Chapter 894: The Feeling Of Being Wanted

Ragnora looked down at their intertwined fingers. Her massive crimson hand enveloping his pale one like a protective shell. The warmth spreading from her palm up through her arm and into her chest.

"It feels..."

She remembered all the couples she’d watched over the years. The young lovers in the village square, fingers loosely linked as they walked.

She’d always wondered what that felt like.

Now she knew.

"It feels warm." She finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. "So warm. I didn’t expect it to be so warm."

A small, unexpectedly shy smile crept across her face.

"Sometimes." She admitted, her voice dropping even lower. "When I was alone in my quarters and couldn’t sleep...I would hold my own hand. Just to imagine what it might feel like. I would press my palms together and pretend—" She caught herself, her face flushing. "That’s pathetic, isn’t it?"

"It’s not pathetic." Cassius said firmly. "It’s human."

"Once." Ragnora continued, apparently unable to stop now that she’d started. "I tried to cut off the circulation in my arm. Just for a minute. So I couldn’t feel anything. And then I held my own hand, and for a few seconds, it almost felt like..."

She trailed off, mortified.

Cassius’s eyes widened. "Commander. That’s...incredibly dedicated."

"Please don’t mention it. Ever. To anyone!"

"Your secret is safe with me." He squeezed her hand gently. "But you don’t have to do things like that anymore. Not while I’m here."

Ragnora looked down at him and felt something shift in her chest.

This man. This strange, brilliant man who had somehow stumbled into her life and seen through every wall she’d ever built.

He was offering her something no one else ever had: a chance to simply...experience. Without judgment. Without expectation. Without fear.

"Thank you." She said quietly. "For this. For all of this."

"We’re not done yet." Cassius said, his grin returning. "We’ve only just started holding hands. Now comes the important part."

"What important part?"

"The walking." He tugged gently at her hand. "Couples don’t just stand there with their hands linked like statues, Commander. They walk. They swing their arms. They talk about their days. They—"

He glanced toward the window. "I was going to suggest a stroll outside, but given your concerns about being seen..."

"Absolutely not." Ragnora said firmly. "If any of my soldiers saw us..."

"Then we’ll walk here. Your house is spacious enough. Come—we’ll do laps. Consider it a training exercise."

Ragnora let out a startled laugh. "A training exercise?"

"Romance training. Very rigorous. I’m a strict instructor."

And so they walked.

Around the living room first, their linked hands swinging gently between them. Then past the kitchen, where the dying embers in the hearth still cast a faint orange glow.

Then around the dining table, cluttered with the books they’d been debating earlier. Then past the bathroom. Then back to the living room.

"Tell me about your week." Cassius said, his tone light and conversational. "How has it been?"

Ragnora was so focused on the sensation of his hand in hers, that it took her a moment to process the question.

"Ah. Busy." She cleared her throat. "The monster activity has been increasing. We’ve had more S-class sightings this month than in the previous three months combined. I’ve been rotating the squads more frequently to prevent exhaustion, but..."

"But?"

"But the soldiers are still tired. I can see it in their eyes. They won’t admit it, they’re too proud. But the constant battles are wearing them down." She sighed. "I’ve been trying to requisition additional reinforcements from the capital, but the bureaucracy moves at its own pace."

Cassius nodded. "The Aether Devourers today—you handled three of them simultaneously. That can’t be a common occurrence."

"It’s becoming more common." Her voice tightened. "That’s why I was so relieved when you and Isabelle arrived. If we can find the source of the mana beast surges and stop it at the root..."

"We will." Cassius said simply. "I promise you that."

And somehow, despite the fact that he was a stranger she’d known for less than a day, Ragnora believed him.

"Your turn." She said. "Tell me about your week."

"My week?" Cassius chuckled. "Well, my wife and I got attacked by wolves on the way here. Then I called the magic tower a phallus. Then I passed an impossible enchantment test. Then I sold a bunch of random goods to your townsfolk."

"Then my wife hid in a blanket cocoon because you saw her naked. And now I’m holding hands with the most powerful woman on the continent."

"That’s quite a week."

"I like to stay busy."

Ragnora let out a real laugh, warm and full and unguarded. It was a sound she made so rarely that it almost surprised her. When was the last time she’d laughed like that? Months? Years?

They continued walking. Around and around. The conversation flowed easily now—about small things, trivial things, the kind of everyday chatter she’d always imagined couples sharing.

Cassius asked about the books she was currently reading. She asked about the items he’d sold at his impromptu shop.

He told her about a particularly stubborn customer who’d haggled for twenty minutes over a decorative vase.

She told him about a young recruit who’d accidentally set his own training dummy on fire.

It was so simple. So mundane. And yet Ragnora felt more alive in that moment than she had during any of her legendary battles.

Until—

"Ragnora?"

"Yes?"

"I think you’re holding my hand a little too tightly."

She looked down and realized with horror that she was gripping Cassius’s hand with enough force to crack stone. His fingers were turning a slightly alarming shade of purple.

"Ah!" She released him instantly, her hands flying to her face. "I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean—I wasn’t paying attention—my strength sometimes—are you alright!? Is anything broken? Do you need a healer? I can summon—"

Cassius flexed his fingers, wincing slightly. "I’m fine. Everything’s still attached. See?" He wiggled his fingers at her. "All present and accounted for."

"I’m so sorry." Ragnora repeated, mortification burning through her. "I was just...I got so caught up in the moment that I forgot to control my grip. I didn’t mean to hurt you."

