Chapter 367 - To Kill A King
LERRIN
Lerrin was still twisted in the tub to look at her over his shoulder. He'd never seen Suhle look so openly emotional—shock was painted all over her features, along with fear, and something else he couldn't be certain of. Grief?
"Lerrin, you can't," she breathed. "He'll kill you."
Lerrin growled. "Not if our plan works. And even if it goes wrong, I would pit myself against him."
"Lerrin—"
He turned back to his bath, unwilling to see the horror on her face, or consider what it meant. He spoke to the water. "I know you want to see this end peacefully, but you must see if that if he has begun killing his former people in cold blood, he is only one step away from descending on us here. It is crucial that I take the reins, keep control of the conflict—we are outnumbered."
"Yes, but—"
"Do not worry, Suhle, our plan allows me an escape—even if it goes wrong, I will not sacrifice myself to the Cat. I will live to fight another day. But I will be there this time to make absolutely certain he is defeated. I will not leave it in the hands of someone who cannot dominate him if it comes to that."
"But—"
He twisted around again. "Imagine this, Suhle, I will defeat him while my men take the Tree City. Then I will bring everyone together and we will clean out the bad blood. We will return to our lives—your safe life—but with the wolves at the top of the Hierarchy. That feeling you had? It will come back. I'll make certain of it. I will not stop until it does," he finished on an urgent whisper.
She put a hand to his shoulder. "You are… too good, Lerrin. But I cannot—"
"Don't. Don't Suhle. Don't say anything you can't take back. Not yet. Let yourself think on it. Watch." He pleaded with her scent the truth on him, to see his conviction, to know it wasn't driven by his own need for power. But because somehow, without him noticing, she had become the center of his world. She had become the face of his people who needed help. But also, so much more.
Swallowing back the call, the words that would reveal himself when she was so obviously not ready, he pushed on, trying to convince her to stay.
"I'm going to lead the attack on Reth. I will face him, male to male, and take him down personally."
"Lerrin, you can't!"
"Yes, I can. And this is the right way. You and I both know this taunting, these skirmishes, they do not… they are not honorable. That is not how to show the people what is needed, or how I will rule. You were right, Suhle. You were right that I need to show them how this should be done. So I am going to. I will face my enemy. I will outsmart him, I will dominate him, and if he will not submit completely, I will kill him. And then I will lead the rest of the people to a place of strength and honor—one they will not have to fight for. We will take the City with the minimum of bloodshed, I swear it!"
Her brow lined and her hand tightened on his shoulder. "If you don't want the people to fight, why not meet Reth at the negotiation table? Or challenge him for dominance directly, without… without the attack?"
Lerrin shook his head. "It's gone too far now. That's no longer possible," he said, and was surprised to find he grieved the fact—despite the anger that rose right in its wake. "He has taken lives for his own purposes. He no longer fights to the win for his people, he now kills his people to win his own way. I cannot clasp arms with that male."
"But just think, Lerrin. If you were to formally challenge him for dominance, directly, people would have to accept the winner. The throne has always changed bloodlines in that way. You would not be a rebel, or revolutionary. You would just be… Alpha. Clan Leader. The people would accept your dominance and then you could do whatever you wanted. Punish whomever you wanted. You can run anything or anyone you dominate as it should be: with true care and justice."
As if her words created a picture, he saw a foggy version of himself, standing in the market, greeting people—addressing them, calling to celebrate, laughing with the tribes, in fact, all the things he'd… all the things he'd seen Reth do most of his life.
Lerrin shook his head, shoving the thought away.
"No," he said firmly. "I'm sorry. It is a good idea, but it is not possible now."
Her face fell and she dropped it into her hands.
Alarmed, he pushed up out of the bath, the water trailing down his body as he picked up a towel and dried himself off while he spoke. "This will work, Suhle. Don't give up. Give me a chance to show you. I will do what I promise. I will clean the rot out of our people. I will make a safe future for you—"
Her voice bloomed in his head, crystal clear when she sent, it isn't the future that I'm afraid of, Lerrin.
He blinked. What is it, then?
Her face dragged and she closed her eyes.
What if… what if he kills you?
The emotion that arrived through the link alongside those words hit him in the chest like a running bear. His heart tumbled backwards, flipped over and upside down, one moment ecstatic that she truly cared—was devastated at the idea of losing him—but the next, despairing, because even as she let him feel her heart, she was pulling away, retreating.
Terrified.
Wrapping the towel around his waist he stepped up to where she was sitting, but she got to her feet, shaking her head and circled around behind the chair to put it between them.
He stopped in his tracks, unwilling to scare her, but when he was no longer moving, she stopped too. And she faced him, her eyes silvered with tears, but meeting his unashamed.
"Suhle," he breathed. "When you kissed me, I never wanted to frighten you—"
Her hands shook and she fisted them at her sides, her breath shuddering as she drew it in. "You didn't," she said.
Then she sent, I have healed a great deal from my experiences. I have—had found a place of balance. A year ago I was not afraid to mate, Lerrin. Not with the right male. But it seems like ever since the new Queen came there has been an issue among the wolves. A… dark thread in many of their scents. And it has gotten worse since we came here.
I live in fear again, now, when I did not before. There have been moments here…
Lerrin's head jerked back. "Did they touch you?" he growled.
She shook her head quickly. No, it was only… I felt the threat of it. But I have heard of others. And every day it seems there is a cloud over our heads. An evil twisting within the tribe. I don't… I don't think I can stay here, Lerrin. I'm sorry. I wanted to. I wish to. I came to you because I needed your protection, and you gave it.
Always come to me, Suhle. I will always give it. Every day, for the rest of—
She flinched. And I am so… grateful, Lerrin. Truly. You have had every opportunity to harm me if you wished to, and you have not. I am your servant.
"You are not my servant!" he hissed.
Suhle twitched, but she didn't break the eye-contact.
"I only meant I am grateful," she said faintly.
Is that what the kissing was? Gratitude? he sent, his lips twisting.
Her shoulders rose and fell with her breath as she stared at him and clearly considered whether to answer him honestly or not. But she pushed her shoulders back and didn't drop his gaze when she said, "No. That was my heart."
Her heard her breath stop after the admission, and he held his. They stared at each other, her eyes wide and shining with both love and fear.
His pulse pounded in his ears until he couldn't hear anything else. He took a stuttering step closer. "Suhle?"
Wide-eyed, she pushed the chair aside and took a step, right up to his toes. He froze again, careful not to do anything that would scare her away. But she dropped her head to his chest and put her arms around his waist. "Will you... hold me?"
He almost groaned with relief as he wrapped his arms around her.
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