Falling in Love with the King of Beasts

ELIA

Elia was drowning in a wave of pain. And even when the wave receded, pulling back from her shore, the ripples of its brothers threatened, washing up and over her in surge after surge until it seemed like there was no respite at all. Her head swam, screaming, crying, sweating… then it all faded for a blessed second when her body, still aching and primed for pain, could breathe.

She opened her eyes, blinking against the salt on her skin, to find Aymora leaning over her, her face worn and haggard.

"We need to check Elreth's head," she said quietly, rubbing Elreth's arm.

"Where's…where's Reth?" Elia gasped. She sounded like a child begging for their father, but she didn't care.

"He's just taking the head off some other males, he'll be back very soon—so we're going to examine you now, okay?"

Elia nodded, not quite able to take in what she'd said.

Hands invaded her body and she winced with a new flash of pain. But it didn't last long. Then there was a moment of murmured consultation between Jayah and Aymora as Elia braced. The world was beginning to tunnel, to separate from her. Yet she could feel a new contraction coming.

She wanted to weep, but couldn't find the energy.

Why did nothing ever change? Why was she stuck in this same place, this same pain?

"Elia, can you hear me?" Aymora asked and Elia turned to look at her, focusing, trying to take in the words. "The baby's head is beginning to swell," she said, her eyes pained and sad. "Do you… does any part of you feel like you can shift? The cub… the cub needs more room."

It took a moment for the words to sink in, but when they did… Elia felt something inside her snap. Just give way.

Aymora had asked her a question. She had to answer it. But in that moment, as all her worst fears coalesced into one crystal clear image of sheer terror, it was the worst of her memories that assaulted her.

…She was in the traverse, the dark, echoing dust of that place that smelled like dry decay. She could see the light ahead and knew she had to keep walking, had to push forward. But the voices… those eerie, dark, husky voices surrounded her and painted her mind with fear.

"We will take her from you. We will take him from you. You will leave this world utterly alone."

"Come to us. Let us show you the way."

"Join us, let us save you from the pain."

"You are not strong enough for the plan the Creator has for you—we would never ask that of you."

"Take us. Follow us. We will save you from it."

On and on and on. At first she'd tried to ignore them. But as the wind of their passing fluttered her hair and their words were joined by images—pictures of of a baby in her arms, limp and gray. Of a young man—almost Reth's twin—snarling in rage, rejecting her and Reth, both. And then… then her beautiful, vibrant, powerful mate… the image of Reth, his throat cut and eyes rolled back in his skull…

That one had tipped her over the edge and she'd screamed, stumbled, found herself scrambling along the ground as the voices laughed, promising death, destruction, pain… everything but peace. Everything but a whole family.

They would take her mate.

And through that, take her children.

They would shove her into her beast and take her soul. She would never emerge.

And she'd fought. She'd fought so hard, crawling the last feet to the portal where the light shone bright white-blue, where she knew she could escape them.

And that's when they'd told her how it would happen.

They'd told her that she lied, if she hid secrets, that the beast would become her—she'd be sucked deep into it and never come out. She would not fulfill her purpose.

They'd told her she would fail.

And everyone would die.

She would fail because no human could be expected to carry what the Creator asked. Especially the Creator who asked her to carry the secrets alone.

So she would lose everything, everyone she cared about—and the voices would laugh as they took them.

"No!" Elia roared, her entire body shaking. Aymora leaped to hold her down, but Elia wasn't fighting, wasn't trying to leave. She writhed against the truth of what had happened already—and what was to come. "I need Reth! I need him!" she wailed. "H-he has to c-come back."

"He'll be back very soon, Elia. I promise. And when he does, you're going to show him—"

"No, Aymora," she snarled through her teeth. "I need him here now. NOW."

"Elia—"

"NOW!"

As Elia grunted with the impact of another contraction beginning, Aymora nodded to Jayah, who quickly dropped her tools and darted for the door.

"She'll get him," Aymora said, turning back to Elia. "Now tell me, what's happening, Elia. How can we help you? What can we do to reassure you that you are safe to shift? Because unless you do, Elia, you will die. Please, my daughter. What is so frightening that the beast terrifies you so?"

"I… I don't… it's the tonic—"

"No, Elia, it's not. The tonic assists you. It helps you. It doesn't trap you in this body. The strongest urge can overcome it. For you to not be shifting when your daughter's life depends on it… what is holding you back? Please… let me help you, daughter. Please!"

Elia shook her head, breathing deeply as her body began to tighten again. "I can't. I can't."

"You can, Elia. Please, tell me—what makes you believe you can't?"

"Because they told me!" she snarled as her body began to squeeze her in its vice. "If I give over to the beast, I'll be lost forever and they'll all die!"

Aymora's eyes went wide as the contraction hit her like a truck, bowling her over and over, pummeling her into the furs and Elia was lost to it—her fear, her pain, her knowledge that no matter what, she could not give in. She could not lose this battle.

She could not lose her mate. Because if she did, the world would literally end.

But even that thought pressed her down further, made it even harder to breathe. She couldn't… she wasn't enough for this.

Creator forsake her… she wasn't enough.