Cthulhu Gonfalon

Sui Xiong stood up very gently, no different than a commoner.

But the way he “stood up” was very creepy.

His entire body was not only getting taller the more he stood, but his body size was also experiencing tremendous changes. When he stood up straight, he had already become a pig headed human that was taller than a house.

Compared to the other pig humans that were busy fighting, Sui Xiong became a pig human who really had a pig head while his body remained the same as normal human being’s. Just like a big fat dude that had a pig head; it looked extremely creepy.

The pig humans were stunned and stopped fighting. They were all looking at him blindly.

“Let me think, what weapon should I use…” Sui Xiong mumbled to himself. He raised his eyebrows, stomped his feet, and the soil by his side wriggled up and turned into a huge spiked rake with nine sharp teeth that twinkled with a chilly gleam and made people afraid at the sight of it.

He carried the spiked rake and walked towards the pig humans that were fiercely engaged in the battle. He chuckled and said while he walked, “Looking at all of you fighting with such enthusiasm, I felt my hand itching. Let me join in the fun, alright?”

Looking at the huge spiked rake that sent out chilly gleams, the leader of the black pig humans shouted, “It’s against the rules to use sharp weapons! We pig humans never use sharp weapons!”

Sui Xiong lowered his head and flipped the spiked rake the other way round. He opened his mouth and his head became two times bigger when he swallowed the sharp nine-toothed-rake into his mouth. After noises of metal crackling, he took it out of his mouth again, and it had become a huge, round-headed wooden club.

Looking at the wooden club that was even thicker than his waist, the village head of white pig humans quivered his fats and swallowed his saliva. He said, “This is too brutal… we do not bet our lives in fights…”

“I can’t do this and I can’t do that. You guys are such naggers. Do you still want to fight?!” Sui Xiong pretended to be angry and took a deep breath. He grew a size bigger and raised up the wooden club that was growing bigger with him. Then he slammed the club on the ground and made a big pit.

The pig humans were panicking even more; the village head of the white pig humans and the leader of the black pig humans exchanged a glance, and their intelligence was suddenly heightened to two hundred points. They self taught and mastered the skill of communicating via eye contact, and quickly came to a mutual agreement.

“We’re not fighting anymore!”

“Yeah! We’re not fighting anymore! All of us love peace and tranquility.”

Under their lead, the two bunch of people that were fighting noisily threw away all kinds of weapons in their hands and walked together shoulder to shoulder and arm in arm. They didn’t care if the other person next to them was the chief culprit that led them to the bruises on their faces, and cracked smiles like monkeys that grabbed cameras from tourists’ hands.

Sui Xiong laughed and cast the big wooden club to the side of the road casually. It then turned into a pile of soil while he stretched and turned around to return in the hotel’s direction.

With every step he took, his body would shrink by an inch. When he arrived at the entrance of the hotel, he became the fat unthreatening uncle that he was when he first entered the village.

“I’m going to sleep,” he said. When he walked into the hotel, he wasn’t in a rush to return to his room, but stopped at the entrance for a while. He turned around and said, “To celebrate peace and the bumper harvest, don’t you think you should organise a dinner for everyone to sing, dance, eat and drink? To have some fun?”

Then, he really went to sleep and the celebration dinner was carried out as expected.

When Sui Xiong was awoken by the noise, he looked out the window and saw black and white pig humans fighting against each other in a group again. The bonfire of the celebration was still burning brightly and brilliantly, and the barbecued meat on the rack was almost burnt. He could also see the soup and drinks that spilled all over the floor. The situation was a mess.

“What is going on?” He creased his eyebrows. “These bastards have guts! They didn’t take what I said into heart!”

Just when he wanted to exit to scold the bunch of bastards, he suddenly changed his mind and he didn’t leave. He beckoned and a white pig human that was flipped on the ground and couldn’t get up, to ask why.

“It’s really not our fault!” The white pig human was already beaten up into a blue-black pig human, but his mouth was still tough. He emphasised that it was the black pig humans’ fault and their villagers were only innocent victims.

According to what he said, the black and white tribes were in a long-standing feud. Although under Sui Xiong’s violent restraint they didn’t fight, the hatred in their hearts built up. During the celebration, one black pig human might have had too much to drink and laughed at the white pig humans, that they were good at working the land but they didn’t know how to fight. If it continued, they would really be like pigs, getting fat and being killed by humans.

How could the white pig humans stand that? They immediately fought back that the black pig humans only had body size but knew nothing about production. They were either only eating roots and grass all year long or extorting money from their tribe under false pretenses. If they were said to be ferocious and good in fighting, they were actually dabblers. During spring famine, they would always be served as cannon fodder in the orcs’ holy war. That is so saddening, no one even helped to collect their dead bodies after they died. They might have to be cut by the humans and grilled to be eaten…

“The hell, who was that! Such sharp mouth!” Sui Xiong was at loss of words too. He asked, “So, that’s why they fought?”

