Chapter 507: Never would again

(Music recommendation: Hotel Sayre by Craig Armstrong, Lana Del Rey.)

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"Laila, faster!" Viola shouted, and Laila’s foot pressed harder against the pedal, the car lurching forward, weaving between the dark trees crowding the narrow road.

"We’re almost to the coast, Vee, just hold on!" Laila called back, her own voice shaking despite the steadiness she tried to force into it. She’d never watched anyone close to her die, had never experienced horror quite like this, and she poured everything she had left into driving, as though speed alone could outrun what was happening in the back seat.

Viola looked down at Zoe’s face, at the way her eyelids kept fluttering, fighting to stay open, and something clawed its way up Viola’s throat.

She reached for the dagger Sebastian had tucked into her belt, her fingers finding the hilt and pulling it free. Sebastian had told her once that she didn’t yet know everything she was capable of, maybe, Viola thought desperately, her blood still carried some trace of healing in it, even now.

"Hold still, Zoe, I’m going to try something." She dragged the blade across her own palm, hissing at the sting, blood welling up dark and fast.

"Luna, what are you—" Gilbert started, but Viola had already brought her palm to Zoe’s mouth, tipping her blood past her lips.

The blood slid across her pale lips, and Zoe tried her best to swallow as much of it as she could.

For one terrible second, nothing happened, as she took the blood in.

Then Zoe’s body convulsed, and she coughed, bringing up more blood than before, hers and Viola’s mixed together, spilling from the corner of her mouth and onto Gilbert’s shirt. She turned her face weakly away, refusing more of it, refusing to let Viola keep pouring herself uselessly into her.

"No... Vee... stop..." Zoe managed, her voice barely more than a whisper now, thinner than it had been even minutes before. "It’s... not... working..."

Viola’s hand fell away, her own blood still smeared across her palm, and something inside her chest cracked wide open.

"That’s fine, my sister will know what to do. We’re almost to the water, Zoe, my sister will heal you the second we get there, I promise you, just hold on a little longer, please."

She said it like a vow, as though if she said it with enough conviction, the universe would have no choice but to obey her and hold on to Zoe’s life.

Zoe’s lips curved, faint and trembling, into something that was almost a smile. "You have to always... take care of... yourself, Vee... I will miss... you so much... I feel honored to... have known you."

"Shh, don’t talk, Zoe. Save that energy. You won’t have to miss me, because I will be here with you." Viola brushed damp hair back from Zoe’s forehead, her own tears falling freely now, dripping onto Zoe’s pale skin, unable to hold them back any longer.

"You’re going to see my pup, Zoe. You’re going to hold them, and spoil them, and make them a whole wardrobe before they’re even born, remember? You promised me that."

Zoe’s eyes, half-lidded and glassy, drifted toward her, something soft moving behind the pain.

"I want... to see that..." she whispered. "And Seb... as a father..." A weak, wet laugh escaped her, more breath than sound. "He’ll be... so good at it... he already... raised me... when he was still just... a boy himself... tell him that... I’m sorry, and that... I still love him, no matter what..."

Her eyes fluttered, closing for a beat too long, and Viola’s heart lurched into her throat.

"Zoe. Zoe, look at me, stay with me, keep your eyes open." She squeezed her hand hard, and slowly, painfully, Zoe’s eyes opened again, though they seemed to struggle to find her, drifting and unfocused, before settling somewhere just past Viola’s shoulder.

"I’m... trying..." Zoe murmured. "It’s getting... hard to see you... everything’s... Fading... blurry..."

Matt made a sound from the front seat, something raw and broken, and turned his face away, his hand fisting hard against the seat, unable to watch her anymore, unable to bear hearing anything else she had to say.

"You’re doing so well, we’re so close, Zoe, I can smell the sea, can you smell it?" Viola lied, or maybe she believed it, she couldn’t tell anymore where the desperate hope ended and the truth began.

Zoe’s breathing had gone shallow and uneven, coming in small, fluttering gasps, each one seeming to cost her more than the last. Her fingers, still laced with Viola’s, had gone slack, no longer able to hold on with any real strength, and Viola tightened her own grip instead, refusing to let the connection break.

"Vee..." Zoe whispered, so faint now that Viola had to lean down to catch it. "Will you... sing for me?"

The request landed like a blow. Viola’s throat closed around a sob, but she swallowed it down, nodding fiercely. "Yes. Yes, of course, anything, whatever you want. I’ll sing for you a thousand times, if you just hold on."

She searched her memory frantically for something to sing, belatedly realizing she couldn’t recall a single song, until one simple tune finally surfaced, and it felt right for the moment.

"Don’t close your eyes, my dear one, I will give you my all..." Viola sang, her voice trembling and cracking on nearly every note, but she pushed through it, because Zoe was still watching her, a faint smile on her lips, still fighting to keep her eyes open a little longer.

"The stars are too beautiful to be watched with closed eyes, don’t sleep, watch them with me. You are not alone, I will hold you close, until you’re finally home..."

Zoe’s lips parted, and her chest rose in a long, shuddering breath, her eyes locked onto Viola’s face with a softness that had nothing to do with pain anymore.

"That’s... pretty..." she breathed, her voice barely there at all now, and her eyes began to drift, unfocused, toward the car’s ceiling, toward something Viola couldn’t see.

"Don’t look away from me, Zoe, look at me, please," Viola begged, but Zoe’s gaze had already gone distant, glassy, fixed somewhere beyond the both of them.

The world had gone strange and slow for Zoe, colors bleeding into one another at the edges of her vision, Viola’s face swimming in and out of focus like something viewed through water.

She could still hear the song, though it had grown impossibly far away, as if Viola were singing to her from the other end of a long, dark hallway, the notes stretching and warping, softening into something warm and formless, and Zoe wanted to hold on to the sound for as long as she possibly could.

She thought of her family and friends, and Zoe wanted so badly to hold on and stay with them. She thought of Matt’s arms around her as a child, of bedtime stories about glass slippers and princes, of the meal she’d never gotten to treat him to, and now, maybe, never would.

Of the nieces and nephews she would never get to see and hold, and Zoe felt her throat close around the thought. Something in her ached at that, one final, soft ache beneath all the others. I want to be here. She thought.

"Matt... I’m sorry... I love you all..." She whispered, her voice barely a breath, staring up at the car ceiling as it blurred further away, a tear sliding down her cheek as she heard Matt break into anguished sobs.

The song kept playing somewhere very far away, and Zoe let herself follow it, let the last of the warmth in Viola’s hand and the fading, muffled sound of her voice pull her gently toward the dark, until even that, at last, faded into nothing at all, and she was slowly, quietly gone.

Viola’s voice cracked on the final note as she felt Zoe’s hand go still and cold beneath her own, and the silence that followed was worse than any sound the car had carried since they’d left Nick’s pack behind.

"Zoe?" Viola whispered, staring down at Zoe’s wide, lifeless eyes, still fixed on the ceiling. "Zoe, look at me. Zoe!"

But Zoe didn’t answer, and she never would again.