Day One Thousand One Hundred And Ninety-Six

Dear Diary,

Yeah, i gotta remember that my ladies are, in fact, tremendously competent in their areas of expertise.

Shit, if I include 'shit wrecking' as an area of expertise, so am I, really.

So yesterday, after a night of Reveling and a day of teaching Cadets to do unto one another, Tallulah called me back to wake her up and get ready to negotiate with the Fae prankster we'd captured. Okay, I'd captured, because apparently despite my love of Agency and hatred of imprisonment, freedom was yet another bit of shit I can wreck. Not sure how I felt about that.

So, how'd you know they're ready to talk?

That's when a muffled thump sounded from beneath the blanket we'd covered the oubliette trapdoor with. "Allo? Anybody up there?"

I smiled at Tallulah and waved toward the floor. You're the expert.

"May I have your name?"

Yeah, I can't think Tallulah thought that would work, and our prisoner confirmed it when they said, "No, but you may call me Hat."

Tallulah raised an eyebrow. "You did not have a hat on when you arrived."

"Not that you saw, and a poor scallywag I would be if I wore my namesake so openly."

"You were the one who captured the attention of all who dined in the Hall of the Lord of Sun's Harbor nigh on a week ago."

I had to hand it to them, they hit aggrieved innocent really well when they responded, "I would never do such a thing!"

"Of course you wouldn't. Your kind rarely engages in the same tomfoolery more than once."

Yeah, they shifted gears, and even through the muffling blanket, I heard the change in tone when they said, "you've no proof of your accusation!"

"I have all the proof I need, Hat."

Yeah, that got some worry into that muffled voice. "In whose Court am I to be tried?"

"Court? Who mentioned a Court? Who mentioned a trial, for that matter?"

Yeah, I almost felt bad for Hat at that point. Then I remembered losing a whole fuckin' day fixated on them. "So it's to be torture and execution, then?"

"Do you desire torture and execution?"

That got some spluttering, not to mention another wave of delicious terror. At which point I realized I really ought not be the one negotiating, because I sure as fuck didn't need this dude, or chica, or whatever, getting me so worked up that I ate them. "No! Who desires torture and execution?"

"My Mistress enjoys both, when they take her fancy."

"So I'm to be a gift for your Mistress then?"

Tallulah just smiled at me, and I realized that she'd absolutely used that term on purpose. Because the Fae fuckup in the oubliette had no idea 'Mistress' applied to three different people in Tallulah's case. "That remains to be seen. Have you forgotten what my Mistress said when she placed you in that oubliette?"

"Can't say that I was in a mood to listen too closely."

Tallulah's snort made it clear that if their positions had been reversed, she would definitely have remembered, and that she wasn't fully convinced that Hat didn't. "Shall I remind you?"

"Would it improve my chances of getting out of here?"

"In all likelihood, yes."

Had to hand it to Hat, he had the right mindset when he asked, "in one piece?"

Tallulah smiled. "Oddly enough, also yes."

"Well then. I would like a reminder, if you could be so kind as to provide one?"

Tallulah took a deep breath through her nose, then said, "shall we make a simple deal, then?"

"What kind of deal?"

"If I remind you of what was said, you will not try to escape, perform any prank, nor bring any harm to any within this Temple."

Yeah, for a second I thought Tallulah had slipped, with the sudden sense of triumph in Hat's muffled voice. "So it's a Temple I'm in then?"

She smiled, and I realized she'd done that on purpose. "Yes, Hat. You are in the Temple of Love in Phileo City." I'm not sure if Hat had gotten the news yet about whose Temple it was, but he went quiet. "The Temple of the Patron Goddess of the Atlantean Alliance, Tabitha Diaz, who is Mimic Reborn into this world."

Yeah, that got a bunch of incoherent swearing. Heck, not even swear words, just half words choked off, until Hat hissed out, "Herself will have a fit if she hears you naming that name!"

"Do you speak of The Morrigan?"

"Aiee! Oi!" I swear Hat must have been having a conniption and a half, what with the choking sounds and squealing. "I care not that the Leanan Sidhe has planted her luscious ass upon Herself's throne! If you speak of her, she'll hear!"

Tallulah sucked her teeth, then said, "normally I'd take a finger or toe for that indiscretion, but my Mistress believes in Redemption. Perhaps even forgiveness. And above all, she feels that rules ought to be explained in full, along with consequences, before those consequences are imposed. Should you say that name again, I will take one digit from your hands, then your feet, for each time you say it."

