healing fee? I couldn’t understand.

“Don’t mention it. I wish you good luck.”

But Human B, who took that as if it was a matter of course, saw Human A off with a business smile, pushing at his back so that he would quickly end up injured again while fighting.

Touched: A wonderful collaboration, isn’t it?

‘Miss Trainee Teacher, I think one more of this wonderful scene will end up killing a person?’

It was an awfully shocking sight.

“So that’s why the Level of the graduates were low…”

Upon graduating, only your Job and the Holy Sword would be retrieved, while the core of a Status, Level and Skills, would remain. Yet why? The state of all the graduates was a mess. Granted that their Skills might have become reduced to shambles as they stopped being a Hero, but their low Level which didn’t even reach 999 didn’t stand to reason. However, it was after witnessing that collaboration from just before that I came to a realization.

“Hah! Assholes like Sieg are hanging about everywhere!”

A surprising magic that made you weak upon going adventuring!

Only Human B was done a favor in the previous scene.

▷Race: Arch-Human

▷Level: 999+

▷Job: Healer(Age→Heal↑)

▷Skills: Heal(SS) Interpretation(A) Charm(B) Health(B) Business(C)…

▷Condition: Good

A Status specialized for healing only!

Unlike those with combat occupations who lost Levels the more they fought, the Level of Human B, who had been harvesting EXP safely from the rear line, was normal. And Human B wasn’t the only one like this.

“I’ll cure you!”

“I’ll run to wherever there’s a patient!”

“It hurts, right? Endure it just a little!”

I saw many Level 999 Healers running about like army doctors. There seemed to be more of them than the patients.

“… What a sickening sight.”

Tap.

I summoned forth Holy Sword 2.

I had toiled for a whole 11 years to escape from this barbaric world, but the pathetic sight of these assholes called graduates went beyond my imagination. What had I been trying so hard for all that time? I couldn’t admit that I was lesser than this bunch.

And so I was going to remove them.

Fwip—fwip—fwip—

I swung Holy Sword 2 towards where the healers and patients were gathered. It didn’t matter even if my opponents were Level 999; it wouldn’t even require breaking a sweat to dice up ‘paper bodies’ that foolishly raised only Heal without defensive Skills such as Endurance.

I hacked at the area of a skiing grounds using Massacre(SS).

“Keuurgh?!”

“Wh-what’s going—kugh?!”

“Kyagh?!”

The entire area at the base of the tree, where the event to fight for the Elf King’s Tear was in a full swing, was dyed crimson with the blood and flesh of humans. This cruel scene only lasted for a moment, however.

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

The graduates who were judged to have died were expelled from the festival.

“I, I give!”

“Give up!”

“Hik?! I give up!”

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

Those who had luckily escaped the range of Massacre(SS) or withstood it also quickly shouted their intent to give up and made their exit.

The previously bustling event location became quiet.

Flustered: All the dirt was swept away by the southeasterly wind…

‘Oh! Miss Trainee Teacher, that’s a tasteful way of putting it.’

▷Race: Chaos Human

▷Level: 376

▷Job: Thief(The Weak→Fortune↑)

▷Skills: Battle Spirit(SSS) Dark Energy(SSS) Massacre(SS) Chaos(SS) Destruction(SS)…

▷Condition: Wild, Frenzy, Berserk, Holy Sword 2

I no longer needed the indistinctive Hero perk, since Level would rise in no time if you went hunting with 5 times the effort. My Condition was a trivial issue, so it was nothing to pay mind to. Now, for the Elf King’s Tea…

“Who are you?”

Slash-

I reflexively swung Holy Sword 2 at hearing the polite voice of a youth which sounded from very close by. I once again pulled taut my nerves which had slightly relaxed.

‘I failed to notice somebody’s presence…?’

This was normally something impossible; however, the place I was at wasn’t normal—the Hero Festival. It was a venue of festivities where all the heroes who had defeated Demon King Pedonar were squeezed into. It would be nonsense to say there wouldn’t be a single hero with superior combat ability among them, and that really was the truth.

The person who dodged my attack was a brilliantly shining gem among the dirt.

▷Race: Grand Human

▷Level: 999+

▷Job: Monarch(Vassals→Omnipotence↑)

▷Skills: Swordsmanship(SSS) Divinity(SS) Leadership(SS) Endurance(S) Immunity(S)…

▷Condition: Constellation, Blessing, Demon Sword, Doping, Divine Protection

Even his Status was surprising, a beautiful banquet of Skills that came close to my standard in the 1st Playthrough. It was a wonder as to how he was maintaining the proficiency of so many Skills without the Job ‘Hero’. The answer was likely ‘Omnipotence’. And that ‘Grand Human’ Race also caught my attention as it was a Race I didn’t know of.

“I could ask the same?”

“Haha! An interesting person I see, to think that you don’t know my face. I can tell it hasn’t been long since you graduated, as you wouldn’t be running so wild otherwise! This isn’t a fantasy world that only exists for yourself. It is maintained by rules and order. In addition, there are also punishments.”

Tuk.

