Chapter 168: "Then I Don’t Want A Love Like That At All"

The question finally made Aren’s expression brighten with recognition.

"Ah. You mean marriage."

She nodded thoughtfully.

"I’ve heard of marriage before. I heard that when two people decide to make babies, they sign some sort of papers. Like a contract. Then they engage in sexual activities, and eventually they produce a lot of babies."

She tapped one finger thoughtfully against her chin, trying to determine whether she’d left anything out.

"But not many people where I came from got married. In some of the towns we visited for supplies, I think they did it more often."

Her expression softened as another memory surfaced.

"But life there was difficult for raising children. It was a desert country, nothing like this place. The deserts stretched endlessly, and growing crops was always difficult. The temperature difference between day and night didn’t help, either. Bomb strikes made everything worse. Often, either the father or the mother would die in a bombing, or they’d die on the battlefield after being enlisted."

A faint, melancholy smile touched her lips.

"Or both would die, like mine."

The words were delivered with such quiet simplicity that Caio’s chest tightened.

"And then the babies would be left all alone to die," she continued, as though she were merely recounting something ordinary, unaware of the tension that had crept into his expression. "So I suppose... marriage wasn’t exactly a preferred activity. At least, the people at my Headquarters didn’t think about it."

She shrugged faintly.

"They didn’t even know whether they would still be alive tomorrow, whether they’d die on a mission or a bomb strike would hit our base. There was no point thinking about marriage, truly."

Only then did she realize how far she’d wandered from the original question.

She looked back at him.

"But... what does any of that have to do with dating?"

Caio had turned to stone.

Every last trace of the relaxed warmth they’d shared in the bath seemed to have evaporated completely.

He didn’t answer immediately. He stared at her in silence, slowly piecing together a realization that should have been obvious to him long ago.

’So...’

’...she isn’t merely innocent about sex.’

’She’s completely clueless about romance and everything surrounding it.’

The realization was so enormous that he needed several seconds simply to process it.

His hands tightened unconsciously around her shoulders as countless strange little clues from the past flashed through his mind — moments he’d noticed but never truly examined, peculiar questions he’d dismissed, innocent reactions he’d mistaken for shyness.

All in all, his mind kept circling one relentless, punishing question:

How could he have missed something so obvious for so long?

’Just how big of a fool have I been?’

’She’s been right here beside me this entire time, and I never once realized she didn’t understand any of this.’

Something painful clenched in his chest.

’...I haven’t even taken her on a proper date yet.’

He drew a slow, steady breath, forcing himself to settle before he spoke.

If she truly knew nothing about dating, then he would have to explain it to her without making her feel foolish for not understanding.

"Dating is... essentially a step for a man and a woman to get to know each other," he began patiently. "It’s a way of finding out whether the other person might be a potential partner for marriage. They go out together. They spend time with each other. They learn what the other person likes and dislikes. They kiss. Sometimes they have sex, too."

He paused, carefully choosing his words.

"It’s all part of discovering whether the other person satisfies the things they’re looking for in a partner, and whether being with that person makes them feel like they want to spend the rest of their lives together."

He gave a small shrug.

"And, of course, making babies can be part of it too."

Aren’s expression grew increasingly troubled as she listened. Her brows drew slowly together while she tried to translate Caio’s explanation into something she could actually understand.

"That sounds like..." She searched for the right words. "A very complicated assessment for a very serious life decision."

"It is," Caio replied at once. "But what I’m trying to make you understand is..."

His expression grew more serious as he studied her.

"When Jordan Marchetti asked you to date him, it means he considers you a potential partner for marriage. But more than that..."

He hesitated, reluctant to put the next part into words.

"...he has feelings for you."

Aren blinked.

"Feelings?"

Caio released a rough breath.

"He’s in love with you."

"...In love with me?" Aren repeated softly, lowering her gaze as the words settled over her.

’Well... Jordan already told me that he loved me.’

’That much I already know.’

After a moment, she looked up again.

"What about you?"

Her head tilted curiously.

"Are you... in love with me?"

Caio stalled completely.

He stared at her for several long seconds, carefully considering the question.

It wasn’t even the first time a woman had asked him something like this.

Women who had convinced themselves they had a hold over him simply because they had managed to climb into his bed had asked it before. Even the woman whose body he was holding now had once sought the same answer.

Every time, his answer had come in the same simple word.

"No."

But sitting here, confronted by those wide, curious eyes, he found himself completely incapable of saying it.

The truth was, every part of him was screaming the opposite answer — an answer that, until now, he hadn’t even dared to admit to himself.

So he slid both hands down Aren’s back and drew her closer, wanting her to feel the seriousness behind every word that followed.

"...I’m stupidly in love with you."

Something in Aren’s eyes seemed to brighten at once.

A radiant grin spread across her face, and when she answered, there was more open affection in her voice than he had ever heard from her before.

"I’m glad!" she said happily. "I’m also in love with you, Caio!"

The words loosened something tight inside Caio’s chest.

It was the answer he’d been waiting for without even realizing how badly he needed it.

A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, brief and restrained, but his expression soon settled back into seriousness.

There were still things he needed to make her understand.

"But there’s a problem, Aren."

