Doomsday Wonderland

How long would it take for one to spend his money after he arrived in a new world?

Although the situation varied for different people, in Lin Sanjiu’s case, it was four seconds. Or to be more precise, the money had been spent before she even opened her eyes in the new world.

“Hey,” a husky voice that suggested excessive smoking rang out from a very distant place. Something was prodding at her body, and her consciousness gradually came together again.

“Oh, finally you are awake,” the husky voice urged, “May I ask when did you enter this room?”

Adrenaline pumped through her veins and her body reacted the moment she peeled her eyes open. She flipped herself upright in a swift motion, bashing her head straight into the wall at the back. Her brain went dizzy for a moment from the collision, and she could see stars exploding in her vision.

“What is wrong with you?” the hoary voice asked, slight surprise lacing her tone, “Do you happen to have PTSD?”

‘What?’

Lin Sanjiu raised her hand and rubbed the back of her head, trying to ease the throbbing pain. The stars slowly left her vision, giving way to the appearance of the incomer to enter her sight. The person standing in front of her was a tall, buxom, dark-skinned woman dressed in a cerise dress with golden threads. She had a head of long, satiny black hair fashioned into a thick braid that rested on top of her humongous breasts.

Bowing her body, the black-skinned woman inspected Lin Sanjiu from head to toe. The corners of her lips were drawn down in a frown. She opened her mouth, and the familiar hoary voice came out along with strong fumes of cigarettes that enveloped Lin Sanjiu like a rank whirlwind, “Hey, answer my question. How did you get in here?”

Lin Sanjiu did not reply. Instead, she turned around and scanned her surroundings.

Right now, she was half-squatting, half-sitting in a cramped, white cement room. The interior was so small that the distance between the ceiling and floor could not even fit a ten-year-old kid. Aside from a roll of bedsheets and a pillow crumpled in the corner of the tatami floor, there was nothing else. Lin Sanjiu had no choice but to lower her head and tuck her legs in to give way to the plump, dark woman that filled nearly half of the room. It seemed like the room was going to explode.

“Where…where am I?” Lin Sanjiu asked as she tried to find the most comfortable position for her to stay still in this claustrophobic room. “And who are you?”

The woman’s face sank.

She brandished the cane in her hand—the one she used to poke Lin Sanjiu earlier on—and deftly wedged herself out of the room, revealing a door that did not quite suit her size. Lin Sanjiu had no idea why but the scene reminded her of a fat otter trying to cram through a tiny hole that she watched on a documentary back in her homeland. The woman took a long drag on the cigarette and cursed lowly, “F*ck! Another hophead.”

“What?” Lin Sanjiu crawled to the door. “Wait, hold on a sec. I didn’t take any drugs. Are there drugs in this world? What kind of drugs? Well, anyway, you know what? Forget about it. I just got transferred to this world. May I ask if this the Heaven Underworld?”

When the grand prize insisted on sending her to one of the twelve worlds, she had picked the Heaven Underworld. Besides, she figured that it would be much safer and better for her to look for more information about the Bamboo Forest first before going there.

Her consciousness faded for a second, and when she opened her eyes, she was already in a new world.

The dark-skinned woman was busy thinking. She crouched down and stared fixedly at Lin Sanjiu while her long eyelashes fluttered above her large eyes.

“Then, I guess it’s a misunderstanding.” Her face broke into a smile. A wisp of smoke gushed out from her red lips, poisoning the air with its low-quality chemical scent. “Yes, you are right. This is the Heaven Underworld. You really know how to pick a place to land, don’t you? What a lucky young woman.”

Befuddled, Lin Sanjiu tilted her head and said, “Huh? Lucky?”

The woman was tickled pink by her response. She smacked the door frame as she let out a peal of laughter. “Leaping worlds is just like rolling a dice—you’ll never know what you’ll get. If you are lucky enough to land in a safe place, then you are good. However, if the goddess of luck decides to leave you alone, then you are screwed, especially those who get transferred into this underworld. Then, you will need some extra luck. An incident happened a few years ago when the railway system had just been established. A hapless soul suddenly appeared out of nowhere on the railroad and got hit by a passing train before he even got the chance to open his eyes to see the world. Do you understand now? You are one real lucky b*stard.”

‘So…is she implying that I should thank her because I didn’t get rammed to death by a train?’

“So, where is this place?”

The woman cleared her throat and placed the wrinkled roll of paper close to her lips. She nipped on the toxic stick and pulled a long drag from it. After the smoke diffused into her lungs, only then a smile broke across her face. She stretched out her chubby arm that housed countless of gold bracelets. “This is the Lost Dog Pod Hotel, and I’m the boss here. My name is Dali.”

‘Will guests really come to stay in this hotel?’ Lin Sanjiu lowered her head and looked at the hand.

It occurred to her that her opponent was not asking for a handshake because she lay her palm upward rather than facing it sideways. Lin Sanjiu could clearly see the ring on her thumb, the red string that circled her wrist, and her palm print.

When she raised her head, she saw an impatient expression on Dali’s face as she waved her pudgy hand. “Hmm?”

“Huh?” Lin Sanjiu asked blankly.

Dali rolled her bulging eyes at her. Then, she said, “You used my room. Don’t you think you should pay for it?”

“What? Hold on a sec, this isn’t right. I just transferred here not long ago and it was just a few seconds…” Looking at Dali’s face, Lin Sanjiu stopped midway through her sentence. She rubbed her temples and let out a sigh. It seemed to her that Dali would not let her go easily if she refused to pay for the stay. “How much is it?”

