116: Breakfast

Eris had been expecting to jump right into the conversations with Kull and Konderlacht and Dzhemehal and anyone else they deemed as important as soon as she woke up to deliver the multiple pieces of high-impact news. Wonders now targeting five times the normal amount of people, there being twelve more Obelisks, presumably all with their own assortment of Echoes inside, Vojemala herself being in one of them, and then the real kicker of potentially using the Skeleton Key. The very tool that allowed Eris, Bailey and Elmas to escape this Obelisk- and using it to jump right into a different one. An intense conversation, to be sure. But that wasn’t what was happening right now.

This was a surprise, but a very, very welcome one.

“Pass the salt?” Eris asked. Jaxie, from beside her, did so with a wide smile. Eris used the small shaker to dust the hash browns on the side of her plate, gave an experimental taste, then nodded. On Eris’s other side, Dad let out a noise that definitely would have sounded inappropriate if not for the context of eating.

“Gods, this is incredible. I haven’t had a breakfast like this in twenty years.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kerrot,” Ophelia smiled sweetly while nibbling on a piece of bacon. “But if you want a really good breakfast, then you should visit Gary on the Culinarian floor of the Hub in sector Tol.”

Addison, closer to the end of the table, quickly swallowed down a bite of her eggs. “Oh, absolutely. He has an M-Tep that’s to die for. Gives a pretty crazy Vitality bonus too.”

Dad raised an eyebrow. “M-Tep?”

Tatum cleared her throat, a glass of orange juice in her hand. “Maple-Turkey-Egg Panini. Half of Marrix goes to him for that damned thing.”

“Sure, but you’ve gotta try Poppy’s signature,” Rachel grinned and bumped her shoulder against her girlfriend’s. “That would change your life.”

Ophelia blushed a bit and rolled her eyes in amusement, but clarified.

“I can make anything, like other Culinarians, but I specialize in baking desserts and treats. My most popular dish is a Pineapple-Cherry Upside-Down Caramel Crumble Cake.”

Alex, Jaxie, Eris and Dad’s eyes all went wide. Eris’s mouth started watering, and Dad visibly swallowed.

“Good lord, I think I gained five pounds just hearing the name,” he said.

Rocky laughed loudly from the other end of the table, holding a forkful of eggs just barely away from her mouth. “Oh, absolutely. If I wasn’t Gifted, I’d absolutely weigh twice as much. It’s actually unfair how good the food made by a Culinarian tastes. I mean, seriously! I eat six times a day, even when I’m not hungry. The food just tastes that damned good.”

“Aw, fuck!”

Everyone at the table glanced over to Bailey, who was the one that exclaimed the swear. The blonde just had a faraway look in her eyes.

“I just realized- I’m not Gifted anymore, so I’m actually gonna have to work out to stay in shape.”

Meghan snorted, despite the fact that her attention was solely focused on trying to balance a piece of bacon atop a spectral wolf’s nose. “Hah! You’ve gotta do exercise! What a fuckin’ loser- ow, what the fuck was that for?”

Meghan had been elbowed in the side by Claire, who rolled her eyes and shovelled down another bite of scrambled eggs. Meanwhile, Eris tried not to make her laugh too apparent while taking another bite of her own breakfast. To help, she set her free hand down on the table just beside Jaxie’s, then interlaced their fingers together. Alex, who was on the other side of Jaxie, took a side glance at that but then turned her attention to the full table.

“It’s nice that the Syndicate’s letting us have breakfast together.”

“Not just that- they’re loosening up the schedules in general,” Grace clarified from her seat at the breakfast table holding way too many people. “From what I was informed, it seems like Konderlacht designated from nine in the morning to nine in the evening as our work time. Whether that be crafting for us, training for you five-”

Grace gestured towards Jaxie, Alex, Nima, Meghan and Claire.

“-or anything they want Eris to do, then it looks like it can only be required within that time. As for what we do for the other twelve hours, it’s up to us.”

“It’s like a full-time job, except twelve hour shifts instead of eight hours, we don’t get weekends, we don’t get paid, and there’s the everpresent risk of painful death by the Hollow.” Meghan took a bite of bacon, which Eris was pretty sure was the piece that fell off the wolf’s nose and onto the floor. “Sweet.”

“It’s still technically better than what they had us doing the last few days,” Hima offered. “I mean, I think the only time yesterday that Eris wasn’t actively doing something for the Syndicate was last night when she was asleep. Even then, she was copying Rachel’s skill and- oh, did you talk with Vojemala again? And did you get the mending skill?”

Eris nodded. “Yeah, I got Mender’s Touch. It started at level one, and took two hundred and fifty points to level up, then twenty-five hundred to get to level three. So, it looks like any skills I copy, if they can be levelled, follow the same times-ten business that all my other ones do.”