"Ragnora." Cassius reached up and patted her forearm, the highest part of her he could comfortably reach. "It’s fine. Honestly. I’ve had worse. Isabelle once squeezed my hand so hard during a particularly intense card game that my knuckles clicked for three days."

Despite herself, Ragnora let out a weak laugh.

"Now." Cassius continued. "Tell me honestly—how did it feel? Your first hand-holding experience?"

Ragnora looked down at her own hands. They were slightly sweaty now—nerves and excitement mingling together. She turned them over, staring at her palms.

"I’ve held hands before." She said slowly. "My parents, when I was very young. The village elders, when they would guide me places. Over the years, I’ve held the hands of countless soldiers—the wounded, the dying, the frightened."

She looked up at Cassius, and her golden eyes were softer than he’d ever seen them.

"But it’s always been me giving comfort. Me being the strong one. Me being the support." She pressed her palm against her chest. "Tonight, for the first time in...I don’t know how long...I felt like someone was supporting me. Like I wasn’t alone."

Her lips curved into a small, genuine smile.

"Thank you, Cassius. Truly. I’ll use this as a reference for every hand-holding scene I read in the future."

Cassius took a step forward.

"Why are you talking as though this is the last thing we’re going to do?"

Ragnora blinked. "What?"

He grabbed the list from the table and held it up in front of her face, his grin returning with full force.

"Look at this, Commander. We’ve completed exactly one item. ONE. Out of—" He counted quickly. "—a bunch services. We still have hugs. Head pats. Horn polishing. Forehead kisses. And..." He waggled his eyebrows. "Cuddling."

Ragnora’s face went through approximately seven shades of crimson.

"You want to...right now? All of it?"

"Why not? I’m not sleepy. Are you sleepy?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Then what’s stopping us?" He tilted his head. "Unless you’d rather stop here. Which is completely fine. We can always continue another—"

"No!"

There it was again, that explosive, desperate refusal. Ragnora looked almost as shocked by it as Cassius did.

"I mean..." She cleared her throat, trying to recover some shred of dignity. "If you’re truly willing to continue...then I would like to. Very much." She paused. "Please."

Cassius’s grin softened. "Of course, Commander. What would you like to try next?"

Ragnora grabbed the list and scanned it with an intensity she usually reserved for battle maps. Her eyes darted from option to option—too intense, too soon, too embarrassing, too—

"This one." She said, pointing.

Cassius leaned over. "A hug. Excellent choice." He looked up at her. "Now, there are two options. The standard hug—" He spread his arms in a casual, friendly gesture. "Simple. Warm. Wholesome. The kind of hug you’d give a friend or a comrade."

"Or..." His arms tightened, his posture shifted. His eyes met hers with an intensity that made her breath catch. "The deep, affectionate hug. The kind where you hold on like the other person is the most precious thing in the world."

His voice dropped slightly.

"Which would you prefer, Commander?"

Ragnora’s throat went dry.

"The...The second one." She managed. "The one you give Isabel. I want to experience that one."

Cassius let out a smile that made the corners of his eyes crinkle.

"Come here, then."

He stepped toward her, and Ragnora’s entire body went rigid. She lifted her arms out to the sides like a scarecrow, her elbows locked, her shoulders so tense they could have supported the weight of the entire house.

Cassius stopped.

"Commander." He said gently. "You look like you’re preparing for a military inspection. Relax. Just...let me handle it."

"I am relaxed." Ragnora said, sounding anything but.

"Your arms are currently forming a perfect T-pose. You could be mistaken for a very tall, very muscular coat rack."

Ragnora’s arms dropped slightly. "I don’t know what to do with them."

"You don’t have to do anything. That’s the point." Cassius moved closer, until he was standing directly in front of her. "Just breathe. And let me hold you."

He wrapped his arms around her waist.

Or tried to.

Her waist that was toned, muscular, impossibly solid was too broad for his arms to fully encircle. His hands didn’t even come close to meeting behind her back.

But he pressed himself against her anyway, his cheek resting against the bare skin just below her ribs, his fingers splaying across the small of her back.

Ragnora stopped breathing.

She could feel everything.

The warmth of his body against her stomach. The gentle pressure of his hands on her back. The soft tickle of his hair against her skin.

Especially his breath ghosting across her midriff, which was left completely bare by the design of her attire.

A shiver raced down her spine.

’What am I doing!?’ Her mind screamed. ’What am I DOING? I am Commander Ragnora Titanborn! I have led armies into battle! I have slain dragons! I am standing in my living room, paying a married man to HUG me, and I am enjoying it!’

’And yet....’

’And yet it feels so good!’

’So impossibly, unbearably good!’

Slowly, she lowered her arms. Her massive hands came to rest on Cassius’s back, covering nearly the entire span of his shoulder blades.

She pulled him closer.

A small, surprised laugh escaped her lips.

"There." Cassius murmured against her stomach. "That’s it. Just like that."

Ragnora closed her eyes. She let herself feel the sensation of holding someone. Of being held. Of sharing warmth with another person in the quiet dark of her own home.

She thought about all the books she’d read. All the scenes she’d memorized.

’In this moment, Lady Eveline realized that no battlefield victory had ever felt as sweet as the simple comfort of Aldric’s arms around her.’

’In this moment, the warrior princess understood why poets spent lifetimes trying to capture the feeling of being held by someone who truly cared.’

She’d read those words a hundred times and never truly understood them.

She understood them now.

’This...’ She thought. ’...is what I’ve been missing. This is what all those books were trying to describe. This warmth. This closeness.’

’This feeling of being...wanted. I love it so much.’

—

Meanwhile, Cassius was having a significantly less wholesome experience.