Chapter 158: We are Human Afterall

The party only grew louder.

John blasted music throughout the cabin with his hand on the radio as Leo, June, Rin and Mella were dancing on a table. Aster was screaming victory after beating three grown men in a drinking contest.

Kaelen was dominating the women’s bracket, slamming mugs down like she was born for it. Marcus and Victor were passed out in a chair. Sophia was yelling at Daniel for spilling something. Arti was hand in hand with Graham as she adored her new ring.

And Maddy... Maddy was gone.

Not physically; she was still in the cabin, but mentally?

She was gone.

She was slumped against the wall, cheeks flushed, eyes half‑closed, mumbling something about "stupid drinks" and "stupid people" and "stupid butterflies".

Roy stared at her as she caught his attention mid-conversation with Kieran, Tanaka and Liam.

Graham walked up beside him. "Roy."

Roy sighed. "No."

"Yes."

"Why me?"

Graham raised an eyebrow. "Because she listens to you."

Roy opened his mouth to say, ’Why can’t one of the girls take her?’ but he stopped himself before the words even formed.

Kaelen overheard anyway. "I can take her."

Graham shook his head. "No. You’re needed here. Keep the party alive."

Kaelen shrugged, grabbed another drink, and immediately went back to dominating the contest.

Roy groaned. "Fine."

He turned his back to the initial conversation he was in and excused himself as he walked over to Maddy.

She looked up at him, eyes unfocused. "Roy...?"

"Come on," he said gently. "Let’s get you home."

She tried to stand.

She failed.

She tripped over absolutely nothing, stumbled forward, and scraped her knee on the uneven floor.

Roy caught her before she fell again. "Alright. That’s enough."

He crouched down and lifted her onto his back.

She didn’t resist.

She just rested her head against his shoulder, arms loosely around him, breath warm against his neck.

Roy stepped out into the cool night air, adjusting his grip so she wouldn’t slip.

The party roared behind them, with laughter, shouting, clinking glasses and music vibrating through the wooden walls. But outside, the night was quiet. Cool. Soft. The moon hung low, painting the path in silver.

Roy adjusted Maddy on his back.

Her arms hung loosely around his shoulders, her cheek resting against the side of his neck. Her breath was warm and uneven, smelling faintly of alcohol and cherry petals from Land’s End.

He started walking.

The gravel crunched under his boots. The wind brushed past them. The distant sound of waves hummed like a lullaby.

Maddy mumbled something.

Roy tilted his head slightly. "What?"

"How... do you drink that much..." she slurred.

Roy smirked softly. "I didn’t drink."

She shifted on his back, her lips brushing the edge of his ear. Her voice dropped to a whisper.

"You can’t get drunk... can you?"

Roy didn’t answer.

Because she was right.

And because hearing her say it so close, so soft, made something tighten in his chest.

She continued, her words drifting like fragile threads in the night air. "Why... are you unable to trust people...?"

Roy’s steps didn’t slow as he walked her to London; he didn’t know where she lived, but he knew that she lived in London, so he thought that by the time they got to London, she would have sobered up and told him the way back to her home or preferably gotten off his back and walked herself.

Her voice wasn’t sharp, It wasn’t mocking, It wasn’t drunk rambling.

It was her honesty. Painfully honest.

"I’m like that as well..." she whispered. "But I keep up a mask for the world... so I don’t stand out as an individual."

Her cheek pressed more firmly against his shoulder as she spoke. "We’re all liars... after all."

Roy felt her words sink into him.

She’s drunk... but she’s telling the truth. Her truth. And maybe mine too, and probably everyone on this world too.

She shifted again, her fingers curling slightly against his chest. "It’s as if we’re connected... by the darkness inside us... we absolutely don’t want others to look at us for who we truly are, but we still yearn for it..."

She wasn’t wrong.

He didn’t say it aloud. He didn’t dare.

But inside, the thought echoed: We are alike. More than I want to admit.

Maddy’s voice cracked softly. "I never did like myself..." she whispered. "But I never hated myself either. I accept my defects."

Roy felt her breath tremble.

"I don’t hate you... Roy. I hate your eyes."

His chest tightened.

Her voice dropped even lower.

"I hate myself. It feels like your eyes can see right through me and see my trueself, and I hate that."

Roy closed his eyes for a moment, walking blindly forward.

She’s hurting as she speaks, but saying this actually can make you feel better, she hides what she doesn’t want others knowing about her; she hides everything.

Just like me...

He didn’t speak.

The night was too quiet, her words were too light and his emotions were too loud.

She shifted again, her lips brushing his ear as she whispered, "I can see it in your eyes... you know..."

Roy’s breath caught.

"And what exactly can you see in my eyes?" he asked quietly.

She answered without hesitation. "That you want to find out."

Roy blinked. "Find out what?"

"That you want to understand people... even when you pretend you don’t."

Roy didn’t know how to respond.

He didn’t know how to breathe.

He didn’t know how she could see that something he never said, never showed, never admitted.

She continued, her voice drifting, fragile and raw. "I’m trying to be respectful... I really am..."

Roy frowned slightly. "Respectful?"

She nodded against his shoulder, her cheek warm on his skin. "It’s just... your eyes..."

Roy’s heart skipped. "My eyes?"

"They’re... magnetic."

Roy nearly stumbled.

She whispered again, softer: "I’m sorry... and not sorry... at the same time..."

Roy exhaled shakily.

She’s just drunk talking. She’s vulnerable as we speak. She’s honest, maybe too honest when she is drunk, and she’s leaning on me like I’m someone she trusts, but I don’t trust the words or actions of a drunk person, and I am not foolish enough to assume she has feelings for me.

He tightened his grip slightly so she wouldn’t slip.

The path stretched ahead; it was quiet, silver and endless.

Her breath warmed the side of his neck while her words lingered in the air.

And Roy walked on, carrying her weight, her honesty, her darkness and her warmth all of it on his back.

There are somethings that should not be said out loud; even if they were spoken, no one really wants to hear them. People don’t crave the truth; they want comfort, validation, and lies wrapped up nicely in words that won’t disturb their fragile little worlds.

But this woman wants to break that; she wants to speak, know and see what things are for what they are truly. She doesn’t want lies, but... she wants something more...

Roy swallowed, as his throat felt dry.

Roy didn’t know where any of this would lead; he didn’t know what she would remember tomorrow; he didn’t know what he was supposed to feel.

But he knew of one thing: He wasn’t going to say the truth out loud.

Not tonight at least, or maybe not ever.

Not to her. Not to anyone.