“What’s it do now?” Rachel asked, obviously curious. That made sense, it was her skill, after all. Eris simply opened up the skill in her mind and started reading.

Mender’s Touch {Active} {Level 3}

While handling a damaged craft, you may permanently reduce the craft’s maximum Durability by {6%} but slowly repair any physical damage on the craft for as long as you continue handling it. When used on a craft made by you, the maximum Durability loss upon use is reduced to {3%}.

“Each level reduced the Durability penalty by two percent, and one percent for crafts I make. Theoretically, that means if I get it to level six, I can repair with zero penalty at all.”

“Possibly,” Tatum said, “but that would take like… three million points of Desire? Following the same times-ten rule, and assuming that you can’t evolve other people’s skills.”

“But it’s good enough right now for her to use it on whatever artifacts the Syndicate wants,” Addison said. “What about Vojemala? Did you talk to her again?”

Eris nodded once again. “Yeah, I did. However, that is a very different conversation.” Eris sighed and pulled her silver pocketwatch from her pocket. “Right now, I’d really like to appreciate the… forty-six minutes before I give the superintendent a brain aneurysm.”

The table went quiet. Jaxie just squeezed Eris’s hand a little tighter with a smile. “Hmm, I’m not sure that forty-six minutes is enough time for me. I think I need at least four hours with my little Mango.”

Addison raised an eyebrow. “Mango?”

”Because she’s too sweet,” came the communal response from Jaxie, Alex, and Bailey- moments before Jaxie tilted her face down just enough to capture Eris’s lips in a gentle kiss. Out of the corner of Eris’s eye, Alex seemed to take a sudden interest in the sausage she was nibbling. Not that the Artificer could focus on it when Meghan was giving over-exaggerated kissy-faces at the same time that Rocky pretended like she was gagging. Both of them were slapped by the tall, pale, silvery blondes of Claire and Addison, respectively.

It really was a tragedy when Jaxie finally pulled away- consoled only by the gentle hand that kept hold of Eris’s. Eris could just imagine the goofy smile she must have had painted on her face.

“Your new necklace looks nice,” Jaxie said, looking downwards. Eris rolled her eyes.

“I think you’re actually saying that about my cleavage.”

“Two things can be true. And I also heard that you levelled up yesterday and got some… interesting new skills.”

“Uhh… yeah. Things are kinda moving really fast.”

“That’s okay,” Jaxie smiled and squeezed Eris’s hand. “You can tell me everything tomorrow on our date.”

“Huh?!” Eris’s eyes widened and Jaxie chuckled.

“Yep. I’m taking you on a breakfast date, tomorrow morning, seven-thirty. Just us.”

“R-really?”

“Mhm,” Jaxie nodded. “We still haven’t had a single actual date since we got here, at Marrix. I think it’s time to change that.”

“I- umm…” Eris flushed with red, suddenly feeling fidgety and giddy in her chair while the anxious smile crawled ear to ear. “I’d like that.”

“I’m glad to see you two are happy,” came the voice from Eris’s other side. With a full blush, Eris turned to face Dad, who was smiling sweetly with his eyes fixed on where Eris and Jaxie were holding hands. Eris cleared her throat.

“So, how are you liking Marrix? Was the train ride here okay?”

Dad’s sweet smile instantly faded. “They, uhh… they didn’t tell me anything- they just said it was an important matter. I thought one of you had died.”

Eris pursed her lips awkwardly. “Yeah- uhh… sorry about that?”

“You also lied to me about being an Artificer, and I only found out after you went missing for two weeks.”

The anxious frown turned into a full-body wince as Eris curled in on herself.

“...Sorry.”

It was Dad’s hand coming to rest atop hers and giving a reassuring squeeze that made Eris look back at her father figure. He was, in a word, ‘fresh’. It was actually a little bit weird to see. He usually had more than a bit of a scruff to him, but clearly the Syndicate had given him access to the luxury treatment.

His dark brown hair was trimmed, his chin only had a stubbly shadow from the first growths after a fresh shave, his clothes were fresh replacements, and even his wheelchair had been upgraded. The one Eris had made for him back in Kelshiir had been primarily wood but was still sturdy enough to get the job done. This one seemed to be formed from aluminum with a cushioned back, and there was even a cupholder in one of the arms.

“I know why you tried to keep it a secret, even from me. I’m just glad that you’re okay.” Dad’s smile was soft like warm butter, which made a part of Eris go all gooey inside. That went doubly true when Jaxie gently squeezed Eris’s other hand and leaned her head down to rest on Eris’s shoulder. Of course, Dad then chose that moment to throw the oil onto the fire.