“Well, I’m an honest businesswoman, and I never cheat my guests. First things first, what are you gonna use to pay me?” Dali said with a smile, “If you are paying with the red crystal, then you just need to give me two medium-sized ones.”

‘That’s considered expensive even in the Twelve Worlds!’ Lin Sanjiu thought inwardly.

Dali threw her cigarette away and took the two medium-sized red crystals from Lin Sanjiu. She knocked them lightly and kept them in the fanny pack strapped around her waist. Dali did do justice to her claim as an honest businesswoman. As she retreated from the room, she said to Lin Sanjiu, “It’s ten o’clock in the morning, so you can stay until this time tomorrow.”

Lin Sanjiu hunkered down and squeezed through the tiny door that looked like a doghole. The moment she was in the corridor, she found that it was as narrow as the room. The corridor was about three to four meters tall and 100 square feet wide. There were several white cement walls that partitioned the area neatly into multiple passageways. Each wall was dotted with numerous doors in a random pattern. Sometimes, she would find three doors installed on a side of the wall while the other side was empty.

‘Was the planner drunk or something?’ 

At the far end of the corridor, a male posthuman moved clumsily with a toothbrush in between his teeth. There was music coming out from a room nearby, and the person inside was singing along with it though he could not even carry a simple tune. There was also a young girl who poked her head out from a room above Lin Sanjiu’s head, seemingly begging her friend to run errands for her.

No matter what kind of hardship or calamity befell humanity, humans would never give up a single chance trying to find a way to survive and prevail.

If Nüwa had been here, she would probably say, “The more unwanted something is, the harder it is for you to get rid of it.”

Lin Sanjiu stood and observed the different kinds of people that were staying inside this pod hotel in fascination. She turned her head and realized that Dali had already walked far away. She quickly went after her and yelled, “Boss!”

“Yeah?” The woman with the rotund appearance turned around, holding a notebook in her hand.

“I’m new here. Can you tell me more about this place? I heard you said that this is the underworld zone?”

“Room No. 225,” Dali glanced at her notebook before replying, “Yeah, this is your first time here? This world is divided into two zones: the heaven zone and the underworld zone. Hmm, I should go and check on room no. 225…but it’s only amongst the posthumans, so you won’t be able to find a wall or anything like that around.”

“Why do you have to split it into two zones?”

“Well, have you heard of this sentence before? ‘Hierarchical and discriminatory distinction will exist so long as humanity exists’,” Dali replied without turning her head, “In short, the heaven zone is different from the underworld zone. You can just stay in the underworld zone. After all, you can find everything you need here.”

Lin Sanjiu followed behind Dali. Having paid two red crystals, she was not going to let the payment go to waste. “Then, do you know where can I check and send messages? And do you know the location of the Consular Officer Association?”

“Wait a sec,” Dali simply replied. She stopped and rapped on the door above her head.

“Do you know about the Mokugyo Encyclopedia Forum? The huge chain store that has a branch in almost all the twelve worlds?” The stack of golden bracelets on her arm jingled, but nobody came to answer the door. Dali shouted, “Hey, it’s check out time!” Then, she turned to Lin Sanjiu and said, “You are taller. Can you help me open the door and see if there’s somebody inside the room?”

“No, it’s empty inside,” Lin Sanjiu replied. Unlike her room, this room looked like a washing machine tub.

Dali then closed the door. She turned the enormous emerald ring on her finger to one side and hit the metal hinge in the corner of the door. Like a movie effect, the door bent a little and shrunk into her ring.

There was nothing on the wall right now. It was as if the room had never existed before.

When Dali said it was time for the guest to check out, it meant that she was going to keep the room back into her ring. Lin Sanjiu began to understand the randomized pattern of the distribution of rooms. “So, you just pull a room out from your ring and slap it on the wall when you have a guest?”

“Yes. That’s why I’m so surprised when I saw you because I don’t remember opening a room for you. By the way, what was your question again? Oh yeah, the Consular Officer Association in the Heaven Underworld isn’t open to the public.” Dali crossed out the “225” from her notebook and continued speaking, “So if you want a visa, you can go to the Mokugyo Encyclopedia Forum. All Consular Officers have posted information about visas on sale there.”

Lin Sanjiu let out a sigh. From the surface, it seemed like she had made the right choice to come to the Heaven Underworld. At the very least, she could use the money to get the information that she wanted.

“Do you know how to go to the Mokugyo Encyclopedia Forum?” she asked, “Can you show me the—”

Before she could finish her sentence, an explosion erupted at the far end of the corridor. A gush of scalding hot air blasted into the corridor along with the shrapnel of wood from the door.

“Tsk! They just can’t give me a break!” Dali scolded angrily. She kept the notebook away and strode towards the room that was on fire. A layer of perspiration had formed on her forehead, and Lin Sanjiu was certain that she would not have the mood to answer her question right now. As expected, Dali pointed towards her back and yelled, “After you get out from the entrance, ask around yourself.”

“Okay, then I’m leaving now. Thank you for everything and be careful!” Lin Sanjiu shouted back at her.

The cause of the fire was normal in the twelve worlds. A guest was testing his newly-acquired Special Item and accidentally burned down half of the room. In the end, the boss of the Lost Dog Pod Hotel confiscated the Special Item as compensation for the damage done to the room. Both Dali and the guest were dissatisfied with this solution as they felt they were being taken advantage of.

By the time she had settled everything, the boss remembered the easy money that she had earned that morning and the tall woman who had yet to return after giving her the money.

“I did tell her not to go through the back door, didn’t I?” Dali played with her braid as she mumbled, “Or did I not?”