Chapter 1907 - 1906 - Fallacy

He had friends at school. He remembered them.

It was a small school but decent. There were no scandals nor any dark secrets, it was just a school. It was normal.

'It was normal' could be engraved on his tombstone for his whole life!

Once he graduated, his life was rather smooth. He got into a college that promised to get him a degree without bankrupting him. He was able to side step the scandals and financial collapse that came later.

He did not choose to serve in any armed force as he never had any doubts about his combat ability. Killing people was just not in him.

There was, however, something wrong. In college, he was able to be with people but not like in high school. He could not seem to quite connect with them as he had before.

It was only as he watched other friends act toward each other that he felt a misstep in his soul. It was like a piece was missing. He felt like he could not grasp how they did it. Relationships were beyond him entirely.

Oh, he wanted to have one. He was not made of stone, but actually starting one was where he was stuck. He had gone on a few friendly dates in high school and that was where it stopped.

Even the parties were everyone and their brother could get laid by throwing a stone in any direction, he stayed by the wall. He looked at the hedonistic to platonic range of actions and felt outside.

Still, people were not unkind to him. He did have fun. It was just that he took no action to initiate. Eventually as did happen to many, not just to him, he graduated and drifted away.

He found work mind numbing. In that, at least, he did have that in common with his coworkers. He could join in complaints but when it shifted to personal topics or going out for a night on the town, it was like he could not summon the words to agree.

Eventually, those invitations dried up too. He had no dates, no friends, and the frustration gnawed at him beneath the mask he began to show the world.

He just wanted to have what everyone else took for granted! Why was it so easy for them but not him? He was not ugly nor massively overweight. He was not hot tempered nor was he too clingy.

He was trusted to get his work done without fault and he was counted on! He was promoted, not as far as others but there was progress!

So why, as his hair grayed and the wrinkles grew on his face, that everything felt so empty. He came home to his studio apartment with no books, no movies, and just a TV, bed, and futon.

He retired with little fanfare. A company wide email and a party where very few even knew who he was. He left the world at large and retired.

No one noticed. No one reached out to catch up. Even his old friends from high school, who bragged online about what happened at a recent class reunion, never thought to check on him.

His family had all passed away. There was no one left that actually knew him at all!

"WHY?!" The word was ripped from him one night as he could not sleep. He felt the thud of his heart in his ribcage as the cheap pajamas did not fit quite right.

He looked at his milky eyes he could barely see in the mirror of the pale white bathroom. He could not remember the last time anyone called his name. He was nothing!

He was always nothing! No one cared! Why did no one reach out?! Anger rose and he remembered the sudden pain. It spread from his chest to left arm and breathing became difficult.

He tried to reach for his phone but it was back at his bed. Even the small studio became an impossible to cross chasm. His body fell as the pain became worse.

He was dying. He was going to die and not be found until months later! His accounts were pragmatic and set up for auto pay. So long as the payments went and accounts were settled, no one would care to even check!

There was no one! Not one single face or name came to him that he was close to! He wanted to cry but darkness closed in and his shallow life came to an end.

When he awoke in the sun dappled grassland, he thought it was a dream. It was just a passing moment until the darkness came back.

"Welcome, brother. I know you are confused but your life is not over yet." A gorgeous golden skinned woman smiled down at him. Tears formed in his eyes and he realized it was not over!

He had another chance!

It was a bit of a blur after that as he learned what he was and what had happened. Celestial Cultivators studied the world. He also quickly understood his life had a hard limit. He knew what it was.

Something called the Sun Tier of the Heaven Realm.

He did not even get to be an Immortal! A few thousand years, maybe 10 thousand if he was lucky, and it would be taken away. He would be taken away forever! He was only alive a few centuries and it felt like it had flown by.

He kept begging his seniors for any hope of finding a way forward but they all calmly told him there was none. A few shared his frustration but they all were Immortals! They had millions of years to live!

He refused to give in and eventually found himself alone again but not ignored. They pestered him about what he learned. They annoyed him with their constant requests to report back.

He eventually grew to loathe them. Worse, the inferior idiots stumbling around just drifted into Immortality, the Divine, and sometimes the Eternal Realm! They would all leave him behind!

He did not want it to happen again. He would not be forgotten! He would not be discarded just because it was the way it was. His obsession made him explore things no one sane would.

He did learn interesting things. He learned that the world had a darker side largely left alone because the prices were too steep. Karmic retribution being just one of many things preventing it, yet he did not have to worry about that.

Celestial Cultivators were outside of karmic debt! It was a trade off for their fixed lives so he dove into it whole heartedly. He did horrific testing and still hit walls he could not overcome.

It was then he realized one step left. Once his body died, his soul would be taken to the spirit world for revelation and a final adjustment before his personality was dispersed. It was his last chance so he looked into everything about making bodies.

Unlike his previous experiments, those were rather mundane but here too, he found a darker path that finally led him to an answer! It obeyed the rules!

He thought he had found a way but it had gone wrong. Heaven and Earth tried to kill him so he damned them! He damned them all for trying to erase him!

The darkness inside him was brought forth and he admitted the truth. He hated them all! He hated how easy they all had it! He hated how satisfied they found the world to be! It was not to him! It never was satisfying to him!

He would take it all! It would all finally be for him alone! Damn them all!

[So, you really are an idiot.] A voice shook him as he turned and saw a strange man. His body was barely intact as emerald eyes glowed at him. The man did not move but fear rippled in his soul.

The man looked around and then back at him.

[I always wondered. I mean really, what could drive someone to accept killing all of existence to live. I know we had monsters that saw people as nothing, yet you make them ants beneath your heel. Trillions of lives and now who knows how many more just because you were afraid?] He flinched at those words.

The man moved and he became less imposing as a rather plain young man in a button up white shirt and black slacks. He had a tie loose around his neck and a feeling of connection formed at that moment.

Yet, the dark brown eyes looked just as piercing as the emerald had been.

[Can't talk? Well, I will speak then. You were afraid of people. You were afraid to connect. I am not sure why but it seems like you were content with life to stay the same but it doesn't do that. Life never stays the same. It is never easy, and no one just gets it. We all struggled.] The man made him angry. He wanted to kill him but his power was waning.

He felt something was off. The man smirked at him.

[No grand deaths for you. No cataclysmic explosions or unforgettable light shows. You wanted to consume and now you will be consumed. That was the trick you did not plan for. Your own creation being used against you. You have been taken in already and this is just the final moments, or did your life flashing before your eyes not register?] He wanted to deny it. He wanted to scream but the man's words hit true.

Tears formed and he wanted to beg. He wanted to live!

[You got it wrong from the start. You assumed living means taking. It is why you held back. You did not want to lose what you had but that is not living. It is not even surviving. It is just existing. You assumed you were being forgotten but you turned away. You chose to isolate, not them. Now, you die to the very power you created. Even if I join you, it is over.] The man then became a massive dragon that loomed over him.

He screamed internally No! No! NO! NO! NO! NO!

He tried to call on his power but the world began to fade. It was going gray and black at the edges. Fear flared but his body would not respond.

NOOOOOOOOOO! I DO NOT WANT TO DIE!

THe words tried to leave him but his lips were empty and his mind broken. He then saw the vortex. It was closing in on him! He heard the wails but they were no longer tortured. They were rejoicing.

They were welcoming him into oblivion. He screamed and clawed at the golden surface of his memory but it was all for naught.

He looked into the pitiless emerald eyes of the dragon and knew it had come. Not just death but the end of everything!

He wailed but no one heard. Only the ghosts of his victims to bear witness and those emerald eyes. Why? Why couldn't he live forever?

Why was he the only one forced to die?