Don’t Pick Up Boyfriends From the Trash Bin

Chapter Ch124.1 - Raising a Big Cat in the Apocalypse (3.1)

translator: baumkuchen editors: glitterypanda, serefina

It was already time for him to punch in his card and clock off work. The person on the next shift would be here soon, so Chi Xiaochi needed to leave as fast as possible.

It was just that he had a live animal on him, so he didn’t know if he would be able to pass the scanning checkpoint at the door.

061 said, “Don’t worry, just go straight through.”

Since his Liu-laoshi said so, Chi Xiaochi didn’t worry any longer, wrapping the baby leopard in a soft blanket and placing it into his bag, taking off his sterile coverall, then walking out the nursery and locking the door behind him. He went to the changing room and changed back into his original pants and warm windbreaker, punched in his card at the door, and then calmly walked out to the scanning station.

The system’s scan showed: Employee Ding Qiuyun, normally clocking off work.

Items on him: Keycard, credit card, communicator, sketchbook, pencil, motorcycle keys, and an electronic handwarmer in the process of warming up.

Chi Xiaochi got past smoothly.

Anyways, from tomorrow onwards, he wouldn’t need to come to work anymore, so he didn’t need to give any explanation for the disappearance of the baby leopard.

As he straddled his motorcycle, he began to think about his next plan of action.

He could run to the relevant news companies and reveal everything he knew to the public, possibly reducing the number of deaths.

However, he had no way to prove that what he was saying was true, so there was a high chance he would be called insane and chased out.

But since he knew, he couldn’t just do nothing.

He went to a nearby large shopping mall, found a resting area, picked up his communicator, and spent 20 minutes writing up a post about how the world would end at 3:00 am tomorrow. After writing in everything he could, and giving it a once over, he posted it.

After posting it, he said, “Liu-laoshi, help me bump up my post.”

061 invaded the forum system, gaining unauthorised authority and fabricating an untraceable IP address and any identifying information on the data level.

Chi Xiaochi then tried to contact Ding Qiuyun’s comrades-in-arms, but not a single one picked up.

He called the operations room to ask, and found that he’d just so happened to call during the monthly emergency drill, so no one was in camp.

……Dang.

He forwarded the post he had just made to all of Ding Qiuyun’s friends and teachers, then threw the communicator back into his bag.

When he opened his bag, a warm, soft lump poked its head out from the opened zipper, looking around curiously at the human world.

Chi Xiaochi pulled the bag around to his front and reached out to pat its soft, fleshy chin.

Chi Xiaochi, “Hello.”

The baby leopard, “Aowu.”

Chi Xiaochi, “Do you want to come with me to buy stuff?”

The baby leopard, “Aowuwu.”

Chi Xiaochi solemnly refused. “No, I’m going to put you into the locker now.”

As if it had guessed that it was going to be temporarily abandoned, the little baby leopard stopped mewling enthusiastically at him, climbing clumsily out of the backpack and jumping onto Chi Xiaochi’s shoulder, where it wrapped itself around his neck, pretending it was a scarf.

Chi Xiaochi clicked his tongue, then pulled the little baby leopard that was about one and a half times the size of his palm down from his shoulders. He used both index fingers to press down its front paws, making it lie flat and reveal its stomach, lightly scratching its belly with his thumbs in what could be considered its punishment for being disobedient.

The baby leopard was completely unprepared for this kind of treatment, rolling around between Chi Xiaochi’s palms, both tickled and pleased. It opened its mouth, revealing two newly-grown, pointy little white teeth, meowing softly.

Just as Chi Xiaochi was engrossed in kneading its little belly, he heard 061 quietly suck in a cold breath, as if he couldn’t stand something any longer.

A moment later, he said helplessly, “……Xiaochi, stop playing around. Get back to business.”

Business, of course, needed to be gotten back to.

In the end, the little baby leopard was still ruthlessly stuffed into the locker by Chi Xiaochi.

Chi Xiaochi bought top grade sealed barrels, large quantities of rice, noodles, other grains, salt, honey, high calorie hardtack, spirits, and fifteen days worth of vegetables and fruits, etcetera, and the best quality pots and pans.

In terms of daily necessities, he then bought three military tents, seven sleeping bags, ten sets of winter clothes, tactical multitool shovels, small knives, daggers, candles, matches, flint, flashlights, hand crank generators, a telescope, leather backpacks, toilet paper, etcetera.

Whatever that you could think of, Chi Xiaochi bought it all.

When buying such a large volume of items at one time, customers didn’t need to carry it at all.

After entering the shopping mall, each customer would get a small steel basket. In the mall, there would be a model of every product sealed in toughened glass. In front of each glass cabinet was placed a box of plastic tokens slightly larger than the usual coins.

If a customer wanted to pick said product, they just needed to place the corresponding plastic token into their little basket.

AIs were also responsible for check-out. Chi Xiaochi placed his little basket that was chock full of plastic tokens onto the conveyor belt, and the AI automatically began to ring up his items.

Using a gentle female voice which didn’t sound mechanical at all, it relayed the items Chi Xiaochi was buying and even took the initiative to start up a conversation with him. “You’re buying so many things, are you going out to play a wilderness survival game?”

