Chapter 608: Worth It
READER SHOUT OUT: Thank you Janell_Apple for suggesting the song "All for You" by The Light the Heat for one of my playlists. It's SO PERFECT for this scene. If you have a chance, listen to it while you're reading!
*****
ELIA
She felt his grip on her hand slowly relax as he drifted into a doze, and she smiled, laying a gentle kiss on his bicep under her cheek.
She didn't want to sleep. She'd already slept—better than him—and now her entire body hummed with pleasure and with an odd kind of peace.
Her fear of the future had not left her. But having Reth that way, then curling up like this with him… everything felt right.
A niggle of fear poked at the back of her mind—her body was not supposed to be doing this right now. But with careful thought and gentle probing, tensing and releasing muscles, and breathing deeply, she examined her own body for any pain or warning. And there was none.
Praise the Creator. There was none.
She huffed happily and let her fingers curl into his palm. His grip on her had released entirely, but even that small touch of his hand resting on hers felt precious.
She let her eyes follow the long length of his forearm, the lines in it, the veins that popped and showed such strength. The broad back of his wrist, those little bones pushing against the skin… the tendons on the back of his hand standing proud even though his fingers were relaxed.
He was simply and purely beautiful. Her big, strong male, her mate. The weight of him over and around her felt like safety. The soft rush of his breath in her hair felt like love.
He was, all at once, so vulnerable and so strong. So capable.
She was the most blessed woman in the world—in any world—and she knew it. Despite her fear, despite the unknowns to come, she was grateful for this moment. So grateful. Because, at least for now, they were all together. They were in love. And they were safe. Even Elreth.
They were all safe.
Thank you, she prayed, a tear sliding down her cheek to plop onto Reth's arm.
"What's wrong?!" he came awake with a startle, beginning to roll up, to look at her, but she shushed him, and held his arm down.
"Nothing's wrong, Reth. I'm wonderful," she whispered. "Go back to sleep if you can."
"Are you certain? Are you hurting? Is there—"
"I'm fine, Reth. Please. Relax. I'm fine. Elreth is fine. We're all just fine."
He heaved a sigh and slumped back down onto the pillow. She waited in case he would sleep again, but soon he'd pulled his hand back up to comb through her hair, pulling it back from her face.
"I think your hair is my favorite smell," he said a moment later, his voice rumbling in his chest, vibrating against her back. "I mean, other than your desire."
Elia groaned and put a hand over her face. "That is something I doubt I'll ever get used to in this world," she said.
"Please don't," he said simply. At first she thought he was teasing, but he sighed. "Elia, it is the greatest privilege of my life to be the male that ignites desire in you. The greatest privilege of my life to be the male who is given your body. Please, don't ever become tired of it. I never will."
She was so touched, her eyes swam with tears again. Stupid pregnancy hormones.
"Wait until I'm wrinkled and shriveled like a prune," she said, trying to ward off the emotion. She wanted to be happy! "Then you might be glad if I'm not so free with all of this," she quipped.
Reth growled and put his teeth to her neck, clutching her to his chest. He nipped her there and she shivered, goosebumps rising on her arm.
*****
RETH
He was awash with emotion—sated desire, unsatisfied need, love that seemed too big to be contained by his skin. Love too big for a lifetime. He wanted all of it at once, and none of it, so it wouldn't pass. But he knew her words had been a niggle of her fears, and so he told her the pure truth.
"No matter what happens, no matter how long we live, no matter how old we might become—or how wrinkled—I will never stop wanting you, Elia."
She sighed happily, nestling back into his chest. "What about when there's a baby, though?" she said hesitantly. "When we aren't getting any sleep and I have bags under my eyes, and saggy boobs, and—"
"You've already got the bags," he said, then giggled like a child when she made an indignant noise. They finally slipped apart as she rolled in his arms, awkwardly with the weight of her stomach. But he helped her turn and let her rest her belly on his thigh so it wouldn't pull down on her back so much.
When they were finally comfortable and facing each other, he stroked her hair back from her temples and held her beautiful blue eyes with his own so she'd know he was serious.
"I cannot wait for Elreth to arrive, to have both of you in my arms," he said, clearing his throat of the sudden clench of emotion. "I know it will be hard, and different, and… it will challenge us, Elia. But I think we've already proven our love can withstand anything. Don't you?"
She nodded, but her smile was watery. "I think I'm being selfish," she admitted finally. "You already have so little time. I'm afraid of losing more of that with you. Of having to share you… or that I'll be so tired and consumed with this little life that I won't be able to love you like I should. I've seen women who have babies, Reth. Even when they're happy, they're exhausted."
He nodded. "As have I," he said somberly. "I'm not saying we won't meet challenges, Elia. I'm saying the challenges will be worth it."
She stroked his chest with her little fingers, but she was nodding.
"Tell me what is going to make it worth it," she whispered, and he heard the ring of fear underlying the question.
He pulled her in tight, tucking her head under his chin and stroking her back. "Well, I imagine it will be different for you, but for me… seeing her smile at me for the first time," he said, his voice hoarse. "Hearing her laugh. Seeing you hold her with that soft look you get on your face when you love someone… you're never more beautiful, Elia.
"And in those moments when she's asleep and we're alone… those will be precious too," he rumbled. "Even more precious, I think."
"You won't be able to roar," Elia said slyly. "You'll wake her up."
"My daughter will never be afraid of roaring," he said primly. "And with as much as I love you, she better get used to it—"
"Reth! Gross!"
He chuckled and squeezed Elia tighter.
She sighed happily.
"I can't wait to see you hold her," she said after a breath. "That tiny little baby in your great big arms. You said I'm beautiful when I love something, but you're sexy when you're tender. I've seen you with the little ones before and it always makes me want you… oh dear, we are going to have a problem," she said nervously.
"What's that?" he tensed. What had she thought of?
But Elia pulled her head out from under his chin to look up and meet his eyes. "Watching you love our daughter is going to make me want you even more!" she whispered urgently. "She really is going to have to get used to the roaring."
And she looked so disturbed by the idea, Reth's laughter boomed about the cave.