Chapter 503: Every Moment

Chapter 502: Every Moment

Lyria’s POV

"Unlike me."

I watched Duke Thorncrest a moment, uncertain what I ought to say. There was a sadness in his countenance that I had seldom seen there, and it sat strangely upon a gentleman who so readily made a jest of everything whenever the opportunity presented itself.

I was upon the point of asking why he thought so poorly of himself, when he unfolded his arms and regarded me with an intensity that quite silenced me.

"Tell me, Your Highness, does it displease you that I possess less power than the others?"

"W-why would you th-think that?" I asked, in astonishment.

"An entirely reasonable question, I should think." He offered me a small smile, though it did little to dispel the melancholy in his eyes. "Do you not admire Evander?"

"I d-do."

"Why?"

I opened my mouth, and closed it again.

The question ought to have been a simple one. I had known Duke Valenridge long enough to form an opinion of him, and there were many things in his character that I admired. Yet, when required to name them aloud, I found myself entirely at a loss.

"I..." I paused, blinking rapidly as I searched for an answer. "I d-do not know."

Duke Thorncrest laughed softly.

"An honest answer, at the least."

He pushed himself away from the table, and wandered towards the window, where the night pressed dark against the glass.

"Is it not, perhaps, because he is wealthy? Because he possesses considerable influence? Because he is willing to defy the Crown without much regard for the consequences?"

I frowned at his back.

"Th-that is n-not the only r-reason."

"Of course not." He glanced over his shoulder. "Though I have it on good authority that the Crown both despises and fears Evander. He has made himself a most inconvenient man to oppose."

I could not deny that of Duke Valenridge.

"Y-yes," I admitted. "I d-do admire him for th-that. But th-that does not mean I..."

"Then what of Lucian?" he asked, interrupting me. "You have known one another since you were young, have you not? And he is hardly lacking in either intelligence or influence. Does his considerable standing not render him the more appealing?"

"Can the same not be said of Benedict and Julian?" he continued, not waiting for my answer. "The one has military connexions, and a formidable mind beneath his innocent disposition, whilst the other possesses supporters who would readily come to his aid, and is reckoned the most brilliant man in the whole kingdom."

He turned fully towards me then.

"Tell me, Your Highness. If their power were taken from them, would you regard them differently?"

"N-no," I answered at once. "I d-do not believe I w-would."

"Are you certain?"

"Y-yes," I told him. "I d-do not l-like them, you included, m-merely because of wh-what you possess. Your p-personalities are part of wh-what draws me to y-you. N-none of you treats me as th-though I were a m-means to an end. You d-do not regard my s-standing, and i-instead you s-see me as I am."

"I h-have received k-indness from all f-five of you, Your G-Grace. And b-because of th-that, I have come to u-understand that n-nobles are not n-necessarily cruel simply b-because they possess w-wealth or influence. They m-may be kind. They m-may choose to d-do better."

"It i-is a choice, after all. A p-person may use wh-what he possesses to h-help others, or he m-may use it to h-harm them. The d-distinction lies n-not in the power itself, b-but in the person who w-wields it."

Duke Thorncrest looked back towards the window.

For a moment, I thought he might disagree with me. Instead, a quiet laugh escaped him.

"Such a simple answer."

"I-it is the t-truth."

He fell silent, watching the night sky beyond the glass, and I saw his reflection there, pale and unguarded, a gentleman whom no one had thought to reassure in a very long while.

"Your G-Grace," I began, "is there a p-particular reason y-you..."

"Do you recall the first time we had a proper date?"

His sudden question caught me quite unprepared.

I stared at him, my thoughts abandoning their former course.

"O-our f-first d-date?"

"The occasion on which I asked whether you would permit me to be your partner."

I frowned, searching my memory.

I remembered the date, certainly. By then, I had only lately been granted the title of princess, and the maids assigned to me had made little effort to conceal their contempt. Duke Thorncrest had sent those maids away to fetch refreshments for us. I remembered that much.

But the conversation he spoke of...

I searched again, attempting to recall the words he had used, or even the circumstances in which he had asked me to be his partner.

Nothing came.

Duke Thorncrest let out a soft, sad laugh.

"You do not recall."

I lowered my head.

"I am s-sorry."

He shrugged, as though the matter were of little consequence, but the gesture did not quite conceal the hurt that crossed his face.

"No, it is quite all right. I cannot say I am surprised." He laughed again, though this time the sound was thinner. "I have never been particularly skilled at leaving an impression upon people."

My heart gave an uncomfortable twist.

"Th-that is n-not true."

I took a small step towards him, anxious that he should not mistake my failure to remember one conversation for indifference towards himself.

"A g-great deal has h-happened since then, Your G-Grace. I h-have been endeavouring to u-understand matters of which I s-scarcely knew the existence, and th-there have been so m-many things to r-remember that I f-fear some have escaped me. I am t-truly sorry that I c-cannot recall the c-conversation you mean, b-but that does not m-mean you have l-left no impression upon me."

His expression remained doubtful, and I found myself speaking with greater urgency.

"I s-still remember wh-when we first met. I r-remember the s-stable, t-too, when I p-pretended to be unwell, in the h-hope of avoiding both y-you and Earl H-Hawthorne."

At that, his lips twitched.

"You were not particularly convincing."

"I k-know," I admitted, feeling my cheeks warm. "And the a-attempt ended in c-complete failure."

"An unfortunate turn of events."

"E-entirely unfortunate."

He laughed, and this time there was a little more warmth in the sound.

I could not help smiling.

"I r-remember those things, Your G-Grace. I r-remember more than you s-suppose. I m-may not recall every c-conversation, but you h-have never been a p-person I considered u-unremarkable."

For a moment, he simply regarded me.

Then his expression softened, though the sadness in his eyes did not wholly disappear.

"You need not appease me with kind words, Your Highness. And even if you do not remember everything," he continued, "I do."

"I remember every moment I have spent with you. Every conversation, every little exchange, every occasion upon which you have surprised me." His mouth curved into a faint smile as I gazed upon his beautiful brown eyes. "Even the moments when you merely walk past me without so much as a glance."