Chapter 373: Childish Mindset

"Kali, you really are exactly like Esther," I say, hugging Kali, who's latched onto me sucking my breasts. She feeds so intensely, almost compulsively, whenever Esther shows up and talks about eating.

Normally she's more restrained, but since yesterday Esther said she'd eat me, and Kali overheard and got it all confused, today she's trying to take everything she can so she won't be "stolen" by Esther again.

"Mommy!" she murmurs against my breast without even pulling her mouth away to speak. She even tugged my shirt up to free both my breasts so she could suck from both. Her hunger is kind of funny, but her jealousy makes me tense.

Because every day, with every behavior like this, I remember what Saluvia said about Kali, and I remember what Esther says about a dragon's instincts. I don't know if Kali inherited instincts like a dragon's, but the fact is she's way too clingy.

"You don't need to drink from both breasts like that, Kali. My breasts aren't going to disappear, and there's no way Esther can drain all their milk. Be more restrained. I don't want you getting sick," I stroke her head, hoping she'll listen and feed more calmly.

I have no idea if she understood, because she keeps drinking from one breast and quickly moving her head to the other, even letting milk drip. But without wasting any, she licks it up as if losing a single drop to Esther couldn't be allowed. I decide to reinforce the warning one more time.

"Kali, slow down or you're going to choke. Esther isn't going to finish off my milk." Most of the time, Esther doesn't even care about my milk.

"..." Kali ignores this, drinking milk excessively. I simply grab her, slipping my arms under hers and lifting her away from me, putting distance between us so she'll pay attention.

"Kali..." I look at her, but her eyes just go to my breasts, and I see she isn't going to hold back or try to moderate herself.

"That's enough. You're going to get sick if you keep going, so I'm not giving you any more milk." Kali looks at me, dissatisfied, as I set her on the bed and adjust my clothes back into place.

"Mommy!! Unfew..."

"You said unfair!! Wait, actually you said Unfew, that's wrong too... who taught you that!?" I ask, somewhat alarmed. I don't know if she understands what unfair means, but she used it in the right context.

"Saluva!!"

"It's Saluvia." She gives up the person she learned it from, and at least it wasn't Esther.

"Saluva!! Saluva!!" I glance to the side where Saluvia is writing some things down. She simply ignores that Kali says her name wrong.

"You sighed. Anything to say?" I ask Saluvia, who clearly didn't want to draw attention or get involved in this conversation.

"Your daughter is quite... worldly," she says something evasive and very neutral, but I decide to pull her further into the subject.

"Yes, she is. She's also quite incredible, don't you think? She used the word [unfair] at exactly the right moment — truly a brilliant little girl! Even at just two years old," I say as Kali sits on my thigh. I bounce my thigh up and down in a rhythm, lifting and lowering Kali, who has fun with it.

"Well, that's a normal learning range for children her age. Your daughter also likes to copy others, but she's been picking up some strange things from Esther. She's practically a mini-Esther, just more cheerful and expressive and less aggressive," Saluvia makes a somewhat clinical analysis.

And in a way, she even downplays the compliment I gave by calling Kali brilliant, saying it's a normal learning range. That offends me a little.

"She's like you in that sense. You express emotions better than Esther." I don't know if Saluvia is complimenting me or insulting Esther. Maybe both.

"What a rarity, you complimenting me," I say, trying not to think too much about what she said before. Of course Kali is brilliant! Maybe not a super genius, but she is a very clever child for her age.

"Compliment!!" Kali says loudly, copying one of the words. I've noticed that Kali usually learns a word but hides it until she can say it relatively well. She's so clever.

"It's not exactly a compliment, but whatever. You seem to be doing better health-wise as well. Kali has become a good emotional anchor for you. While Esther is intense, Kali is spontaneous. She ended up being surprisingly beneficial for your mind."

