Chapter 129: ¹²⁹: It’s okay to not be strong

My thoughts suddenly stilled as I heard his question. For a few seconds, it was as if everything around me had gone completely silent.

I slowly pulled my head back, enough to look at Damian’s face. He was looking down at me, his expression unreadable, his eyes fixed on mine as though he was patiently waiting for an honest answer.

I couldn’t say anything. My mind, which had been caught in a strange rush of panic and painful memories until now, suddenly came to a complete stop.

His question echoed inside my head. Do you still love him?

I felt my tears continuing to escape from the corners of my eyes, slipping down my cheeks despite my attempts to hold them back. My fingers curled into fists on their own, my nails pressing into my palms as Harry’s face appeared in my mind once again.

For a moment, I found myself remembering the person he used to be. Or perhaps, the person I had believed him to be.

I remembered the times when we used to stay together, when we would go on long drives without having any particular destination in mind. We would simply drive for hours, talking about everything and nothing, laughing at the most meaningless things, completely carefree as though the rest of the world didn’t exist.

I remembered how comfortable I had once been around him. How easily I had trusted him. How naturally I had believed every word that came out of his mouth.

He used to tell me how much he loved me. How much he cared for me. And I had believed him, I used to believe his every single word.

I remembered the times when he would do anything I wanted just to see me smile. Sometimes, I didn’t even have to ask for something twice. If he knew something would make me happy, he would simply do it.

Back then, I had thought that was what love looked like. I had thought I had found someone who would always stand beside me.

Someone who knew me better than anyone else. Someone who would never willingly hurt me. There were even moments when we would simply sit together without saying anything at all. We didn’t need words then, just having him beside me had once been enough.

I could still remember the strange comfort I used to feel whenever I sensed his presence near me. I had never imagined that one day, that same presence would become something I would hate.

My chest tightened as another memory pushed its way into my mind. The moment when that same person had pushed me towards my death. The moment when his hands had betrayed everything I had ever believed about him.

And then the moment when he told me he had killed my father. The man who had trusted him, the man who had welcomed him into our family, the man who had once called him his son.

How could someone who had once stood beside my father turn around and take his life?

And then there was the moment when I had seen him with Romana; my best friend. The person I had trusted almost as much as I had trusted Harry.

The moment I had found them together was something I knew I would never be able to erase from my mind.

Everything I had built my life around had collapsed one piece at a time.

I swallowed hard, feeling another wave of emotion rise inside me. But as painful as those memories were, one thing had become clear to me.

I didn’t love Harry anymore.

Whatever love I had once carried for him had died the same day he pushed me towards my death.

"I don’t love him anymore, Damian!" I finally said. The words came out firmly this time. I looked directly into Damian’s eyes, and for the first time since he had asked me that question, I didn’t feel uncertain about my answer.

My heart still hurt, my memories still haunted me, but that didn’t mean I wanted Harry back. It didn’t mean I still loved him. "My love for him died the same day he pushed me to my death."

I took a deep breath, trying to steady the emotions rising inside me. My hands clenched even tighter, my nails digging into my skin. "The Athena who used to love him was killed by his own hands." My voice became quieter, but there was a strange certainty behind every word. "She doesn’t exist anymore."

I paused for a moment, forcing myself to face the truth I had perhaps been avoiding all this time. "I am no longer her." I closed my eyes tightly.

The tears that had gathered in my eyes finally slipped down my cheeks, and I let them. My vision had started blurring again, making the beautiful field around us almost disappear behind the tears. I took another breath, trying to regain control of myself.

"Then why are you crying?" Damian’s voice reached me again.

I opened my eyes. His hand moved towards my face, his fingers gently wiping away the tears that had gathered on my cheek. I looked at him silently for a moment, surprised by the gentleness in his gesture. "Why are you wasting your tears thinking about the past?"

I shook my head slowly, trying to get rid of the tears that threatened to fall again. "I am not crying about him, Damian." My voice trembled despite my attempt to keep it steady.

