Chapter 466: What They Had, That She Had Not

Chapter 465: What They Had, That She Had Not

Lyria’s POV

"You h-had each other," I told him quietly. "D-did you not?"

Jim only stared at me.

"Even amidst a-all you have d-described, there were p-persons here who c-cared for one another, w-when matters grew t-trying. P-parents who remained beside their c-children. Children who p-possessed mothers and fathers, uncles and a-aunts, who stood firm beside t-them. F-friends who would stand b-beside o-one another, come what may."

"I w-witnessed it this very day," I told him. "Those c-children laboured a-alongside the adults, and yet e-everyone about them treated them as though they w-were fashioned of g-glass."

A faint smile touched my lips, as I recalled the tenderness the elders had shown the little ones.

"They were n-never permitted to c-carry more than they c-could properly b-bear, even when some a-qmongst them insisted they were s-strong enough for it. Their b-baskets were never filled to o-overflowing. Some were e-even bid to r-rest, once they had laboured t-too long, much to their own p-protest."

"Every soul there was e-exhausted. Every soul was s-suffering. And yet, whenever the c-children looked towards them, the a-adults smiled, and c-continued their w-work regardless. No child among them was m-made to f-feel a burden."

"You may l-look upon me and say that I was b-born into a world of g-greater privilege. Perhaps, in c-certain respects, you should be c-correct to say it. But p-privilege is not the s-same thing as l-love, nor as c-care. And I m-must observe, once more, that the privilege y-you suppose I was b-born into..."

I paused, then shook my head. What privilege, in truth, had I ever been born into? The only privilege granted me was to be called a princess by the world at large, and not to be regarded as one by the greater part of it. I daresay that could scarcely be termed privilege at all. I remained, in every sense that mattered, a prisoner still.

"Y-you know," I said, my throat tightening as I struggled to force the words out, "it is n-not that I never k-knew such love. Only that it lasted a s-short while. O-only a brief s-season, when I was y-yet a child, did I k-know a love so entirely u-unconditional."

My eyes burned at that.

For a moment I endeavoured to continue, but the tears came before I might prevent them. One slipped down my cheek, followed swiftly by another, and I gave a quiet, mirthless laugh.

"How t-tiresome of me," I said, wiping my cheek with haste.

It did nothing.

Another tear followed, and then another still.

I shook my head, nearly ashamed of my own frailty in that moment.

"The u-unconditional love of a p-parent lasted but a s-short season in my life," I said, my voice breaking despite every effort to stop it, "until I c-chanced upon another s-soul who treated me as though I m-mattered at all."

"Someone who t-treated me as though I were h-her very own," I continued, my lips trembling as I spoke, and I could not but close my eyes a moment, as the memory of Patricia rose within me. "She was n-not my mother by blood. But she l-loved me as t-though she w-were. And for a c-child who possessed so l-little else in this world, such love is w-worth more than a-anything that might be n-named."

I wiped my face once more, though my eyes remained wet still.

"I do not r-relate this, that you might p-pity me. For I h-have others now, w-who care for m-me in their stead. I t-tell you this only, that you m-might understand precisely w-who I am, and w-what has shaped me. Rather t-than regard the t-title, and suppose from it what you will, I w-would rather you s-saw me for m-myself alone."

"But I m-must observe that t-though this is m-my own history, it d-does not follow that y-you thereby know me." I paused, then added: "N-nor do I, in turn, know y-you, nor your p-people."

"And th-this is precisely the p-point I would make," I told him. "For it i-is not I alone whom you must c-come to understand, and c-cease holding under p-prejudice, but also t-those who accompany me. The greater p-art of those you a-and your people now s-shun, for their mere association w-with nobles, p-ossess h-histories of their o-own."

I paused, then added, "Every soul d-does."

"You may l-look upon the most p-pompous of persons, and perceive n-nothing within him but a-arrogance. Perhaps he i-is indeed arrogant. Perhaps he t-truly does wish the whole w-world to know him for a n-nobleman. F-for there are c-certainly those among us who should s-sooner share a chamber with a s-serpent than with a c-commoner. And there are n-nobles, too, who should rather r-remain within their c-comfortable houses than s-soil their own hands in a f-field."

"There are, p-plainly enough, those who have n-no wish whatsoever to understand p-persons such as yourselves. But there are a-also o-others who s-stand willing to help, should they be g-given leave."

"Why, then, m-must we begin from h-hostility?" I asked Jim. "Should it n-not serve us better, were we to l-kower our defences, if o-only a little, and a-attempt to come to know one a-another? Rather than c-clinging fast to our stereotypes and our m-misconceptions, might we n-not first attempt to u-understand one a-another properly?"

Jim’s mouth tightened at this, though the frown upon his brow remained unmoved.

"Yes, I was s-sent here by the C-Crown. Yes, I came in the company of o-other nobles. Yes, this is a c-competition, and I s-shall not pretend it otherwise. But my d-desire to aid G-Gallowshill has n-othing whatsoever to do with w-winning this c-competition. F-or I g-genuinely wish to help y-you and m-more than that, b-because I know s-suffering intimately for m-myself."

"And if I n-now possess some means of l-lessening another’s s-suffering, how c-could I possibly stand idle, and d-do nothing at all?"

I turned back towards Jim.

"A-and now t-that I have told you all this, I ask of you — w-would it be p-possible for us to speak now without p-prejudice? W-would you consent to w-work alongside us, that this t-town might be made the b-better for it?" I asked him. "And a-above all else, w-ould you help u-us to understand you a-and your p-people properly?"