Chi Xiaochi smiled. “En. I’m in charge of purchasing everything.”

Currently, the so-called “wilderness” had long since become a thing of the past. Thus, amongst the younger generation, a game called “simulated wilderness survival” had begun to emerge. The game operators had specially delineated a piece of land, and used all kinds of smart AI to create various harsh weather climates and dangerous terrains, so as to help the idle youths while away some time.

The female AI smiled along with him. “I hope you have a good time.”

The AI’s voice was full of sincerity.

No matter if it was towards a passerby or a patron of hers, she would unhesitatingly send them her blessings.

Everyone was used to it, thinking that it was due to her programming. Few people would bother to wonder, if her smile was true or false.

Without a change in his expression, Chi Xiaochi replied, returning the smile in his voice, “Thank you.”

He took his pickup card from the female AI and headed downstairs to the pickup area. After swiping his card, his items, having already been properly sealed, were transported out by conveyor belt from the items chute one after another.

The AI of the pickup point asked politely, “Would Sir like us to deliver your items to your home, or would Sir rather be assisted in carrying your items to your car?”

Chi Xiaochi chose the former and handed over some money, arranging it to be delivered to Ding Qiuyun’s parents’ home in Dongcheng at 11pm.

As he started his motorcycle, Chi Xiaochi looked up at the porcelain blue sky, thinking, letting humans willingly turn into pigs living like princes, was truly too easy.

After leaving the shopping mall, he spent another two hours going to all the pharmacies across the city, buying huge quantities of medicines, most of which were heart-related medicines. As for the rest, they consisted of antidiarrheal medicines, haemostatic gauze, dieda ointment, and allergy medicine. As long as it was a commonly used medicine, he bought it all.

These medicines were then converted into data by 061, and stored in his storage.

After he was done stocking up, he sat on his motorcycle and downloaded all the real-time maps of each province on his communicator, and circled several locations on the maps.

061 reminded him, “Antibiotics are very important.”

Chi Xiaochi, “En. But they aren’t over-the-counter medicines. I’ve marked out some pharmacies which stock antibiotics, but I’ll have to wait till after the apocalypse happens before coming back.”

061 said, “You could actually buy more of the other medicines.”

“This much is already enough, anymore would arouse suspicion,” Chi Xiaochi said, “Also, I can’t empty out all the pharmacies. If, when the apocalypse breaks out, anyone has a need for any of these medicines, they’ll still be able to get them if they go to a pharmacy.”

The way Chi Xiaochi looked as he talked, with his head lowered, was both clear and gentle, making 061 impulsively want to hug him.

Hence, that little baby leopard succeeded at escaping its prison once more, and, before Chi Xiaochi could react, wiggled its way into his shirt, poking its head out from the top of his high-neck sweater.

The little leopard’s eyes were a bluish grey, and shone brightly, like stars reflecting off a clear blue ocean.

This time, Chi Xiaochi didn’t send it back into the bag.

He thought for a moment, then asked the little leopard, “Cold? Hungry?”

The little leopard’s four paws kneaded his chest.

Chi Xiaochi, with no way of dealing with this sticky little guy, asked 061, “What’s wrong with it?”

061 smiled as he answered, “Just let it lie there for a while.”

Chi Xiaochi thought about it, then let it do as it wished, putting his communicator in place and starting the bike.

As soon as the bike started vibrating, the little leopard lost its balance and rolled all the way down from Chi Xiaochi’s neck to his abdomen.

It seemed to have been muddled by the fall, taking a long time before it could inch back up from the bottom, climbing back up to Chi Xiaochi’s collar once more.

Bringing with him a baby leopard, the man on the motorcycle rode through the winter-like autumn, heading in the direction of home.

This was his last place of refuge before the end of the world.

Father Ding and Mother Ding weren’t actually very surprised by their son suddenly coming home without a word of notice.

Ding Qiuyun’s parents were both surnamed Ding. They had been neighbours, growing up together as childhood sweethearts. At 20, they had gotten married, and at 21, they had Ding Qiuyun.

The old couple had a very good relationship, celebrating the Qixi Festival and Valentine’s Day together every year. Their agreed-on world for two staying a world for two, they would never bring Ding Qiuyun out along with them. One Valentine’s Day, the old couple went out to watch a movie and share a candlelight dinner. His mother even came back holding a huge bouquet of cornflowers, while Ding Qiuyun was left to cook instant noodles alone at home.

Even though Ding Qiuyun often complained bitterly on the surface, he was envious of this kind of young couple growing old together.

When the door opened, and he saw his father, Chi Xiaochi’s body suddenly began to tremble uncontrollably, a rush of boiling, painful feelings sealing off his throat.

He rubbed his chest, thinking, these are probably Ding Qiuyun’s emotions.

Ding Wenzhi unexpectedly just smiled at his son’s momentary unnaturalness. Not asking why his son had come running back home, he reached out and pulled him into the house, turning and shouting towards the kitchen, “Xiao Ding, Qiuyun’s home.”

