D.E.M.O.N.S: Getting Summoned Weekly isn't so Bad

March wasted no time at all grabbing the largest and deadliest looking axe on offer. It was double sided and nearly as tall as Kat. *It’s not like I wanted that one anyway, so I suppose that’s…* Kat’s internal thanks were cut off when a second, identical axe appeared in the spot March had just grabbed an axe from. *Or we get infinite copies. I still don’t want that one though… I don’t think? The weight isn’t necessary and the fact its double sided isn’t going to help me… right? Then why did March pick it?*

While Kat was deliberating on what to choose, Mauve went a head and grabbed the set of twin axes. Kat once again frowned at the choice, even as a new set appeared in their place. *Surely that can’t be right either? Hmm… well Mauve seemed to use an axe and shield to fight… so maybe she has good enough coordination with both hands to get away with it… but that still doesn’t seem like a good idea.*

Nabras stepped up while Kat was continuing to criticise her opponents ‘weapon’ choices. Nabras wavered between the more normal axes and the oversized double headed axe that March had chosen. After a few moments of indecision he was going to reach for the oversized one when Bonas yelled, “What are you doing?” from the side. Nabras glared back at his twin, before ignoring her advice and picking the oversized axe. Bonas was groaning, face in hands as Nell gently rubbed circles on her back.

*Ok… that’s… well that’s a thing I suppose. Still, regardless of if that weapon is the RIGHT choice for me… it’s definitely not for Nabras. He’s too short and… well… no I don’t see him winning with this choice. Just… just why would he go for that?*

[He’s trying to show off. I’m not exactly sure WHO he wants to show off to… but that’s gotta be why. He probably didn’t want March to have a bigger axe then him.]

*But what does it matter? I’m pretty sure that even if you’re as tall and buff as March it’s STILL the wrong axe choice. And heck, why does he want to pick the same axe as March anyway? She’s got muscles on her muscles! Her biceps are larger than my head if you don’t count my horns. Sure, I’m probably stronger then her, but I use demon bullshit for that. Surely most people would lose in a contest of strength against March if they’re both the same rank. Wait… I just realised another problem. How heavy is Nabras compared to the axe? Because I’m betting the answer is unfavourable…*

[Look, I don’t know who he’s showing off to, but it’s just a thing men do sometimes. I mean… women do it too, just in different ways. I’m just… not sure who he’s trying to show off to? I mean, it didn’t seem to be directed at anyone in particular… unless it’s March maybe? But that seems wrong…]

*I don’t think I’ve seen anyone do anything this silly before… well… not outside of clip shows on TV but those barely count as real life.*

[Agreed]

While kat and Lily were chatting mentally Asteodia went up to all the axes and looked at them. Then she bent down and grabbed a handful of the longer grass stems that were around. From there she proceeded to carefully… wave the grass over the blade. Trying to see which one was the sharpest. Through her testing she determined they were all about the same sharpness… with the dual axes possibly edging things out by just a tiny amount. Asteodia frowned at this, wavering between picking them and the more normal axes before deciding to pick the doubles.

*Well at least she tested those. I think I’m just going to go with the normal axe. Unless… you have some reason for me not to?*

[No I can’t think of anything.]

Kat nodded and then started to close down the link. Strategizing before the round with Lily was found but now things were starting for real Kat wasn’t going to risk it. Reaching over, Kat grabbed the normal axe and spun it around in her hands a few times before giving it a few fake practice swings. *Feels like basically nothing in my hands it’s that light. Maybe I should’ve picked the bigger one? It might’ve helped me moderate my strength a bit more.*

“Approach your stations!” said Thyme in a firm voice. As they did so, a little Chibi cutout of everyone participating in the round appeared behind one of the stumps. Kat’s was the second from the left so she went over to that one. Asteodia was on her left, March was in the middle, Nabras was next to March and the Mauve was on the far right. It didn’t really matter because the pile of logs was massive and stretched further left and right then the stumps did. Not to mention further back. There was clearly a few rows of wood there.

Thyme had given everyone a decent amount of space between them and their nearest competitors. It was about fifty metres, which really was quite a lot. Kat wasn’t sure that she would’ve been able to see Mauve much at all with her old human eyes. Still, this did show that the game was more about chopping wood then anything else, which did make sense.

Once everyone was lined up Thyme disappeared only to reappear between the stumps and all the logs, drawing Kat’s attention to said logs. The logs themselves were stacked in columns. These columns were all the same height, and each log was exactly the same size. *It seems Thyme went out of their way to standardise this challenge. No uneven logs. They’re all perfect circles and exactly the same size from what I can tell. That’s going to make getting four even pieces a lot easier. Not that I was too worried before… but with this? I should be able to find the right spot on the first log and then repeat the sequence forever.*

Thyme was dressed in classic lumberjack fashion… for the most part. They had a small hand axe resting over their shoulder, a big bushy beard… that was obviously fake. Not just for the fact that it was hair instead of hair like leaves, but because Kat could quite clearly see the glue keeping it in Thyme’s face. The plaid flannel shirt was a mix of red black and blue and fit well… but it didn’t stop there and was really more of a flannel robe, or dress going down to Thyme’s knees. At least the boots were normal. Thick leather things that went up past Thyme’s ankles.

“Ok. When I vanish from this spot the timer will start. You can at any point look behind you to see a giant clock counting down if you want an accurate measure of how much time you have left. You know the rules. You all have your axes. Do you have any final questions?” said Thyme.

“Um, yeah,” said Asteodia waving a hand. She had one of her axes just on the ground while the other was held securely in her hand. “Are we able to change axes if we find they aren’t working for us?”

Thyme shrugged and said, “The axe stand will be disappearing once the clock starts. I can give you one last moment to pick a different set if you want. Alternatively you’ll need to trade your axes for one of your competitors’ if you really need a replacement after the round starts. I suppose you could use your hands to cut logs… but I wouldn’t recommend it. And remember no magic…” 𝒆𝙣𝒐𝙫𝒆𝙡.𝙚𝙩

Asteodia didn’t seem overly surprised with the answer. Even if she just as obviously wasn’t pleased with it. She quickly tried using her one handed axe with two hands out found that while not particularly comfortable her hands were small enough to fit together on the handle with minimal issues. She then made a few practices swings and frowned at the thing again. “I… I think I’ll keep the ones I have?” she said, sounding unsure.

Thyme shrugged, “You have this one last chance, are you sure you want to keep them?”

“Not exactly… but I think it’s what I’m going to go with. I tested them. They’re the sharpest… I think. I’m betting that extra sharpness is going to make up for the slight awkwardness using them,” explained Asteodia, partially as a way to convince herself.

Thyme just shrugged again and looked over everyone before saying, “With that settled, I ask for a final time… are you all ready? Are you questions answered? Does the timber in front of you quake with fear?”

Kat wanted to wave that last one off but she did happen to glance at the wood that seemed to be shivering when she looked at it. *Huh… that’s… that’s actually happening. And it can’t be an illusion… so… what the fuck does that mean?* Kat didn’t know, and it was gone quickly. Kat thought it was probably best not to ask.