Chapter 76 - 75: Can’t I Just Not Eat It?

Chapter 76: Chapter 75: Can’t I Just Not Eat It?

"Motherfucker!!!"

A sudden, furious roar echoed through the woods. Startled, Huai Yu lost her grip on the tree trunk and, with a quick SLIP, tumbled to the ground.

She wondered if there was someone else on the mountain—an Explorer, perhaps, or a member of the Guard Army. Squatting down warily, she fixed her gaze on the direction of the voice. After a long while, however, no further voices could be heard. The only sound came from a patch of rootless bamboo swaying its stalks, its leaves RUSTLING in the wind.

Huai Yu peeked her head out curiously.

Suddenly, another sigh rang out, exasperated and furious. "You pieces of shit! When I first took root here, none of you said I couldn’t! And now you’re ganging up to drive me out? Pah! Do you own this mountain?"

At those words, the leaves across the entire hillside began to RUSTLE wildly in response.

Staring blankly at the bamboo grove, an audacious, unbelievable thought popped into Huai Yu’s mind: was it a person speaking, or the bamboo itself?

Before she could confirm her suspicions, the voice from the bamboo grove spoke again. "Hey, you. The human brat over there. Come here."

Huai Yu’s heart skipped a beat. She quickly snatched up her multi-purpose shovel, clutching it tightly to her chest, and stubbornly replied, "No!"

Following a brief silence, the RUSTLING of the leaves across the mountain grew even more violent, sounding almost like manic laughter. In stark contrast, the previously swaying bamboo leaves were now completely still in the wind. The sheer awkwardness radiating from the grove could be felt from a mile away.

This made Huai Yu feel a bit awkward, too. Still, there was no way she was going over there. Not when this bamboo grove had mutated to the point of human speech, and especially not after it had just been fighting hard enough to shake the earth itself. If even a single root managed to pierce her, she’d be doomed. Her meager flesh and blood wouldn’t be nearly enough to feed an entire grove.

That being said, this was Huai Yu’s first time witnessing a turf war between mutated plants. No wonder everyone treated the Wilderness like a mortal enemy... they really were that formidable!

The Defense Army could probably fend off one or two rogue plants, but if an entire forest started moving, the only option left would be to burn the mountain down, wouldn’t it? The problem was that the very air was saturated with pollution, and plants were the primary force absorbing it. If they burned down a mountain today and another tomorrow, sooner or later, everyone would have to carry oxygen tanks just to step outside.

She pondered this, keeping a wary eye on the grove ahead.

In the blink of an eye, a sharp WHOOSH whistled through the air! With a solid THUNK, something viciously embedded itself into a nearby tree trunk. Upon closer inspection, it was a bamboo leaf, buried so deeply that only its short stem was left visible.

It took Huai Yu a moment to realize that the leaf had struck less than five centimeters away from her hand!

"TSK, TSK, TSK!"

That annoyingly mocking voice rang out from the bamboo grove once more, as if calling a dog.

Huai Yu was utterly speechless. No further consideration was needed. She instantly hugged her multi-purpose shovel tight and trudged over the uneven mountain terrain, panting as she jogged all the way there.

The grove was quite a distance away, and she was slightly breathless by the time she finally stopped in front of it.

"Whatever you need, just give the word!"

She felt a wave of profound bitterness as she said those words. Usually, she was so lowly she practically had to kowtow to the Rose Corridor. When her house had been destroyed, the Rose Corridor hadn’t made a peep, looking oddly guilty about it, which had finally allowed her to act tough just this noon!

But her newfound backbone hadn’t even lasted the day! Now she was up on the mountain, and she’d run into this Uncle Zhu. She lamented why she had bothered craving meat when eating vegetables was perfectly fine. Now, it wasn’t even certain who was going to be eating whose meat.

"Tch. A mere human... Why are you so nervous? If I wanted you dead, would I even need to speak?"

"Yes, yes, of course." Knowing exactly when to yield, Huai Yu nodded repeatedly. "Is there anything you need me to do, big brother?"

The bamboo grove abruptly fell silent. A moment later, the leaves RUSTLED indignantly.

"Why are you talking like that? You reek of fake sweetness even more than my Bamboo Core Tea!"

Huai Yu wondered if he was calling her a green tea bitch.

"Alright then, monster uncle. What do you want me to do?"

If it was petty enough to nitpick her tone of voice, it probably didn’t intend to kill her outright, right?

The bamboo grove swayed slightly. "Come on, carry me down the mountain and find a place to plant me."

Huai Yu’s eyes widened. "Me?!"

Was it kidding? This bamboo grove might be "small," but that was strictly relative. It covered at least a sixth of an acre! And she was supposed to carry it?

The bamboo SNORTED, seemingly disgusted with her. "You don’t seem very highly educated... Sigh. Unlike my former master..."

As it spoke, the roots of the entire bamboo grove suddenly CRACKED and severed. In the end, only a single, rather thick bamboo stalk in the very center remained, bearing a moderately sized clump of roots. The voice no longer emanated from the grove as a whole, but solely from this one bamboo stalk.

"See, I told you you were uncultured! Us bamboos aren’t like these trees. I am a proud member of the grass family!

"There. These are all part of me. Since you don’t look very capable, you just need to carry this one stalk."

Huai Yu was a little speechless, but she was surprised to find that despite its harsh words, this bamboo’s personality was actually somewhat reasonable.

Adopting a gentle tone, she said, "Yes, yes, I’m not well-read... But since I’m going to be doing hard labor, could I take some compensation from these discarded bamboo stalks?"

Seeing its leaves start RUSTLING wildly again, as if it were about to lose its temper, she hurriedly threw in another question. "Um... Uncle Zhu, I haven’t asked for your name yet?"

This seemed to hit the sweet spot. The bamboo gave a haughty snort. "My name is Kuang Biao. Just call me Uncle Biao."

Huai Yu could hardly believe her ears. She wondered what kind of "Wild Hurricane" it was supposed to be, how a plant could be wild, and where that absurd name even came from. But she didn’t dare question it now. Instead, she offered heaps of praise.

"What a great name! It sounds incredibly badass!"

"Of course it is!" Kuang Biao the bamboo shook his leaves proudly. "Have you ever read the poem: ’When my flowers bloom, all other flowers perish’? That’s talking about me! Once us bamboos take root in the ground, as long as we’re given enough time, I can make sure not a single blade of grass grows for a hundred miles around!

"I was born with these domineering traits, I can’t help it!

"You might not be very well-read, girl, but you’ve got a decent eye... You want to pick some bamboo shoots or something, right?

"Go ahead and pick them. They won’t kill you. There’s just a tiny bit of cyanide in them, that’s all."

Huai Yu had experienced more speechlessness today than she had in the entire past month combined!

If it had cyanide in it...

She replied confidently, "I’ll blanch them before I eat them!"

The ancient art of blanching was practically carved into her ancestors’ DNA. Many wild vegetables had strong medicinal properties and needed to be blanched anyway. She could forget her own identity, but she hadn’t forgotten her blanching Skills, which gave her a lot of confidence when it came to food. Besides, the grove had indeed discarded a vast number of bamboo shoots.

This time, it was Kuang Biao’s turn to fall silent.

After a moment, he clicked his tongue again. In a soft, slow tone laced with frustration, he grumbled, "You humans are ridiculous. If it’s poisonous, can’t you just not eat it?"