Cultivation Chat Group

Chapter 274: Pooping while riding on someone’s back!

Translator: Stardu5t Editor: Kurisu

The scooter wobbled home, carrying Venerable White and Song Shuhang…

On their way home, Venerable White did not use any formation to boost their speed.

Firstly, Venerable White only rode the scooter out of curiosity, he just wanted to experience it for a bit.

Secondly, the journey back was rather short, in total it was a distance of six bus stops. Thus, there was absolutely no need to race back.

When they got home, Mama Song seemed to be out running errands and hence she was not at home.

Venerable White and Song Shuhang then went back to the room.

"I will go look for Doudou and the small monk, and try to get them back by the end of tomorrow." Venerable White started to sort his cell phone out and took out the Meteor Sword.

Thereafter, he said to Song Shuhang, "Shuhang, give me your hand."

Song Shuhang reached out his hand puzzledly.

Venerable White used his finger to draw on his wrist with his spiritual energy—very quickly, a pretty 3D drawing of a Calabash Brother appeared on Song Shuhang’s wrist.

This drawing looked very familiar.

"The Ten Thousand Mile Flying Escape Technique?" Song Shuhang asked out of curiosity.

"No, this acts as coordinates. With it, no matter which part of the world you’re at, as long as nobody used any special method to hide it, I can locate where you are. After I find Doudou and the small monk, I will give you a call. Then, I will use the disposable sword to fly them back to you," explained Venerable White.

Send them back with a disposable flying sword? That’s a good idea!

"Awesome!" Song Shuhang gave a thumbs up. "Also, Senior White, I strongly suggest that you set the speed of the disposable flying sword used to send the small monk back at 4x normal speed, and the one used to send Doudou, on the other hand, could be set at 50x—it wouldn’t even be too much! Let them experience an adrenaline rush!"

"No problem." Venerable White nodded.

"Right, Senior, I would like to ask you for one more favor." Song Shuhang recalled something.

Then, he took out the ‘treasured saber Broken Tyrant’ and put it in front of Venerable White, saying, "Senior, can you draw a formation on Broken Tyrant to turn it invisible, so that ordinary human beings cannot see it?"

If he went on a trip to the East China Sea’s island resort, it would be much easier for him to bring it out discreetly if it was invisible.

"Sure, that’s easy," replied Venerable White.

He reached out with his finger again and drew on the Broken Tyrant an invisibility formation, a spirit gathering formation, and an anti-detection formation.

As such, apart from Venerable White and Song Shuhang, ordinary human beings would not be able to see the ‘treasured saber Broken Tyrant’. Of course, this formation was only casually drawn by Venerable White—cultivators would still be able to see the Broken Tyrant saber.

"In that case, I’ll head out to look for Doudou. Wait for me to contact you," Venerable White said.

If he could find Doudou before the end of tomorrow, that would be great… however, it also didn’t matter if he found Doudou rather late, as Senior White had already set the coordinates on Song Shuhang’s body.

At that time, after Song Shuhang had arrived at the destination, his flying sword would be able to rush straight to Song Shuhang’s side, following the coordinates.

❄️❄️❄️

Venerable White stepped on Meteor Sword and rode off into the sky.

With Senior White searching for Doudou and the small monk, Song Shuhang was able to have a peace of mind.

❄️❄️❄️

At dinner time.

Out of curiosity, Mama Song asked Shuhang, "Eh, Shuhang, your glib-tongued friend already left?"

"Ah, he’s going to pick up some brat from his friend’s family; he might need a couple of days before he returns," replied Song Shuhang.

"Oh my, it was rather lively previously with so many guests around, but little did I expect them to leave one by one," Mama Song said regrettably. She was a person who liked a lively atmosphere.

Speaking of which, if not for the late implementation of the two-child policy, she and Papa Song would have another child.

For the past few years, what Mama Song complained the most about was the two-child policy—she wished so hard that the policy was implemented ten years earlier. Perhaps Song Shuhang would have had a cute younger sister by now.

"Hehe, wait for a couple of days, Song Bai will bring the kid back and it’ll be lively again." Song Shuhang finished the soup in the bowl and smiled, saying, "Oh yeah, Mom, my dorm mate Gao Moumou’s friend wants to invite us to an island resort in the East China Sea, and we’re leaving in two days’ time. Our trip is about ten days in total."

Mama Song’s eyes lit up and she asked, "Are you going together with the young lady named Yu Rouzi?"

"Hahaha, Yu Rouzi has other things to do. But she said that if she can finish up her things in time, she would go over."

Papa Song slowly swallowed his food and asked, "Do you have enough money?"

"I do, sometimes I help out the seniors in school and get some remuneration in return." Song Shuhang laughed—even though his means of getting the remuneration was pretty violent.

Papa Song quietly nodded.

❄️❄️❄️

China, in the middle of the sky. A huge pekingese was lying on a civil aircraft heading to Beijing...

Within the fur of the huge pekingese, a small monk curled himself into a ball, wrapping himself in its fur.

They were indeed Doudou and the small monk Guoguo. The two fellas were hitching a ride on the airplane—why would they do that? It was because they had no money. The rest of the money the small monk earned from selling himself was spent on a widescreen phone that was made in China…

"Senior Doudou, is it really ok for us to escape to Beijing?" the small monk Guoguo asked anxiously.