“I would like a bit of clarification on both of you having children with complete strangers, however. The Syndicate provided zero elaboration.”

Eris and Jaxie both blinked. “Uhhh…”

“Both of you are pregnant?” Dad asked, the disapproval in his voice clear. “That seems incredibly irresponsible of the Syndicate, especially for you, Jasmine. If you’re going to be a warrior, trying to fight while eight months pregnant is an atrocious idea.”

Eris started to eek out. “Well, you see-”

“I thought you were aware of the Phallus Philters that both of them ingested in order to give them functional penises,” Nima said matter-of-factly. That made Dad falter.

“Uhh… pardon?”

Bailey stepped in this time.

“To try and put this in the most innocent of ways, Eris and Jaxie were less ‘receiving’ and more… planting the seeds themselves.”

Dad just blinked. “You… you both…” His gaze flicked down for a single heartbeat in confusion. “Huh?”

“Awkward….” Tatum quietly whistled and fixed her gaze on her food.

“Oh, by Hennel’s hairy nuts, can I just say it?” Rocky rolled her eyes. “Both of them drank potions to give them dicks, and Jaxie got in some Syndicate-mandated foursome to try and knock up four different chicks because the potions normally don’t do that, but this one had been made by Eris so it had all kinds of Lust magic. Eris drank a regular one, but it seems that all the Lust stuff she naturally has changed a bunch of stuff. I mean, she’s got the biggest schlong I have ever seen. Both of them are huge, but Eris is swinging around a real cum hose-”

“Rocky!” Grace yelled. “For Seven’s sake, you’re talking to her father! Show some class!”

The Leatherworker raised an eyebrow. “If I was a parent, I’d be proud to know that my kids were the most well-hung people in the city- and probably the continent. Yeah, the knocking-up-strangers part might be a teeny bit subjective, but surely the horsecocks can only be a good thing.”

Dad’s face was about as red as Eris’s felt.

“I get the point, can we please stop talking about my daughters’ genitals?”

“I mean, they’ve been inside half the people at this table, so-mmmph!”

Rocky was cut off by Addison apparently deciding enough was enough and using one hand to firmly cover the short, scruffy brunette’s mouth. As the two struggled, Tatum raised an eyebrow.

“So, what’s this business about your talk with a dead Artificer giving Konderlacht an aneurysm?”

The curious expression only lasted a single moment before it was slapped away by a flying bacon strip colliding with her nose.

“I believe the lady said that work talk wasn’t allowed at the breakfast table,” Bailey wiped the grease from her fingers with a napkin. Meanwhile, Addison squealed and pulled her hand away from Rocky.

“Gah, did you just lick my hand?”

“I’ll lick more of you, if you want to try covering my mouth with something else…” Rocky winked. Of course, Tatum was also glaring at the blonde with big, poofy hair.

“You did not just throw bacon at me.”

Bailey smirked. “Take me to court. You don’t have any proof.”

Tatum lifted one of the sausages from her plate and held it menacingly with a grin. “You try that again and I’ll hit you with this sausage so hard you won’t be worrying about your weight anymore.”

In almost perfect synchronicity, both Meghan and Rocky chirped through a laugh.

”I think she’s used to dealing with hard sausages!”

Both girls stared at each other. ”Jinx! Double-jinx! Triple-jinx! Quadruple-”

Addison groaned into her palm as the two girls continued their chain of uncanny unison. “By Grihm, now there’s two of them.”

Of course, Eris’s attention was then diverted to a forkful of eggs being catapulted by Bailey towards Tatum. It missed, but still prompted a mumble from Grace.

“Please don’t throw the food…”

That was promptly ignored when Tatum retaliated with her prepared sausage, accidentally knocking over Hima’s drink with her elbow in the process and making the shorter girl yelp as her and her breakfast were covered in orange juice. Hima responded by grabbing a fistful of the mixture and dumping it down the front of Tatum’s shirt- right into the darker girl’s cleavage. Eris wasn’t even quite sure who threw the next bit of food- all she knew was that side of the table quickly erupted into chaos as breakfast became ammunition. Likewise, Meghan and Rocky seemed to settle their own synchronicity dispute by joining in the food fight and chucking breakfast rolls at each other. Naturally, the people sitting beside them were placed in the line of fire.

While Claire ducked underneath the edge of the table to shelter herself, Eris lifted her plate and scooched away from the unfurling disaster. Dad did the same, quickly rolling his seat backwards which helped him avoid a flying croissant that plinked off of Charlotte’s armor who stood off to the side with an exasperated expression. Dad’s eyes were wide. Eris chuckled and chewed the end of a sausage link.

“Bear witness to the Syndicate’s best and brightest.”