Novel Full Chapter 470 - 470 More Deep Thoughts
Chapter 468 More Deep Thoughts
"I guess…" said Kat, because really, Kamiko's family, while very functional, was also kind of a mess, "It's just that… I feel like I sort of intrude you know? I never had the chance to settle into the family because I've spent so much time on missions and stuff…"
"Oh? I wouldn't think it was that bad" said Kamiko
"Well, at the start it wasn't but very quickly it's changed to missions no lower than three days. Is that normal?" asked Kat
Kamiko shook her head, "Not really no. For Rank 1, it's very rare. Most of them are a day, or two if it's an easy but somewhat lengthy job. Sometimes three happens but that's the limit." Kat grimaced thinking of her journey through the caves with Minor and how long that mess took. "For Rank 2 it's mostly the same, things don't really expand much. It's Rank three where missions start to get longer"
Kat scoffed, "If they get longer at Rank 3 then I'm honestly kind of scared. I… it really just hit me that I've spent more time away from my new home then I have staying there. So… I kinda got to thinking that maybe I should spend more time with them?"
Kamiko smiled a sad smile at Kat, looking at her as if she was an idiot. "There's nothing you could have done Kat. It seems like you spend as much time as possible with them, and it's not like you knew this was going to happen. Not only do you seem to go on longer missions then normal, you didn't grow up a demon. You didn't what was going to be required, and you're getting more asked of you then normal anyway."
"I guess… the difference is that they aren't demons, they had no way to see this coming, and then my little sister… well, I wonder what my relationship should be with the person who adopted us because of her…" explained Kat.
"I don't see how it's an issue. She adopted you right? So that makes you her daughter." Said Kamiko
"She's at most ten years older then me, and I doubt it's much more than five" said Kat deadpan.
"Oh." Said Kamiko "Oh" she repeated this a few more times. For Kamiko, ten years was nothing, ten years was sibling territory. To hear that the person who was now responsible for taking care of Kat was so similar to them both hit home the issue much harder then any of Kat's previous problems.
"She's not really the age to be a mother is she… and even if for a human it's not the earliest, you're very close in age, and… anything else?" asked Kamiko
"And I'm mostly self sufficient. For humans eighteen is when you are considered a full adult. So… I'm like a year off that, and my guardian is still in her twenties. I can't really see her as a mom because she's so close in age to me, but…" Kat trailed off
"But?" asked Kamiko. She was invested now, she wanted this answer
"Because of my little sister, Sylvie, she's like nine but really tiny. Anyway, she's a very mature nine year old and… I feel like she'd follow my lead. If I treated Vivian like a sister, she'd do that as well, and… I feel like I'd be taking away her chance for a mother?
"Like, I'd given that up ages ago because it wasn't really important to me. A lot of kids at the orphanage wanted parents, and some that said otherwise, were always clearly lying but… I was one of the few people that were sent to the orphanage young enough to just… not remember my parents
"I was only just barely two, or so I've been told, and from the sounds of things, I might have been away from them for a bit before I got to the orphanage. So unlike a lot of them, I never had parents and didn't feel the need to have them back.
"Initially, I was younger then the normal orphanage age. Gramps sort of specialises in like… kids say, six to twelve? So, nobody was looking to adopt a two year old if they came to our orphanage. I'm not sure why I was sent there actually, it's not something I asked
"But anyway, so I was too young to start with, then as the years went by, and I settled in, I was past over for adoption a few times. I did the interviews and they didn't really work out, so I started to suggest other kids go instead of me.
"Gramps told me off for it, but a lot of those kids ended up getting adopted so… I never really got in trouble for it. Anyway, at that point I was maybe… seven? And I just… let go of the idea I'd leave the orphanage. I was only really going along with the idea because that's what all the other kids wanted.
"Then, as the years went on, I very quickly ended up in charge of things. Not fully, but by the time I was ten a lot of kids looked to me when things needed to get done. That… that wasn't too bad of course, but it did make it hard for me to be offered the chance at adoption. This is both from a logistical standpoint, as well as from a… social one?
"See, I helped tell Gramps which kids were ready to be adopted. Some of them would have reacted really badly, they'd have only left kicking and screaming, so you'd let them calm down and deal with the grief. Others though, you could see were practically suffocating in the orphanage
"So, I'd help look through the families and match people up. This meant I couldn't really in good conscious match myself with a family when other people needed it more and I was the one doing the matching. Then on the other hand, because I was doing so much, not only would Gramps have been down a considerable amount of help if I left…
"I was a major stabilising factor for a lot of the much younger kids. They KNEW I'd be there. It… it felt to them, like I was off the market so to speak, and that I'd been there so long I'd never leave before them… so they always tended to come to me with there problems. Then, because they did it, all the new kids learnt that I was the go to person… and it sort of spiralled." Said Kat, reminiscing about her past.
"That doesn't seem particularly fair…" said Kamiko with a confused tone of voice. "Why would you even be put in that kind of position?"
Kat shrugged "It just sort of happened you know? Little things over time. See, the oldest was unofficially in charge and would take on those jobs… but the oldest other than me… I think was fourteen? I think that's the oldest a kid has ever been at Gramps orphanage barring myself.
"Which was fine, until they got adopted, then someone needed to be trained to pick up all the jobs they'd left behind. I liked being helpful anyway, and the orphanage was more my home then many other kids… so I always helped with that transition once I was old enough. At some point, there wasn't a pass over
"I just did part of the work, and the oldest shared some of the duties… until one day, it was just me, and I did it all by myself. They actually need three people now, to manage what I could do alone…"
"Still… I'm not sure I like how that all worked out" pouted Kamiko.
"It is what is, I'm not bitter about it. I loved staying there, even if some things were hard. I spent most of my time with the kids up until I was told to start giving up my duties for when I inevitably had to leave. Well, the excuse at the time was for my last year at school, but looking back it was for when I'd need to finally leave.
"Yeah… once I got past fourteen, there wasn't any attempts to get me adopted and there were no thoughts on my end to change that. It was my home, and even if I didn't like it, which I very much did, I could move out on my own in a few years so… everything was pretty good from my perspective.
"Now I have a family somehow, and the little girl that I treated the most like my actual little sister managed to tag along with me. Problem is… I don't want to be the reason she can't have a mother."
Kamiko gave a huff and put her hands on her hips, "Really, it sounds like you were as much a mum to those kids as you were a big sister. I imagine that Sylvie thinks she's got two now"
Kat smirked, "Well, if you're including me it might be three. I may have even less of an idea where I stand with Callisto but Sylvie likes her a whole lot."