“Yeah, so we fought,” The white pig human said. “Those bastards were originally rude and uncivilized. They only know to fight. They tried to find trouble. Once they seized a chance to, how could they not start a fight!”

Sui Xiong nodded and waved his hands. The white pig human was suddenly sleeping soundly. Then, he cast magic to capture another black pig human into his room to ask why.

The black pig human said something completely different from the white pig human. He said the black pig humans originally had a tradition of fighting after meals as an exercise to digest food. Such fights were only for recreational purposes but not serious. The despicable white pig humans seized the chance to launch a fight before everyone had enough food and strength; they were treacherous and cunning to an extreme. They were good for nothing forever, and they could only deal with the soil all day!

Sui Xiong waved again and knocked the other one out too.

He could tell that both pig humans did not lie. It was just that they took a different standpoint. Regardless of living habits or moral values, the two tribes had vast differences. Even though they ate and drank together, it couldn’t ease the friction between them.

“That’s bad!” He couldn’t help but sigh. “They share the same root, why do they torment each other! They are all pigs, why do the wild pigs want to make it hard for the domestic pigs?”

Looking at the chaos where punches and kicks were sent all over the plaza, he couldn’t help but feel distressed.

Need to figure out a way to let these b*stards settle down and not fight when they seize any opportunity to.

He could of course take action and force these b*stards to stay put and behave. But he couldn’t just live there forever. He would have to leave sooner or later. After he left, these b*stards would try to start a fight again.

Sitting at the balcony, Sui Xiong was deep in thought.

On the plaza, the black and white pig humans were fighting even more vigorously while they showered abuse on the other party.

The white pig humans said things like, “you epidemic pig that had both of your parents die and never taught you anything,””you stupid head that has a d*ck that was so small that no one can see,” and something along those lines. It really made one’s blood boil.

The black pig humans would only scold with that few sentences like, “f*ck you,””f*ck your entire family,” or those sort of solid and simple phrases, with the implication of a heavy blunt sword or heavy skill.

Listening to their argument, Sui Xiong was suddenly enlightened and had an idea.

He waved his hands and a complicated magic array floated in the air; he casted a summoning magic.

A light blue ray twinkled and suddenly, Steele’s figure turned from transparent to solid and appeared in the magic array.

Her face blushed, and she was not even covered in a piece of cloth, but there was some suspicious white turbid fluid that gave out a really terrible smell.

“Your Majesty, why did you summon me now?” She was a little unhappy. “Another ten minutes… no, maybe just another five minutes would be great!”

Sui Xiong didn’t bother to ask her what she was doing and he was not in a mood to think about the profound meanings of “ten minutes” and “five minutes.” He pointed at the chaos below and said, “I remember you knew an “in heat magic” spell, right?”

“You?! You are really…” Steele suddenly brightened up and flew out of the window, flapping her wings. But she quickly turned uninterested and sighed, “Oh, it’s pig humans. Boring! These bastards were big in size, but their stamina is a problem. One after another, not knowing after one whole round, would be sufficient for me to feel awesome…”

Sui Xiong took a deep breath and suppressed his impulsiveness to roar angrily or mock her, but said, “I am not asking you to do them! I’m asking you to cast magic for them to do each other!”

Steele’s eyes brightened up as though she opened a gate to enter a brand new world, and suddenly radiated twinkles of color.

“That’s a good idea! Why hadn’t I thought of that!”

Then, she flew to the middle of the sky and raised her left hand. She drew magical runes while she sang a weird ballad.

Her voice was soft and sweet, like an invisible hand that was extending to one’s heart through their ears, and held tightly onto the listener’s heart. Along with the singing, the magic array that quickly took shape spread a pink fragrance.

The pig humans were already charmed by her singing voice and fell into an indescribable excitement. Then, they breathed in the fragrance that induced estrus strongly. How could they hold back anymore!

That moment, they couldn’t be bothered if the one next to them were black or white. As long as they were a male and female, they quickly got in pairs and started their job in reproduction with full force.

“How long can the magic be effective for?” Until the battle on the plaza was taking a different form, Sui Xiong nodded with satisfaction and flew next to Steele to ask.

Steele calculated and said, “About two, three days.”

“Two or three days?! That’s too long, it would cost lives!”

“Let me shorten it by a little then… or how about this, I’ll diminish the power of magic array and increase the speed of its expense. Then, they will recover half of their consciousness by tomorrow morning. But they will still be in heat and they will only be fully recovered by the day after.” Steele asked, “How about that?”

“Alright, that’s it!”

As the night sky grew darker, the bonfire on the plaza was still raging while the black and white pig humans were still “exercising” happily.

Maybe after this, their relationship could really settle down…”

“Your Majesty.”

“What is it? Do you have anything you want to say? Do you want me to send you back?”

“I’m in no hurry. The big bird is very strong, let him wait, it’s okay. I have time to linger.” Steele smiled and said, “I suddenly realize that you really have a lot of ideas…”