Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Chapter 255: Join Hands, Kill Jiang He!

Jiang He reached out with his hand and grasped, taking another Doom Shroom from a distance.

The Doom Shroom had quite the temper—it expanded once it reached Jiang He’s palm, its two tiny red eyes flaming up, keen on exploding.

Jiang He carefully felt the energy surge within, and tried to use his spirit to guide, suppress. With that, the slowly expanding Doom Shroom shrank.

“Interesting.”

Jiang He smiled and stuffed the Doom Shroom back into his System Backpack.

Going about it like clockwork, he released his powerful spirit to suppress the many Doom Shrooms, preventing them from exploding. Soon, he had put every Doom Shroom in the mushroom greenhouse in the System Backpack.

With that done, he checked the System Backpack.

A cartoonish icon of the Doom Shroom showed up in the box of the System Backpack, with the number 1380.

“1380 Doom Shrooms… if planted well, they definitely would make a weapon of mass destruction.”

Satisfied, Jiang He turned towards Zhou Xiaolan and asked, “You want to awaken?”

Zhou Xiaolan nodded, but then shook her head and quickly said, “I only need you to give me some pointers, Mister Jiang. I won’t ask for much.”

Jiang He could not help laughing.

He did hear the exchange between her and Wang Jingwu before.

To most, trading pointers for awakening superpowers with giving directions was actually overreaching.

That, however, was not even worth mentioning for Jiang He.

He took out a tomato with a flip of his hand and passed it to Zhou Xiaolan, saying, “I’ve told you that I would reward you for giving me directions. Here, take this tomato.”

Zhou Xiaolan did a double take.

She was rather let down.

‘I’m a young maiden who was dragged out of my sweet dreams in the middle of the night to point directions for you. And this is how you thank me?’

She did not actually want anything, but since Wang Jingwu had promised to take her in as a personal disciple, that was already the greatest reward for being tour guide.

But couldn’t she at least get a ‘thank you’?

Once she recalled Wang Jingwu’s instructions, Zhou Xiaolan realized that tall, handsome and imposing youth was not one to be crossed—she promptly accepted the tomato and forced a smile at Jiang He.

Were all big shots so stingy?

Who would want a tomato?!

She’ll throw it away once he left!

Nonetheless, Jiang He appeared to see what Zhou Xiaolan was thinking. Keeping his smile, he said, “Eat it.”

Zhou Xiaolan: “…”

“Eat it.”

Seeing that Jiang He was being quite firm, Zhou Xiaolan forced herself to open her mouth and take a soft bite out of the tomato…

She was resistant to the idea inwardly.

Still, after she actually took a bite…

Bang!

An eruption seemed to spread within her mouth.

That feeling was exceedingly special and thrilling. It was as if she was not eating a tomato but fire, and the sensation of it unfurling within her mouth was something she could not resist.

She hence finished the tomato in a few more bites.

Wiping the corner of her lips with the back of her hand, her eyes lit up as she exclaimed, “Mister Jiang, where did you buy this tomato from… whoosh!”

She suddenly breathed a jet of flames even before she finished.

In the next split second, Zhou Xiaolan cried out in surprise as she dropped to the ground.

Flustered, she was arching her back, her arms wrapped around before her chest as she exclaimed, “It’s hot, it burns…”

And then…

Her eyes rolled into her head and she fainted.

Scorching flames ignited over her body, instantly reducing her clothes to ashes.

Jiang He let out a breath then…

Swish…

He blew away the ashes covering Zhou Xiaolan’s body and studied it, before breathing a sigh of relief. “Luckily, she awakened those flames so it did not burn her own skin… or a single strand of hair off, for that matter.”

“That said, kid hit puberty with a bang—she’s smooth as she is round.”

Nonetheless, the flames over Zhou Xiaolan’s body were still burning, and her skin was getting red… though it actually had an unusual beauty to it.

Jiang He had to restrain himself against his impulse to take a photo for collection purposes since there was nothing covering her body at all. After all, it was art if it was taken with her consent, and breaking the law without.

And being a law-abiding citizen, Jiang He would not do something that would violate the law.

Moreover, Zhou Xiaolan’s awakening was continuing even though she was unconscious. Being someone with the experience, Jiang He felt that the martial artist would need at least one hour to awaken since she was not even a martial artist.

After all, the Blazing Tomato was not your average item—she would reach Class A after awakening, and it made sense that the process would take longer.

But after several minutes, Jiang He suddenly felt hungry.

It’s already past three and he hadn’t had any supper. Why would he not be hungry?

Taking out his grill set, he baked some Blue King Drake meat, munching on sunflower seeds and having a sip of rank-nine Origin Fluid while he did so.

Soon, over an hour passed.

Zhou Xiaolan, buck-naked and still lying on the ground finally woke up, and slowly opened her eyes.

