FFF-Class Trashero

[13th Round] Big Fairy, Little Fairy

“Oh no.”

I didn’t know how to approach this situation, but Captain Fantasy seemed to be satisfied.

Even after ingesting the First Elf King, an extremely unhealthy food, he seemed to have escaped indigestion.

On the contrary…

“Ooh! ”

He burped, showing that he digested him well!

Not long after, the hair on his giant head changed from black to red.

Soon enough, something fell out of the child’s plump butt.

“That’s… Oh, my God.”

For the first time in my life, I saw Captain Fantasy go to the toilet.

What fell to the ground showed signs of life, however.

“Ahem…”

I thought the love of the universe had already left me, but it didn’t.

The First Elf King, spilling out of Captain Fantasy’s butt, was perfectly fine. However, he had lost an extremely important trait.

▷ Race: Royal Elf

▷ Level: 1

▷ Job: Unemployed (110% experience)

▷ Skills: Patience Z, Interpretation A

▷ Status: Confused, Panicking

His body was unharmed, but his experience points and skills were gone.

Only Z-rank Patience remained, but that skill was probably trained while he was going through the baby’s digestive system, so I had to leave that out of the discussion.

I looked at Captain Fantasy again.

“You’re doing great.”

He absorbed all the good nutrients and got rid of the waste.

“Ooh!”

Bright red wings grew on Captain Fantasy’s back as he laughed hysterically.

They were huge, just the right size for his body.

But he could have burned the entire Southern Continent!

His wings were different from what I’d seen from the Five Great Disasters or the First Elf King. As soon as he flapped them, the temperature around him immediately rose, and the grass and trees in our vicinity immediately dried out.

“Hot!”

“That’s scary!”

“He’s way too huge!”

The giants, who had become nothing more than “weak little creatures” in Captain Fantasy’s presence, ran away without ever looking back.

The Giant King wanted to do the same, but I still had business with him, so I couldn’t just let him go.

“W-what do you want?”

“Eat,” I said, pointing to the First Elf King.

He had lost his incinerating capabilities, but he was still valuable since he could extend the life of the old Giant King.

Giants grew for as long as they lived, and elves had no life span limit.

Their growth would theoretically be infinite with their racial traits combined.

One could only grow through leveling up in computer games, but they couldn’t ignore weight class and size in real life.

My dear friend Noebius could boast of both.

“Don’t insult me! You want me to eat that kid’s shit?! I would rather you kill me now!”

“Ooh!”

Disgruntled, Fantasy Captain forcibly shoved the First Elf King into the Giant King’s mouth.

Yes, the First Elf King could indeed be called crap without any useful substances, but he did seem to retain something.

The colossal monster, who had deep wrinkles, became younger in an instant. But there was a side effect.

“Argh! Get out of my head! No, this is my body! What are you talking about? I am the Elf King… or the Giant King? My beloved wife and children… I have none of that! Get out of here! You get out of here! Aaaaghhh! ”

Clutching his head with both hands and falling to the ground, the Giant King began to mutter incoherently to himself.

Did he develop a Split-Personality Disorder?

Well, that aside, at least their fusion seemed to have gone well.

“He doesn’t look well at all, Drug Hero…”

“I’m fine with that.”

He was huge. Hence, he could still rule the giants.

Even though he couldn’t become the Fire King, he was still the Giant King. Minor errors like that couldn’t be avoided… right?

▷ Humility: It can’t be helped… There’s not much time left until he starts the war, and besides, there are no other candidates for the Great Disaster position, so we’ll leave it at that. There’s just some doubt as to whether he’ll be as strong as his original version was.

‘You don’t need to worry about that. Like I said, leave everything to me.’

“I’m a good teacher.”

I wasn’t certified, though.

The only problem was our size difference, but Captain Fantasy could help with that.

“Ooh.”

We would make a great villain out of him together!

***

It would be nice if things worked out the way we planned, but no matter how good of a teacher I was, if the student couldn’t do everything I told him to do, the results would be negligible.

Because of that, I was forced to spend about a year in the south.

My educational program encompassed more than just the Giant King.

I turned a huge volcano into a forge for the production of the iron armor and weapons that the giants would use. I then taught them how to fight properly and how to effectively use their colossal bodies.

The hardest part was introducing flush toilets.

Sizing them up was no problem, but the amount of excrement they produced was excessive.

Just when I was about to give up, the love of the universe helped me find a solution.

The giants mostly fed on sea monsters, so their excrement, after some processing, would dry out and become as strong as steel.

Noticing that, I organized a massive construction business, ordering the construction of high fortress walls and dams!

There was little progress in the beginning, but as their wastes piled up, our efforts soon resulted in an ample supply of building materials.

My last engineering project was a huge fish farm.

I chose fishery over farming, considering the latter wouldn’t be able to handle the giants’ needs.

For that to happen, however, a path had to be created that was shallow enough to reach the middle of the sea on foot.

