Death, Devotion, Dissonance

Half-sighing and half-groaning, Evin slid into the tent he somehow managed to put up. 

They had just reached an area dug into the Third Cataract, wide enough for dozen tents to be pitched. Their roof was the rest of the Cataract they had to walk up. It was basically a man-made cave. A resting point built by great mages of Tenarak.

"Final checkpoint," he mumbled.

At first when he was climbing, Evin was scared of the walls and the few pillars giving up on him and crushing him beneath it. His instincts refused to stay still inside a place like that, but eventually, he got used to it. Even managed to sleep under it. Though… the altitude sickness robbed that from him. 

'Oh, how I want to sleep. Or at least be finished with this damn climb. 300 meters more and I'll finally be at the top, right? Knowing my luck, I'd still probably be sick when I get there, but at least I won't have to struggle through these stairs anymore…' he thought. 'It feels like my foot's going to act up again too.'

"Make sure you drink enough water!" Ssatsko said from outside. "And try to breathe a lot."

"Uh." Evin managed. It was supposed to be an 'Uh-huh!'.

"Just hang in there till evening," Ssatsko sighed. "There's a guard post on top of the Cataract and I have  a friend there who makes pills for that sickness."

"Is brother Evin okay?" Sasha's voice sounded.

"Yes, yes. He'll be fine by tomorrow. For now, he just needs some rest," Ssatsko said. "Can you let your brother rest undisturbed for today?" 

"Un!" the girl nodded. 

"Alright, stay close and don't wander too far. Wouldn't want you walking off the cliff now, do we?"

Evin saw the scene, knew he should've felt all warm and fuzzy inside, but all he could feel was annoyance. Mostly at Lora's family always trying to help him out on the littlest things. He always went through sicknesses alone, so the extra attention felt excessive and sometimes even pitying.

He rolled down the tent's flap and conjured water from the air. It wasn't hard, with all the cloud swirling around him. Gulping it, he laid his back on the thick cloth on the ground. The nausea in his stomach felt a bit better at that. 

He tried sleeping, but sleep was still refusing to come. It hadn't come to Evin since yesterday morning, and in its stead, only pain and thoughts. The bad sort.

The increasing sadness in his mother's face, the increasing fear in Theor's face, the increasing suspicion in Ssatsko's face. At this point, he was sure Theor had spoken about Evin's threat. Evin tried to believe otherwise, but it was painfully obvious. Theor's reluctance to even look at him sometimes; the many private talks between his mother and his grandfather; how hurt and dismayed they looked after these talks.

Perhaps they didn't believe Theor at first, but Ssatsko would know what Evin was capable of. Lora also knew of Evin's illusions, so she would immediately realize why Theor was convinced so easily.

Would she still keep her good faith in him? Probably not.

'Just come and confront me on it…' Evin sighed. 'Get this over with.'

Evin wanted to groan. He hater being sick and also being riddled with these thoughts. His head suddenly felt dizzy, and with it, came his nausea. The different kind from his stomach's nausea. The one that came if you were constantly feeling pain. Evin learned about this new kind after he lost his foot. 

'Fun times.'

<Try those meditation techniques you learned from Sufia,> Endra offered.

<It hurts too much to focus… or to lose focus.>

<Then focus on your breathing,> Endra said. <Try to breathe as much as possible, and at the same time, as fast as possible. It'll keep your mind busy and distract you from the pain.>

<Shut up.>

Endra sighed and went silent, leaving Evin to rot with his negative thoughts.

Briefly, Evin felt smug lashing out at Endra, but the satisfaction did not last. Guilt came in its replacement, making Evin even more upset. It did not take long for Evin's head to make up depressing scenarios again. Perhaps it really would've helped if he focused on his breathing, but Evin was too stubborn to admit defeat to Endra. That fact also made him angry at himself.

'Truly, people show their true colors when they're sick.'

Honestly, the pain wasn't too bad. It was just annoying to be feeling it all the time.

The tent flapped and a wave of hot air hit Evin's face gently. 

<What was that?> he asked. 

<Maybe check outside?>

Evin, though reluctant, slipped out of the tent and looked around. 

The clouds had somewhat cleared up below, revealing the vast expanse of land below, which was the kingdom. Melayn said people felt patriotic witnessing the sight, but Evin did not feel a smidgeon of the thing even after seeing it for the better part of the day. He was even glad it disappeared behind the clouds an hour ago. Probably had something to do with him being sick.

<Look down,> Endra ordered. <Maybe someone cleared out the fog like Melayn did.>

<Right,> Evin sighed and walked over to the cliff's edge. 

He could barely see the lake formed below the Cataract, so he quickly decided that it was impossible for him to see anyone from up where he was standing all the way to the bottom. 

<There's no one at the bottom,> Endra hummed.

<How can you tell when I can't fucking see a thing from above here?>

<Hmm, I'm not sure how either. But I can see behind you too, so I don't really get why I shouldn't be able to see further than you too,> Endra replied, but he was focused on something else.

Evin wanted to curse, but another blast of air interrupted him. Much stronger this time. Evin had to cover his face instinctively, fearing it'll scald his skin.

Ssatsko appeared from inside his tent, a worried expression on his face. Lora also came out of his tent, instead of the big one she shared with Theor and her daughter.

'They were talking about me again…'

"That wasn't you, right?" the old man asked.

Evin shook his head. "It came from below."

Ssatsko came over to see. Finding nothing, he frowned. 

"Well, it's impossible to see anything on the ground from up here, so…"

"No, that blast did not come from the ground. It was much closer to the peak of the Cataract than to the bottom and it was much weaker than Melayn's spell. They're clearing out the cloud bit by bit!" Ssatsko pointed at the sky clearing up above them "My horn picked up the difference when the blast hit us the second time."

"Could it be…" Evin wondered, and looked down again, this time, searching for mages in the sky. Again, he saw nothing. A bad feeling welled in his heart.

<Tell Ssatsko to protect the others.> Endra said.