I took a deep breath, trying to soothe my burning lungs before continuing. "I am crying about the life I had once thought I had."

I looked away for a moment, my gaze falling towards the endless field of flowers before us.

Everything around me was still so beautiful.

The flowers continued swaying beneath the gentle wind, completely unaware of the storm that was raging inside me.

"But in just some moments, all of that flew away in a fluke. Everything I had believed in once had been nothing but a tuft of smoke."

My lips trembled as I struggled to put the feeling into words. It was difficult to explain the pain of realizing that the life you had spent years believing in had never truly been what you thought it was.

I lowered my gaze, ashamed of how easily I had trusted them. "I am crying, thinking... how could I have been so blind?"

"You were not foolish, Athena!" Damian’s words pulled me out of the spiral of self-doubt that had begun dragging me down again. "Everything that happened to you was not your fault. It was the fault of that bastard who didn’t even hesitate to throw away his own dignity just to achieve his evil motives."

I stared at him through my tear-filled eyes, barely able to process his words. Damian moved closer, carefully holding me upright when he noticed how unsteady I had become. His hand moved from my shoulder to my face, gently turning it until I was looking directly at him.

"You want to cry? Cry," he continued, his voice steady. "But don’t cry thinking that everything that happened was your fault. Cry to let out the pain you’ve bottled up inside you until now."

His words struck somewhere deep inside me. "No, Damian. I am fine..." I tried to shake my head as I raised my hands and cupped his, attempting to pull them away from my face.

My heart was beating faster as I listened to him. It was as if some part of me desperately wanted to reject everything he was saying. As if there was another voice inside my head insisting that I didn’t deserve to hear those words.

That I wasn’t innocent. That I was responsible for what had happened. After all, hadn’t I made mistakes? Hadn’t I been the stupid one who trusted the wrong people? Hadn’t I failed to protect the people who had depended on me?

Those thoughts had been haunting me ever since I had opened my eyes in this pack, and every time I tried to push them away, they returned even stronger.

But Damian didn’t let me pull away. His hands remained where they were, and his eyes held mine firmly enough that I couldn’t turn my face away.

"No, Athena." His voice was gentle, but there was an undeniable firmness behind it. "You are not fine. After everything that happened to you, anyone in your position would not have been fine. And you know what?" He paused, his expression softening slightly. "It is normal."

My lips parted, but no words came out. I could only stare at him. I had spent so long convincing myself that I wasn’t allowed to break. That I had to stand straight no matter how much everything inside me hurt. That being the heir of a pack meant I had no right to show weakness. But Damian was looking at me as though none of that mattered.

"It is normal to cry after suffering through so much, Athena," he continued, his voice growing quieter as the tears in my eyes became more erratic. One tear followed another, sliding down my cheeks faster than I could wipe them away.

"It doesn’t make you less strong." His thumb gently brushed away another tear. "And it doesn’t make you a bad daughter or a bad leader of your pack if you take a pause to heal yourself."

My breathing grew heavier.

"You’ve been through something devastating, Athena. You don’t have to pretend that it didn’t leave a mark on you just because you think everyone expects you to remain strong."

His words seemed to reach the very place I had been trying so desperately to hide. I could feel something inside me beginning to loosen. The emotions I had locked away for so long were no longer staying where I had buried them.

My throat tightened, my chest hurt. And yet, for the first time, I didn’t feel like I had to apologize for it.

"Damian..." My voice broke. I lowered my eyes, but he gently kept my face lifted.

"Damian, I am a terrible daughter!" The words finally came out of me in a broken voice. I felt my entire body tremble as I finally said aloud what had been haunting me nonstop.

The words that had been ringing inside my ears from the moment I had opened my eyes in this pack.

"I am a terrible person." My tears continued falling, and I no longer bothered to wipe them away. "Maybe after all the foolishness I have done..." I took a shaky breath, struggling to continue. "Maybe it is true that I never deserved to be the Alpha."