The man then summoned forth an antique-looking bronze sword; it was the ‘Demon Sword’ marked in his Condition. I was also very familiar with that sword.

“That’s… Sword King Alex’s exclusive weapon, isn’t it…?”

It was the Demon Sword which had always hung by the Sword King’s waist like a lover—Holy Demon Sword, Swordmaster! It was possible to obtain it by using pure swordsmanship to defeat the guardian ‘Sword God’, who had lived crazily for the sword and ended up truly going insane. Vexing though it was, I had failed to obtain it, as I didn’t have the mad talent to achieve mastery in one specialty.

“Haha! I am spec…”

Puhwak-

The man’s handsome head flew up into the air.

‘I detest long-winded men. Right?’

At A Loss: You even cut through his weapon? Then even outstanding swordsmanship would be useless. Though the gentleman who got done in would feel very bewildered and aggrieved.

‘Pah! If you feel aggrieved, then why don’t you use a better weapon than Holy Sword 2!’

“Kyah?! Sir Kim Man Cheon~?!”

“Our guild master was finished in a single-?!”

“What? The Sword Saint was defeated?!”

“My god! Mr. Kim Man Cheon was…!”

The onlookers who had been peeping by the sides kicked a fuss. It was definitely no coincidence that the ratio of young and pretty woman among them seemed extremely high. He was a monarch who knew romance, apparently?

‘That’s the reason for your defeat! Monarch A!’

“Everyone~ Was the festival enjoyable? Now it’s time to pass on the baton and return home to sleep~?”

*

*

*

I nicely placated the onlookers who insisted on staying and sent them all home. Even though I couldn’t go back despite wanting to… they were idiots that didn’t appreciate the importance of home.

This woman before me was the last of them.

“Sir Kim Man Cheon will never forgive y—Kyauh?!”

I gave a pretty slash between the 4th and 5th lumbar vertebrae of the woman, who foretold a boring revenge tragedy in a harshly sharp voice.

“Mhm. Buzz off to your beloved sweetheart.”

“Son of a b-”

Pop!

There had been a remarkable number among the women who wore outfits that clearly showed off their slender hips and creamy thighs. There was a high ratio that chose to wear black fishnet stockings and garter belts too. Perhaps their style reflected Monarch A’s preferences? It was easy to cut them as their defenses were poor.

“It would still be nice if they put on something, though. Are they looking down on people? Or could it be… they can’t distinguish actual fighting from cosplaying?”

Well, in any case.

The area of the huge tree had become quiet.

Sigh: My senior might end up crying if he saw this lonely sight. He really worked hard preparing the event to fight for the Elf King’s Tear…

‘Miss Trainee Teacher, there’s no need to feel so sad. Because I’m taking over this event.’

“Stop! Human!”

“If you come any closer… Eyah!”

Thwish-!

An Elf shot an arrow at me as I leisurely climbed up the tree, not simply as a warning shot but with the intent to kill. I neither dodged nor blocked the incoming arrow, however; there was no need for that at all.

▷Type: Skill

▷Name: Fortune(++)

▷Rank: B(++)

▷A: The energy of the universe lends aid occasionally.

▷B: Always ignore traps. (++)

▷C: Luck increases tremendously. (++)

▷D: Safe from falls. (++)

▷E: Dodge all unseen arrows. (++)

▷F: Luck improves.

Under the divine protection of Fortune(B), no arrowhead made its mark on me.

“Shoot that human!”

“All units commence firing!”

“Protect the treasure!”

The several thousands of violent Elves, who had been lurking in various spots on the huge Zelkova tree, began to rain down arrows.

Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh!

But I remained fine without a scratch. All the arrows unbelievably brushed past my body. Their trajectories would bend due to a sudden gust, or the arrows would collide against each other during flight and fall apart. There were even cases of bow limbs breaking or bow strings snapping. The causes for the arrows missing were truly various.

“Hng~ Heung~♫”

I reached the place where the Elf King’s Tear was stored without a fight. The proficiency of Fortune shot up as my luck activated repeatedly. This would have been impossible had my Job been ‘Hero’. And then at last…

Fortune(B)→Fortune(A)

The energy of the universe permeated my body.

Mourning: Senior. Your event is turning weird…

Pop.

I opened the lid of the glass bottle containing the Elf King’s Tear and drank it. While it was a replica, its effect was quite significant.

“… Mm?”

‘What’s that? Something huge dropping fast this way…’

Craash-!

A meteor crashed onto the top of the Zelkova tree, on which the Elves were jumping about—the event site and those related to it disappeared without leaving a trace.

The energy of the universe was amazing!

Silent Prayer: Senior…

‘Miss Trainee Teacher, will you end your praying quickly?’

I was looking at the earth from which the huge Zelkova tree was burnt out of existence; something that looked like a secret tunnel came into my sight which lead down towards where the tree roots were. Was it an extension of the event?

Puzzled: I’m not sure. It was Senior who set all the Elves as archers, saying that the festival preparations were bothersome. There’s no way he would have put in such an elaborate setting…

“That so…?”

I promptly jumped down into the pitch-dark hole.

‘Let’s try believing in the energy of the universe.’