Chapter 121: ¹²¹: panic

I looked at her as we stood beside the bed in the new room. "Thank you for everything you are doing for me, Mother Elena," I said, grasping her hand in mine. My fingers tightened around hers as the emotions I had been holding back began to surface again. "I don’t know what would have happened to me if not for you."

I looked down, my voice growing heavier. "You saved me not only once, but twice already. I will be indebted to you all my life."

She smiled at me, and somehow, that gentle smile patched something inside me that I hadn’t even realized was torn. My eyes immediately filled with strange tears, and I quickly blinked, trying to keep them from falling.

"I have told you, I am just like your mother. Saving my own daughter, how is that something for you to be indebted to?" she said softly.

She lifted her hand and gently caressed my hair. The simple gesture made something inside me loosen. I leaned into her touch, closing my eyes for a moment as I took in the warmth and comfort it offered. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had made me feel this safe without asking for anything in return.

"Now take some rest," she said, lightly tapping my cheek. "You must be exhausted. We will have our first session for your pain tomorrow morning, hmm?"

I nodded at her, a slight smile appearing on my face. Just her presence made me feel safe, comforted in a way I hadn’t expected.

"Good night, Mother Elena," I whispered.

"Good night!" She gave me one last smile before stepping outside and closing the door behind her.

I smiled back at her until the door finally shut.

The moment I was alone again, the smile slowly disappeared from my face.

I sat down on the bed, carefully placing my hand over my abdomen. A dull, throbbing pain pulsed beneath my palm. There was still a sharp, stinging sensation around my wounds, but it was nowhere near as intense as it had been before I lost consciousness.

Whatever Mother Elena had done to ease the pain must have been extremely effective. Compared to the agony I had been experiencing earlier, this was almost bearable.

I leaned back against the headrest, finally wanting nothing more than to sleep after everything I had seen.

But the moment I closed my eyes, everything started crashing down on me again.

My breathing, which had slowly calmed down because of Mother Elena’s presence, suddenly became uneven.

Romana’s voice, her words, everything I had seen in that room. They kept repeating inside my head over and over again.

"No..." I clasped my hands over my ears as if that could somehow block the memories out.

"Stop..."

I buried my face into my knees, no longer caring about the strain the position was putting on my wounds. Right now, the pain in my abdomen didn’t matter.

The only thing I wanted was for those voices to stop. "Quiet... quiet!" I whispered desperately, squeezing my eyes shut.

But nothing changed. The memories continued playing inside my mind as if someone had trapped me inside that moment and refused to let me escape.

I curled my toes against the mattress, trying to steady myself as I struggled to draw in a proper breath.

But my chest felt too tight. My breathing grew faster and more frantic, each breath feeling less satisfying than the one before.

"Please..." I whispered, my voice barely audible. I tried to gasp for air, but my body refused to calm down. Nothing was working.

I felt myself trembling strangely as I struggled to get any air into my lungs. I didn’t know what was happening to me.

Why couldn’t I breathe?

I gasped again, my hand clenching into my hair as I tried to shut my ears even more, desperately wishing the voices would stop.

But nothing happened, everything kept repeating. Harry’s confession about killing my father, romana’s sweet nothings while she was entangled with Harry.

Everything came rushing back at once, each memory overlapping the other until I could no longer tell what I was thinking and what I was remembering.

It was driving me crazy.

"Athena!" I heard a voice calling my name suddenly amidst all the echoing voices. Someone was trying to reach me. I felt a pair of hands pulling mine away from my ears, forcing me to lift my head from my knees.

"Athena, look at me!" I heard the voice again, but I couldn’t decipher who it belonged to. My vision was hazy, and my thoughts were even worse.

I desperately tried to gasp for air, my chest rising and falling too quickly as if my body had forgotten how to breathe properly. It felt as though thorns were being thrust down my throat and into my lungs every time I tried to draw in a breath.

I couldn’t make it stop. I couldn’t make myself calm down, no matter how much I tried.

Just then, I felt the touch on my hands vanish.

Before I could understand what was happening, I felt my face getting dunked into something cold.

Ice-cold water touched my face.

I gasped instinctively, finally feeling air rush into my lungs as I struggled to open my eyes.

"Athena, here. Drink some water!" This time, I recognized the voice. It was Damian’s.

I struggled to open my eyes properly while I felt him rubbing my back, his hand moving steadily as he tried to calm me down.

"It’s okay. Breathe slowly," he murmured, his voice sounding much closer now.

I finally managed to open my eyes, turning my head towards the side where I could feel Damian’s presence.

"Here, drink some water," he said again as he moved the glass closer to my lips.

I closed my eyes as the cold glass touched them, then struggled to take a small sip. The cold liquid ran down my throat, soothing some of the strange dryness and burning sensation that had settled there.

I swallowed slowly, taking another small sip before letting my head fall back slightly.

Damian placed the glass back onto the nightstand while I turned my head to look at him through my hazy gaze.

He was sitting beside me, his expression filled with worry. One of his hands was supporting me from behind while his other hand moved gently through my scattered hair, smoothing it away from my face.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. I could still feel the remnants of my panic inside me, but the suffocating feeling had finally begun to fade.

"I am sorry," I whispered when I saw the distressed look on his face. My voice was weak, barely more than a breath. "I am giving you so much trouble."

A tear slipped from the corner of my eye as I said that, and I felt a slight constriction near my heart. I didn’t want to become another burden for someone who had already done so much for me.

"It’s nothing, Athena," I heard him whisper. His voice was soft, almost reassuring, as though he didn’t want me to blame myself for what had happened.

I wanted to say something else. I wanted to apologize again. But my eyelids were already becoming unbearably heavy.

The exhaustion that had been lingering inside me finally began pulling me back into darkness.

At some point during the whole ordeal, my fingers had tightly clutched the fabric of Damian’s shirt without me even realizing it.

Now, that grip slowly loosened.

My breathing gradually became calmer as I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness once again.