Her eyes looked lost.

Who am I?

Where am I?

I…

Soon, she came to her senses. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she remembered how she fainted, and she slowly extended her fingers…

Snap!

A small fire ignited over her fingertips.

“Aaaaaaah!!!”

Leaping off the ground, Zhou Xiaolan appeared extremely thrilled and screamed in excitement several times, before lunging at Jiang He and exclaiming. “Mister Jiang, I’ve awakened, I’ve awakened…”

Jiang He was still holding a skewer…

There was no helping it.

He had to worm a hand from around Zhou Xiaolan and eat off the Blue King Drake’s meat. Then, he threw off the steel skewer to free his hand and shove Zhou Xiaolan away, saying, “Miss Zhou, men and women should observe appropriate distances between each other. Please watch yourself.”

‘What the heck?

‘Don’t you see that you’re not wearing anything?

‘And you keep rubbing that pair of humongous things on me—can’t you let me eat in peace?’

Finally noticing her blunder, Zhou Xiaolan screamed again.

Speechless, Jiang He took out a set of sporting clothes from his System Backpack and threw it to her, and she ran off behind a turn to change.

It was a sight that left Jiang He amused.

He had already seen what he shouldn’t see, and…

‘Don’t you have time to dress up three times over if you had the time to run there?

‘Are you trying to give me a naked run show?’

When she was done changing, Jiang He had finished the last skewers. He put away the grill rack and tools, levitated Zhou Xiaolan with a gust of True Qi and flew back towards Xi’an City.

Up in the skies, Zhou Xiaolan’s face was still red.

She could feel the surging fire-type energies in her body, and certainly understood that the tomato Jiang He gave her was extraordinary. Nonetheless, she did not ask since Jiang He was not saying, especially after the awkward scene just now…

After several minutes, Jiang He had reached Xi’an City with her.

Zhou Xiaolan did not follow Jiang He back to Jing Wu dojo, asking instead that Jiang He put her down on a random street.

Jiang He returned to Jing Wu dojo by himself after leaving Zhou Xiaolan. Ji Dongxu told them that supper was prepared and invited both Jiang He and Zhou Yu, but Zhou Yu said, “Perhaps next time, Grandmaster Ji. Minister Wang is recovering and the Martial Arts Department can’t go without me and the load of work needed to be done.”

Zhou Yu did not dare to mention it since Jiang He had something to do, but was now a little impatient after Jiang He was done, and could not wait to fly back to Jingdu City at once.

Soon, a thunderbolt streaked through the night sky as they flew rapidly towards Jingdu City.

***

Meanwhile.

Shennongjia.

A figure descended from the skies on the shores of the Dragoncroc Emperor’s lake.

They were dressed in black robes with a hood.

They were wearing a mask, and a cloud of dark mists swirls around them, hiding their figure and from identifying their gender.

Splash.

The lake split apart and the Dragoncroc Emperor surfaced, its dark-golden gaze scanning the black figure as it growled, “Go back, Saint. His Majesty has spoken: He won’t work with you.”

An androgynous but slightly hoarse voice laughed. “Well, His Majesty is reluctant… but what about you and I?”

The Dragoncroc Emperor was about to refuse when a voice spoke beside his ears, and it promptly laughed coolly. “Why should I work with you? Your cult has suffered serious losses—in what way could you collaborate with this emperor?”

“But do you actually know how deep the roots of the Sky Demon Cult go?”

It was ironic.

Everyone in the Sky Demon Cult called themselves disciples of the Holy Faith, and whoever dared to say Sky Demon Cult before them would be given a beating. Even so, the Saint called it the Sky Demon Cult anyway without any feeling of taboo.

What taboo?

Sky Sage Faith?

It was a joke.

Only those ignorant fools could not bear to have the others call them the Sky Demon Cultists and use the word ‘demon’ on them. That was why they changed everything, and even went so far to rename the ‘Sky Demon Arcanum’ to ‘Sky Sage Arcanum’.

Even the ‘Demon Lake’ was renamed to ‘Holy Lake’.

They had no idea that the extraterrestrial sky demons were simply sky demons and not ‘Sky Sages’, just as the cultivation method they left behind was the Sky Demon Arcanum and not the ‘Sky Sage Arcanum’. Even the ‘Sky Demon Cult’ was a name set by the sky demon’s envoys.

Now, beneath the black robe, a cold voice filled with killing intent spoke, “Dragoncroc Emperor, let’s join hands to slay Jiang He. I will award you daemon weapon after we succeed.”

A golden glint flashed in the Dragoncroc Emperor’s golden pupils then, and it growled, “This emperor shall work with you to kill Jiang He.”

“But this emperor has another condition… every spoil belongs to this emperor after Jiang He is killed!”

Laughter echoed from beneath the black robes at that. “As you wish.”