Whenever he thought about Abbot Profound Principle sending ? and ? in the Nine Provinces Number One Group, he would feel very panicky.

The abbot got angry to the point he sent the emoji of a knife! Did it mean that Abbot Profound Principle intended to use the knife to slash him? Even if he didn’t use the knife to slash him, perhaps he would not be able to get away from a good beating.

Doudou said with joy, "Don’t worry, don’t panic. Based on my many years of experience of running away from home, at first, people in your family will get very mad. Just like Shuhang right now, threatening to beat the crap out of you! But, there’s a saying—human feelings are easy to exploit!"

He started to pass on his own ❮Heart Sutra of Running Away from Home❯. "After you run away for a long period and they can’t find you, they will start to panic! By then, their anger would be taken over by ‘worry’. After that, when they finally find you with much difficulty, they would pamper and dote on you like a baby."

"Is it really like that?" the small monk Guoguo asked in anticipation, but still kept his solemn face.

"Don’t you worry, I can guarantee that. Stupid Yellow Mountain is also like that. Every time I ran away from home, he would act as though he was extremely angry. But ultimately, when he couldn’t find me for 10-15 days, he wouldn’t be the slightest bit angry, only worried and wondering why I wasn’t coming home. After finding me with much difficulty, I would become the master of the family. They would give me all the nice food and drinks I wanted!" Doudou was very pleased with himself.

...The only bad thing about this trick is that you cannot use it too often. After using it too often, freaking stupid Yellow Mountain is now numb to it, and he isn’t worried at all. Dammit, I really want to bite him!

After being brainwashed by Doudou, the small monk felt a lot better.

"So, will Senior Brother Shuhang come to get us?" asked the small monk.

"He definitely will; with his nice guy personality, he definitely would be searching every corner of the earth for us."

The small monk silently nodded. His heart felt warm—he seemed to understand why Senior Doudou liked running away from home so much.

"Achoo, achoo! Eh? Strange, why do I suddenly have a bad premonition?" Doudou sneezed a couple of times while laying on top of the plane. He used his claw to rub his nose—just as he was talking about how ‘Song Shuhang should be searching every corner of the earth to look for us,’ for no apparent reason, his instincts caused him to be on guard. This was the hyper instinct of dogs!

Could it be that the good guy Shuhang’s still angry? It’s been said that when such people get angry, they could be very scary.

As Doudou was deep in thoughts, suddenly, the plane beneath his body started shaking violently.

The passengers’ screams could be heard one after another. The scene was in complete disorder.

During its flight, the plane suddenly experienced a strong turbulence…

"A sudden strong turbulence? Woof~ an aviation accident wouldn’t happen right?" Doudou lamented. I was just hitching a ride on the plane, that’s all.

Forget it… in the event of an accident, I will try my best to save some of the passengers. Based on Doudou’s capability, he still couldn’t change the impact of strong turbulence on the plane, he could at most save a few people.

❄️❄️❄️

Luckily, the turbulence only lasted for a short period of time.

After peace was restored, the flight attendants started consoling the startled passengers.

The passengers looked as though they escaped a narrow death; some of them even cried tears of joy.

"Safe and sound, and I don’t have to do anything." Doudou stuck out his tongue and lay down again.

At that moment, the small monk on his body looked very stiff—his face showed that he was in great distress.

"Guoguo?" Doudou asked out of curiosity.

At the same time, Doudou’s keen nose smelled something bad…

"Senior Doudou… I pooped!" the small monk said in a weak voice.

...Perhaps it was because of his hemorrhoid treatment over the past three days, which required them to keep inserting the medical apparatus up his butt? Or perhaps, after he was cured of hemorrhoids, he might not have gotten used to it? In any case, he kept feeling that his anus was not tight enough for the past two days.

This morning they were in a rush to leave, and hence he did not have enough time to poop. During their journey, he felt the need to relieve himself but tried to hold on. However, when the plane started shaking—he was not careful for only a bit and accidentally pooped.

Doudou was speechless.

If he pooped his pants, then so be it. Besides, the small monk was only six years old—occasionally pooping his pants was pardonable. He was after all very young.

But, the problem was... the small monk was lying on top of his body, and was being kept warm by his fur.

He pooped while laying on his back!

"Senior Doudou… I didn’t do it on purpose." The stern face of the small monk cringed so hard it started to look like fried dough twists.

"You don’t have to say anything." Doudou sighed deeply and said, "Let’s look for a place to deal with your underwear situation."

What else could he have done? The small monk was still very young, he couldn’t possibly reprimand him severely, right?

Even if he reprimanded him, so what? Won’t the small monk just end up crying out loud because he felt wronged? And he would still have to end up cleaning his poop in his underwear anyway.

After sighing deeply, Doudou used his claws to grab the small monk firmly and leapt down from the plane.

Speaking of which… as a dignified monster dog, why did he end up landing himself in such a predicament where he had to change the underwear of a little brat?

Doudou suddenly started to suspect if acceding to the little monk’s request and bringing him out to play a game of ‘running away from home’ was a good choice...