"But I notice Kali has attitudes very similar to Esther's. Your future with her is—"

"Shhh, you don't need to say it," I interrupt her, not wanting to get into that subject, especially in front of Kali. I've already noticed it, but I'll keep giving her love, and she'll grow up well. I'm sure of it.

"..." Saluvia looks into my eyes as if I'm a fool for ignoring the problem right in front of me, hoping everything will get better in the future.

"The fact that she desperately tried to drink from both your breasts just so she wouldn't leave anything for Esther already makes her jealousy clear. But sure, let's ignore that fact. Hey, Kali, who do you like most?" Saluvia asks Kali.

"Mommy!! Mommy!" Kali answers cheerfully, having understood the question.

"What do you like most?" Saluvia asks another question while I look at Kali, waiting for her answer.

"Milk!! Mommy!! Milk!!" She gives an expected answer, one that makes me smile.

"Esther is what?" I give Saluvia a strange look for asking such a weird question.

"Parasite!!"

"What should happen to Esther?"

"Die!! Die!!" Kali says it in a childish way, but hearing her say that sends chills through me, because for a moment I see an exact reflection of Esther in her. It even makes me stop bouncing my thigh.

"..." Kali stares at me, confused because I stopped moving her.

"Don't ignore this, Evelyn. Your daughter is clever, frighteningly clever. She's still childish like a kid, but she already understands what a compliment is, what an insult is, and partially understands what dying means."

"Obviously she doesn't understand death — she's a child, and that's impossible for her mind — but she's learned that dying means a person disappears. And she just expressed that she wants Esther to disappear. It might be something silly and childish, but it's only silly for now. When she really starts to understand what that means..." Saluvia doesn't finish the sentence, leaving it for me to interpret.

"...I know..." I take Kali's little hands. I know very well that her wishing Esther would disappear isn't good, healthy, or something I want for the future.

"Kali, you can't say that kind of thing. It's very ugly and wrong." She probably learned it from the conversations about war that Esther and I had in front of her.

"You can never wish death on one of your mothers. Even if Esther is mean to you, she's still your mother. If you're mean to her... I'll be sad." I start to cry. Kali's face turns shocked, and she starts crying too.

"N-No!! Sad... Mommy... no!" She tries to hug me, moving quickly toward me, almost slipping off my lap with her clumsy movement, while I look at Saluvia.

"You're a frightening person, you know that, Evelyn? I felt the urge to comfort you. Your capacity for deception really astonishes me." Saluvia stands up, and what she says makes me realize I unintentionally used manipulation against my daughter — something that's become more common than I'd like in my relationship with Esther and is now seeping into my relationship with my daughter.

"But Kali is a baby. Should you really be teaching her to do that? Honestly, teaching Kali to manipulate is pretty awful." Saluvia glances at Kali and then looks at me like a silent warning.

"I wasn't teaching her..." I answer her, hugging Kali, who murmurs disjointed words. I'm not trying to teach my daughter bad or strange things. It just happened involuntarily.

"I know, but she'll learn. After all, she's a baby, and she'll intuitively learn that crying paired with certain words produces positive results for her. You're a good mother, but very... inexperienced. You should read some parenting books. A piece of advice from your psychologist."

"If you want, I can arrange to bring you some. Though your other two bodies could get books if you wanted to."

"By the way, Esther told me to increase the strength of your medication. I don't think it was necessary. I don't know what she wants, but you should clearly ask her about it," she warns, heading for the door.

"Esther's jealousy has grown a lot too. Honestly, you're in a jealousy sandwich. I really wouldn't want to be you." She closes the door, using a tone almost too technical as she says it.

I listen to her footsteps leaving while Kali still says several things I can't quite understand because of her confused murmurs.

Kali looks at me, realizing her attempt to comfort me isn't working, and she seems anxious to do something.

"Haaa..." I sigh, looking at Kali, who's trying to stroke my head, gripping my clothes and shoulder to climb higher, but disastrously can't manage it because of my horns.