Chapter 406: A Choice of Her Own

Chapter 405: A Choice of Her Own

Lyria’s POV

"The conversation’s died," Helen said firmly. "Stop disturbin’ me patrons, Jacob."

But Olly leaned forward, his eyes fixed upon me with open curiosity.

"The lass ’as been quiet," he said. "An’ I’m curious too. I want ter ’ear what she finks."

Helen shook her head.

"It ain’t a must fer everyone ter give their thou—"

I spoke before she could finish.

"Zachary is quite right," I said.

Helen stared at me.

Beside me, Duke Thorncrest turned his head slowly.

"How exactly is he right?" he asked. His voice was calm, but there was something careful in it.

"The princess is weak," I said, measuring each word as I spoke it.

A few patrons shifted in their seats.

I continued before anyone could interrupt.

"That is a fact. And it should not be a surprise that common people would believe she represents them simply because of her situation. Circumstances do not grant strength. Only the choices made within them can do that."

Duke Thorncrest regarded me for a long moment.

"That is a burden she did not ask for," he said. "And, as Helen said, no one asked her whether she wished to be in that position at all. She was brought into it. She did not choose it."

I met his gaze.

"She does have a choice, though."

My voice remained steady, though I was painfully conscious of every word leaving my mouth and where it might land.

"She has the choice to abandon everything. To leave the palace, leave the competition, leave behind every expectation that has been placed upon her without her consent. And yet she remains."

I paused.

"Perhaps because she is curious. Perhaps because some part of her wishes to discover what it truly means to have what was always denied to her. Or perhaps she has simply not yet decided what she wants and remains not out of courage, but out of indecision."

Duke Thorncrest had a frown on his face.

"She has never been treated as a princess," he said. "She has her own battles, and I doubt very much that she possesses the kind of choice you are suggesting. I stand with Helen. She was brought into this position without being asked and has had to carry it regardless."

I considered his words carefully before responding.

"And is that not the case for most rulers?"

He said nothing.

"The majority of rulers become rulers because they were born to it," I continued quietly. "Were they given a choice? Or was it simply concluded from birth that they would become what they were born to be? Did anyone ask them whether they wished to carry what was placed upon them?"

He looked at me steadily.

And I knew, from the slight change in his expression, that he understood precisely what I was asking and where I was going with it.

He exhaled slowly.

"No," he said. "They were not."

I nodded once.

"I reckon it is the same for the princess. She has not yet made her choice. She is divided. Hesitant, perhaps. And perhaps because once she chooses — truly chooses, with full understanding of what the choice means — there will be no returning to whatever she had before."

The room was very quiet.

Duke Thorncrest’s gaze sharpened slightly.

"Perhaps she believes," I continued, "that if she finally obtains what she desires, she will be able to leave freely afterward. Perhaps she thinks she can step away once she has proved herself, that there is an exit on the other side of all of this. Or perhaps she does not yet know what she wants at all and is simply moving forward because standing still is no longer possible."

I lowered my eyes briefly to the table.

"But whichever choice she makes, or fails to make, she must become stronger. That is not a burden others have placed upon her. It is simply the truth of her situation."

I looked up again.

"She has people who depend upon her, even if they did not intend to and she did not ask them to. She has matters she must learn to navigate that she has not yet learned. There are things she must accomplish, and there are people who will decide her future for her without hesitation if she does not learn to decide it herself first."

I glanced toward Duke Thorncrest.

"So yes. Zachary is right."

Then toward Helen.

"But so is Helen."

The room held itself for a moment.

Then Duke Thorncrest leaned back slightly, his arms resting loosely before him.

"That manner of thinking places an extraordinary amount of pressure upon the princess," he said. "And I still fail to see what was wrong with her speaking up. I quite liked it, for what it is worth."

A few patrons murmured their agreement.

I shook my head gently.

"The speaking itself was not the problem," I said. "It is the consequence that is the problem. The consequence of an action is sometimes not worth the risk of taking it and a person who cannot yet protect themselves or the people around them must learn to consider what will follow before they act. The princess did not. And because of that, other people found themselves in greater difficulty than before she opened her mouth."

If I remained as I was then, there would always be someone more powerful who could take her words, reshape them, and use them against her before she had even registered what was happening.

Helen spoke then.

"I’m wiv Xander on this one," she said, though her tone was gentler than usual. "I’d rather the princess not bother ’erself wiv consequence right now. She should focus on bein’ ’erself an’ take fings as they come. She ’as enough on ’er plate already wivout adding more weight."

Jacob tilted his head thoughtfully.

Olly nodded with some feeling.

"I’m wiv Xander too," he said. "Let ’er breathe first."

A few more men murmured their agreement from around the room.

Jacob, however, remained quiet.

His gaze had settled upon me and then finally, he spoke.

"I’m wiv Lizzy," he said. "It’s mixed fer me, I won’t pretend ovverwise." He rubbed his thumb slowly along the edge of his glass. "I want the princess ter be stronger. An’ I do believe that actions ’ave consequences, whether we intend ’em or not."

He paused.

"Though I reckon she’ll do a better job of it in the future."

A faint smile appeared at the corner of his mouth as he said it.

"After all, no one is above mistakes. We all learn from ’em, one way or anuvver."

He looked directly at me as he said it.

And suddenly I understood.

Jacob knew exactly who I was.