Chapter 63: Thank You For Ever Being Born

Evan didn’t even manage to open his mouth to answer before another question came from Lumi.

"If I could bond deeper with you without marriage..." She hesitated, her fingers tightening slightly around the blanket. "Would you still have proposed to me?"

Evan was silent. For once, he didn’t answer immediately.

Lumi watched him carefully, her heart beating a little faster as she waited. She had asked the question because she needed to know, but now that the words were actually hanging between them, she suddenly felt nervous about hearing the answer.

Evan slowly turned his body toward her. "No."

Lumi blinked. "No?"

"No." His voice was calm, but there was no hesitation this time. "If all I wanted was a deeper bond with you, I wouldn’t need to marry you."

Lumi’s fingers loosened around the blanket. "Then... why?"

Evan looked at her for a long moment. "Because I want to."

Her eyes widened slightly.

"I want you to be my life partner, Lumi. Not because you’re the only person who can pull me out of a Rampage, and not because I need someone to stabilize me."

He paused, his gaze becoming softer, "Those things matter. I won’t lie to you about that. I do need you when I lose control."

Lumi lowered her eyes.

Evan continued before she could misunderstand his words. "But that isn’t why I proposed."

"Then why did you..."

He gave a faint smile, cutting Lumi’s words short.

"Because somewhere along the way, I started wanting you beside me even when I wasn’t in Rampage. This might sound ridiculous because we have just met."

Lumi looked up at him.

"But... I want to come home and see you there. I want to know what you’re thinking, even when you don’t say it out loud. I want to hear you complain about being bored when you’re supposed to be resting, maybe watch you get excited over some strange plant you found, and probably spend the rest of my life wondering why you keep worrying about everyone except yourself."

Lumi’s lips slowly parted. "You..."

"I’ve thought about it." Evan let out a quiet breath, "I could find another Guide. The Committee could find one for me. There are plenty of talented Guides who would probably be much easier to deal with than you."

Lumi’s eyebrows twitched.

He smiled faintly. "But none of them are you."

Lumi went quiet.

Evan slowly got out of the bed and walked toward her. He stopped in front of the chaise and crouched down so they were at the same eye level.

"So... if you ever doubt me because of what you heard at the hospital the other day, believe me..." He paused, his gaze steady as he looked into her eyes. "I’ve thought it through, and I’m not asking you to marry me because you’re the only one who can stop my Rampage."

Lumi’s fingers tightened slightly around the blanket.

"I know I need you when I lose control. I know what you can do is something no other Guide has been able to do for me, but if that were the only reason, I could simply ask you to stay by my side as my Guide."

He leaned slightly closer, his voice becoming quieter. "But I don’t want you beside me only because I need a Guide."

Lumi looked at him silently.

"I want you because you’re Lumi."

Her heart skipped.

"The girl who slapped me when I was trying to kill her."

Lumi’s lips twitched.

"The girl who still worries about me even after I nearly broke every bone in her body."

"Evan..."

"And the girl who somehow thinks sleeping on that tiny chaise is a perfectly reasonable idea."

Lumi’s cheeks puffed slightly. "That wasn’t—"

A faint smile appeared on Evan’s face. "I know."

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

Then Evan gently rested his arm on the edge of the chaise, keeping his distance instead of touching her.

"So don’t rush your answer because you’re afraid I’ll change my mind." His eyes softened. "I won’t."

Lumi stared at him, her chest feeling strangely warm.

"And if you decide you don’t want to marry me..." He paused. "I’ll still respect your choice."

The words sounded simple, but Lumi could tell he meant every one of them.

She lowered her gaze, unable to stop the small smile that appeared on her lips. "Thank you..."

She shyly met his gaze again.

"Thank you for choosing me..."

"No..." Evan’s voice was soft.

He leaned closer, his hands clasped behind Lumi’s waist without actually touching her, as though even now he was careful not to cross a line she hadn’t given him permission to cross.

"Thank you for ever... being born..."

Lumi froze.

The words clenched her heart painfully, and her eyes immediately reddened.

She tried to hold it in. She really did.

But after everything she had heard from her family, after years of being made to feel like her existence was a burden, those simple words finally broke through the wall she had built around herself.

A sob escaped her lips.

Lumi quickly covered her mouth, but another followed, then another, until she could no longer stop herself.

Her shoulders began to tremble as she lowered her head, tears spilling freely down her cheeks.

"I..." Her voice broke. "I don’t know why..."

She wiped her face desperately, but the tears wouldn’t stop. "I don’t know why I’m crying..."

Evan’s expression softened. He didn’t say anything.

Instead, he moved closer and gently pulled her into his embrace.

Lumi stiffened for a moment before her hands slowly grabbed onto the front of his shirt.

Then she completely broke down.

She buried her face against his chest and sobbed, crying her heart out as though she had been waiting years for someone to tell her that her existence wasn’t something she needed to apologize for.

Evan held her carefully, one hand resting against the back of her head while the other wrapped securely around her back.

He didn’t try to stop her. He simply let her cry.

"I’ve got you," he murmured softly.

Lumi’s fingers tightened around his shirt.

For the first time in a very long time, she allowed herself to cry without worrying about whether anyone would call her weak, useless, or troublesome.

And Evan simply stayed there, holding her until the sobs gradually became quieter.