Yeah, T's deadpan delivery was not the kind to inspire confidence in our prankster guest, I guess. But apparently Hat wasn't stupid. "Which name?"

"I would hardly care if you mention The Morrigan." Hat hissed. "My Mistress has holds her captive, torturing her in a manner that would have killed anything less than a Goddess long since, and will continue to do so until The Morrigan," another hiss. "Apologizes for offending her."

"You...!"

"Besides, why would I balk at the mention of my Greatmother's name?"

Yeah, the oubliette got real fuckin' quiet at that. "May I... May I have the honor of knowing to whom I speak?"

I'm pretty sure if Hat could see Tallulah's grin, they would have shat themselves. "You have the honor of speaking to the High Priestess of Tabitha Diaz who is Mimic," another hiss. "Reborn to Rich Man's Port, Overlord Tallulah Crow of House Crow."

Yeah, nothing came from below except whimpering for a while. When it got quiet, I opened my mouth, but Tallulah held up a hand. Eventually, a tiny voice said, "should you remind me of what was said, I will behave as a respectful guest until such time as you inform me I am free to go on my way."

Tallulah lifted an eyebrow, and I nodded. "What was said was, and I quote..." At this point Tallulah must have Mimicked my voice, because it sure sounded like me when she said, "You might think you're in trouble, and that might ordinarily be true, but it seems my Wife is in need of a specialist in fascination magic."

After a few moments, Hat asked, "your wife?"

Tallulah chuckled. "My Mistress. Who also happens to be my Mistress' Wife."

"I... Do not claim to be a specialist in fascination magic."

"Ah, but you do know that magic, do you not?"

Hat choked out, "I might."

"Those who have only dabbled might called you an expert with it, would they not?"

"They might."

Tallulah nodded. "And if my Mistress, who is an Archmage, was developing a Shape that required intimate knowledge of that type of magic, you would have that intimate knowledge, would you not?"

Hat seemed almost resigned when they said, "I might. I wish I did not. But I might."

"Why so glum, little Hat?"

The prankster whimpered, "Archmagi are not known for allowing their information sources to go free once they're done with them."

Wait, really?

Tallulah looked at me, chagrin clear on her face. The prankster is not wrong. Archmagi have gained a reputation over the millennia.

Well. Shit. We're not gonna pull that shit. NDAs are bad enough.

What, pray tell, is an NDA?

I sighed, because I realized I'd just introduced some shit that might be way easier to use for evil than good, but I wasn't gonna start not trusting my partners now. Non Disclosure Agreement. Basically a contract that says you won't tell anyone about something.

Yeah, that put a twinkle in her eye. What a novel idea.

Be careful with it.

She blinked, then nodded solemnly. Of course, Goddess. Aloud she said, "assurances to your continued well being might be provided, should you agree to answer questions without attempt to deceive."

Hat went quiet for a while. "May I have time to think on this?"

"Of course."

With that, Hat went quiet. Tallulah took me by the hand, and we stepped up to the Altar, where Karen was speaking quietly to some members of the congregation I'd seen attending most weeks. Before I could say anything, the pair dropped to their knees.

While Tallulah quietly relayed the info on our captive, I stepped over and lifted them to their feet, my arms and tentacles going around them. "Hey, hey, hey. No need to do all that kowtowing. Cadet... Shit, I gotta stop forgetting. Champion Brat proved I'm not real fond of having smoke blown up my ass a few weeks back." They both kinda stammered quietly. "You guys here asking Karen for something?" The pair, a man and woman, nodded. Right about then I realized Tallulah had finished briefing Karen, and they were waiting for me to be done. "Well, I'll let you get back to it. Unless you wanted something direct from me?"

Karen laughed. "They might, but they were going about getting it the right way." When I set them in front of her and tilted my head, she explained. "They were asking how to go about volunteering for the Temple."

I chuckled, gave the pair one final hug, and stepped back home with Tallulah in tow.

We got home a little late for dinner, but just in time to shower and soak.

Dreamt of my ladies doing something with one of Saffron's magical smartboards. Reminded me of that old Ryan Reynolds movie for no apparent reason. Last night was not a night I understood their words or what they'd written. Oddly enough that didn't bother me nearly as much as it might when I was awake.

Today I spent the day teaching math in Calverton. To the normal class, which included a bunch of kids and Marilyn Calvert herself, not to mention all of my kids.

Well, almost all of them. Isadora and her new Troll bestie were too cute to wake up.