That required hard physical labor for an indefinite amount of time.

“But that doesn’t concern me.”

After all, I wouldn’t personally do it.

I focused on countering the fact that Phoenix, within which the King of Elves and the King of Giants were united, was so weak.

He should at least be able to defeat the heroes who would attack him.

Hence, I tried to develop his entire race as best as I could as a solution.

I already had experience becoming an emperor and building a huge empire, making this task less difficult.

“Sir Hero, aren’t they developing too fast?” Shadow A interfered with my plans.

“I’m scolded when I work slowly, scolded when I work fast. Why do you keep picking on me?”

“I just think the giants will take over the world if things continue at this rate.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.”

The moment my dear friend, the Supreme Dragon of Oblivion, exhaled even just a little, there would be no traces left of them.

Not everything in the world could be achieved by time and effort alone.

Phoenix, who couldn’t grow stronger no matter how well I trained him, was a good example.

“How much longer is this hell going to last?!”

My gentle training was nothing compared to Sword King Alex’s brutal training, but Phoenix still couldn’t keep up with its pace.

My program wasn’t even that difficult.

“Is it so hard to run one lap around the mountain with Captain Fantasy on your back?”

“Urghh…”

Phoenix, spitting blood, began to complain about how impossible my demands were.

“Do you know how huge that mountain is! And this baby weighs more than all the giants put together!”

“That’s because he’s tough!”

“Whoo! Whoo!”

We certainly didn’t get the result we wanted, but I couldn’t waste time here anymore.

It was time to go to the Eastern Continent, then fight my dear comrade and father-in-law in the Central Continent.

I had spent too much time on the Southern Continent.

“Great Child King, a group calling themselves the representatives of the elven people has arrived,” Reported the giant chosen as his steward.

Captain Fantasy was much bigger and stronger than Phoenix, so it was only natural that he became the Giant King for the time being. I was in charge of his practical duties.

“Hey, you’ve been visited.”

“Uuhh.”

Their infant ruler always only had one answer.

“Tell them to come in.”

“Ouhh.”

I would provide the orders, and Captain Fantasy would allow it. That was what we had been doing up to this point.

Lately, since other countries had recognized us, we had been receiving frequent visits from other nations.

Oh! Princesses from neighboring human states were also here now.

At first, their faces were grim, as if they were being dragged to a penal colony, but after they used the flush toilet, the expression on their faces immediately changed.

However, this was the first time the elves had come.

I was just about to leave…

▷ Intervention: If this keeps up, the story will change altogether. If you look at the course of real history, you can see that the threat from the giants is necessary for the elves to establish their own state. With the help of the Hero, the Third Elf King should have defeated the Fire King Phoenix and gained recognition from neighboring countries, through which he would have built a kingdom of elves, but because of your perfect rule, that chance has been missed.

I understood what the system was trying to tell me.

For the pathetic Third Elf King to build a country for the elves, he needed outside help?

Well, that sounded reasonable. I was just generally surprised by the fact that the elven race wasn’t already extinct.

From the perspective of this era’s people, they looked like clever monkeys trying to build a nation.

“Sir Hero, do you hate me that much?” Shadow A began to talk nonsense all of a sudden.

If an aunt I saw every day asked a question like that, what was I supposed to answer?

“As always,” I answered honestly.

“Am I attractive as a woman?”

“Do you really have to ask me that? What’s important is that the man you love thinks you are beautiful.”

“I know that…”

At that moment, the messengers of the elves came in and admired the majestic building that was built of excrement.

I looked at the leader of the group.

As soon as I saw his face, I was immediately annoyed.

“It is an honor to meet you, Child King, respected by all giants. My name is Elfheim Khan Lanuverk, and I am the temporary leader of our race. I wish for us to forget the war between the giants and the elves and live for the peace and prosperity of both… Huh?!”

“Master Elfheim!”

Shadow A rushed forward at breakneck speed with her pupils shaped like hearts and embraced the future Elf King.

“Madam! If you’d be so… It’s hard for me… Wait… Ohhh.”

It was hard to understand the pathetic Elf King’s words since his head was sandwiched between Shadow A’s breasts, but it didn’t take long for him to stop resisting rigorously.

However, some weren’t happy about this development.

“Madam! Let go of my Elfheim now!” A female elf hissed like a cat defending its territory.

Why did she look familiar?

Everything but her breasts…

“Y-You?!”

“I am the wife of Master Elfheim!”

“You are but a pretender! Give him to me for the night.”

“What?! How dare you seduce him with your breasts! They’re not even real!”

“What are you talking about?!”

Adult Shadow A started a fight with a younger version of herself.

Because of them, the diplomatic talk was relegated to the back burner.

“Looks like it’s time to head to the Eastern Continent.”

“Uouhh.”

“I agree as well, Drug Hero.”

“Here, a feather.”

I left the future of Fantasy’s Southern Continent to that pathetic family of elves!