There weren’t many artificial intelligences installed in the Ding home. The Ding parents both thought that only food they made themselves would taste good, so on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, his father cooked, and on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, his mother cooked. On Sundays, who cooked would be decided by a game of Morra. Everything was arranged very clearly.

Mother Ding, Ding Xiuxiu, was currently cooking, the smell of food permeating all corners of the house.

She poked her head out. “Qiuyun, what do you want to eat, mum will make it for you.”

Ding Wenzhi waved his hand dismissively. “He wishes. Who asked him to run back home without a word of notice. Don’t make anything extra for him, he’ll eat what we want to eat.”

Chi Xiaochi, “……” Truly a biological father.

Ding Qiuyun called Father Ding Old Ding, and called Mother Ding Ding-jie. The family was extremely close, so they didn’t bother sticking to any societal norms.

Ding Wenzhi very quickly noticed the little leopard his son was holding in his arms. “Hey, a pet you bought for us?”

Chi Xiaochi placed the little leopard onto the ground. It didn’t run around wildly, simply dozing off by the side of his leg, unbelievably well-behaved.

He said, “I bought it for myself.”

With that, Chi Xiaochi went to the kitchen and grabbed a small bowl. He twisted open the cod liver oil capsule he’d just bought from the supermarket downstairs, mixed the goat milk powder in warm water until it reached a suitable temperature, then took a disposable syringe and gently fed it into the little leopard’s mouth.

The little leopard wasn’t picky, opening its mouth for the food, not minding the sharp drop in quality from the top grade pure goat’s milk it had been fed in the incubator, drinking readily, seemingly very happy.

As it swallowed, its ears twitched back. Its pink tongue was dyed the colour of milk. When the syringe was pulled away from its mouth, it even burped out a happy milk bubble.

Father Ding was itching to stroke it. “This cat is pretty good.”

However, the well-sated little leopard avoided Father Ding’s hand, lying down on Chi Xiaochi’s left side and falling asleep as soon as its eyes closed.

Father Ding asked, “Where did you get this cat from? It looks so exotic.”

Chi Xiaochi said the first lie that came to mind. “It was given to me by a classmate.”

Father Ding, “What’s it called?”

Chi Xiaochi didn’t even blink. “Boss Coal.”

061, “……” He once again caught a glimpse of Chi Xiaochi’s limitless naming skills.

Father Ding broke out into laughter. “What kind of terrible name is that?”

Chi Xiaochi had thought of many names on the way back to the Ding home. Of them, “Boss Coal” best fit the leopard’s appearance.

However, after some more thought, Chi Xiaochi temporarily gave up on the plan to give it an official name.

The leopard was a leopard after all. Its wild nature was difficult to tame. Even if he raised it up from young, it would be a dangerous bomb that could explode at any moment.

As for how to deal with it in the future, Chi Xiaochi still had a few difficulties thinking about it, so he simply tabled the topic, leaving it to be thought about again later.

When dinner was served, Chi Xiaochi glanced at his communicator.

All of his friends who had received the forum post he’d forwarded to them said that they’d make their preparations, but they all used joking tones, clearly, none of them believed his words.

Chi Xiaochi gave everyone the same response: “I’m not joking.”

After sending that, he then took another look at the forum thread.

Under his post, most of the replies were all mocking the OP as insane, a man of Qi who feared the sky falling. There were also quite a few people discussing if a cold so strong that it could cause the end of mankind really came, what everyone should do to prepare.

Chi Xiaochi put his communicator away, not looking at it any longer.

After dinner, he accompanied his father on a walk, then urged his parents to take a bath and rest when they returned.

Father Ding still wanted to watch a baseball game for a while, but was directly pouted back by Chi Xiaochi. “Old Ding, you were staying in the hospital just half a year ago, be careful of your heart.”

Father Ding had no choice but to agree. “Okay okay okay, I’m going to sleep, I’m going to sleep.”

Chi Xiaochi held out a palm to him, waving it slightly.

Father Ding grimaced, then reluctantly handed his communicator over.

As Mother Ding watched the father and son duo make a ruckus, she worked on her embroidery with a smile.

In her hands, a pair of “happy family” nine fish double-sided embroidery was almost finished.

After his parents fell asleep, Chi Xiaochi drove his father’s car out to a nearby gas station, filled up the tank, and carried out three barrels of oil and placed it into the trunk.

Not long after he got back, the items he’d bought at the mall that afternoon had been delivered.

He instructed the delivery robot to bring the items into the living room as quietly as possible. When they left, not needing Chi Xiaochi’s instructions, 061 digitised all the items, putting them in storage, and placed dozens of 20 litre well-sealable buckets under the tap, filling them up with fresh water.

When all the work was done, Chi Xiaochi lay back in bed, and, while he waited for the apocalypse to begin, chose to receive the rest of the world’s information.

……

sere: scared for the rest of the world info

panda: me too…but that Lou Leopard is definitely good for eating tofu lol.

baum: on a slightly different note, I have a recc for y’all lol

xiin’s started translating one of my favourite novels of all time on dummynovels. If you like seeing super sweet couples and a rightful disdain for scum gongs, please check it out~

(link)