His gaze darkened.

"When you’re in love, you have to choose."

Aren blinked, her smile faltering.

"So tell me," he continued, his voice quieter but more serious than before. "Are you in love with me, or with him?"

Her smile disappeared completely as she realized how much the question mattered to him.

She considered it carefully for a moment, then looked up to meet his eyes.

"What if... I’m in love with both of you?"

Caio immediately let out a heavy sigh.

"That’s simply not possible, Aren." He gave a faint shake of his head. "You can’t be in love with two people at once. That’s not how it’s supposed to work."

Her brows drew together, confusion mingling with quiet protest.

"But why not?"

"Because seeing you with someone other than me makes me jealous," he said, his voice rising slightly despite his effort to remain calm. "If he touches you the way I do, I’ll feel jealous. When he kissed you earlier today, I felt like I wanted to tear him to pieces."

He cupped her jaw and tilted her face upward, making certain she understood how seriously he meant every word.

"So understand this clearly, Aren. I’ve never loved a woman before, but I know one thing with absolute certainty. If I’m in love with you, I want you all to myself. And myself alone."

Aren fell silent as the realization slowly settled into place.

’So that’s why Natalia Porto shot me. Even in front of everyone.’

’It was jealousy. She saw Jordan kiss me... and it made her want to hurt me.’

’She wanted to tear me apart... just like Caio said he would feel.’

’She wants Jordan all to herself.’

When she looked back at Caio, her gaze was just as steady as his, but where his expression carried possessiveness and frustration, hers held only confusion — and a quiet, unsettled disapproval.

"But... if you’re in love with me, then... why should you feel that way?"

She hesitated, searching for the right way to explain herself.

"...If I am in love with someone, I would want to protect them and the people they love with everything I have. Not want to tear the people they love apart. Not want them all to myself."

Caio let out another rough breath, feeling his patience begin to fray.

"The love you’re thinking of isn’t the same as the kind of love I’m talking about," he insisted. "When a man is truly in love with a woman, it’s natural for him to become jealous when he sees her with another man. It should work both ways."

"But... does it really have to be that way?" she challenged softly. "Do you have to feel jealous if you love someone?"

"You do!" he stressed. "You’re supposed to feel jealous. That’s how it works, and you can’t even help it."

He dragged a hand through his hair in frustration, trying desperately to find an explanation she would understand.

"Let me ask you this. What if you saw me with another woman? What if you saw me touching her the way I touch you? Kissing her the way I kiss you?"

Aren’s gaze darted away as she tried to picture the situation in her mind.

"...But... would kissing her make you happier than kissing me?"

"Of course it wouldn’t!" His voice rose before he forced it back down. "But that’s not the point. It’s a hypothetical situation. Just try to imagine it. Wouldn’t you feel hurt? Wouldn’t you feel even the slightest bit of hatred toward me or that woman?"

The more he explained, the deeper the confusion on Aren’s face became.

"But... if you’re happier being with her..." Her voice grew smaller. "...then why would I hate you for that?"

Caio went very still.

He opened his mouth, ready to argue, but she continued before he could find the words.

"Why would I want you all to myself if being with someone else makes you happier?" she wondered aloud, as though trying to solve a very difficult puzzle. "If I’m in love with you... and I truly am... the only thing I want for you is to see you happy. Whether you’re with another woman or with me."

Then the confusion in her expression faded, replaced by something quieter and more troubled.

"But if the kind of love you’re talking about requires me to hate you for being with someone else... if that sort of love drives me to do whatever it takes just to make you mine and mine alone..."

She looked directly at him, her resolve unmistakable.

"Then I don’t want a love like that at all."

Silence settled between them.

For a long moment, Caio could do nothing but hold her gaze.

He watched the quiet resolve hardening in her eyes, watched how steadily she met his stare without retreating or wavering.

She wasn’t merely saying those words casually.

She genuinely believed every word she’d said.

The realization unsettled him more deeply than any heated argument could have.

When he finally spoke, his voice trembled faintly.

"...So you’re really going to date him."

"I intend to," Aren replied with a quiet nod. "Not only because I gave him my word, but because I genuinely want to."

She leaned closer, her voice softening.

"Can you accept that?"

A dry swallow worked down Caio’s throat.

Painfully.

"I can’t."

Aren’s gaze lowered, disappointment and sadness mingling in her expression.

"I understand."

There was no point trying to force him into something that would hurt him.

Yet before the silence could settle again, Caio spoke once more.

"Can you do me a favor?"

She looked up immediately.

"What is it?"

"Give me some time to think about it," he said, his voice barely above a breath. "And when I have my answer..."

He hesitated.

"...will you consider dating me?"

That was enough to bring a small smile back to her face.

"Of course! I’d love to!"

She reached for the shower gel, pumped a generous amount into her palm, and turned toward him again.

"Shall I help you bathe? The water is getting colder."

Caio gave her a quiet nod.

He watched as her small hands began working the gel into a soft lather against his chest.

He tried to maintain his usual composure throughout, but beneath the calm exterior, his thoughts were already spiraling.

He already knew what awaited him.

That night would be sleepless.

And perhaps the nights that followed would be the same.