Chapter 908: Ch 907: Wukong & Shiro

At the voice from the central lotus throne, the buddhas and bodhisattvas slowly opened their eyes and, as one, turned toward the very last seat among the assembly.

There sat a golden-haired woman in a leopard-print miniskirt, with a padded jacket draped over her thighs.

Manjushri, who was sitting closest to her, quickly fished out a twig and poked her in the arm. "Great Sage, wake up! The Buddha and everyone else are looking at you!"

"Huh? What? Is the Dharma assembly over yet?" The woman, whose golden hair reached her waist, pushed herself up from the lotus seat, wiped the drool off her chin, and yawned, blinking her sleepy gold eyes. "The Buddha's sermons are just so good, you know? So vivid, so deep, I almost nodded off!"

'Almost?' Every bodhisattva and arhat in the hall thought. 'You were clearly out cold.'

The Buddha at the center lowered his head and chuckled. "You rascal. Sleeping all day at your own temple is one thing, but now you do it in front of me."

Sun Wukong, still rubbing at her watering eyes, curled her lip. "You're the one who said everyone has to show up for every assembly. I'd rather sleep at home where it's comfy."

"You really are something..." The Buddha shook his head helplessly and sighed.

"You're sighing? I should be the one sighing, okay?" Wukong grumbled, then rolled her neck until it cracked and asked, "Weird, though. I could've sworn there were still three days left in the assembly. Are we wrapping up early this year?"

Just then, the Buddha nodded, "If you want it to end early, then let it end."

He waved a huge hand. Wukong saw stars, the world spun, and whoosh, she was standing inside a temple hall.

"This is..." She rubbed her head and stared around in shock. "Isn't this the Mahavira Hall? The one we set out for the worshippers?"

The moment her voice faded, a startled cry rang out. "Who's there?!"

The shout made Wukong jump too. "Who? Who's there?!"

She squinted.

Well, well! It was a white-haired woman in Wa-style clothes, standing on the offering table in front of the golden Buddha statue, hugging the merit box to her chest and staring at Wukong in total shock.

Looking closer, Wukong noticed that the merit box was being held upside down, and a pile of freshly inked books lay scattered across the table.

Taking in the scene, Wukong stammered, "Aren't you Shir..."

Before she could finish, a hand clamped over her mouth.

"Shh! Keep it down!"

Shiroyasha glanced left and right, and only after making sure no one was around did she clap Wukong on the shoulder. "Hey, Monkey! What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing?" Wukong gave her a weird look. "Why are you digging through that crappy box? Stealing money?"

"Of course not! Do I look like that kind of person?" Shiroyasha stomped her feet like someone had stepped on her tail. "I was just helping that baldy check if anyone stuffed any nasty junk in there!"

Wukong rolled her eyes. Yeah, right. Who would dare toss junk into the Buddha's merit box? Did they have a death wish?

Shiroyasha then asked, puzzled, "But why is this thing full of lousy books?"

"Clueless. Those are sutras handwritten by bodhisattvas, arhats, and monks." Wukong rolled her eyes. "Also, the Buddha's merit box doesn't take money. That bastard uses it to collect homework!"

She was practically cursing out loud by now.

Every single visit to this dump, once a year, meant handing in an assignment and getting grilled by that baldy. It was pure torture for a bad student like her.

Damn it, recurring homework is cruel!

What Wukong didn't expect was for Shiroyasha's eyes to light up. She whipped out a sack and swept all the scattered books into it. "Handwritten sutras from bodhisattvas? Aren't these worth a fortune?"

Wukong stared at her, face twisted.

Now she understood why Shiroyasha took her job at Thousand Eyes so seriously. Holy crap, this woman was a born capitalist!

Once she'd bagged all the sutras, Shiroyasha put the sack away and asked, a little puzzled, "By the way, Monkey, how'd you get here? I didn't notice you at all."

"It's..."

Wukong was about to answer when it suddenly hit her.

That baldy. Was he trying to get her to stop Shiroyasha? Was that why he'd let her out of class early?

In that case, how could she turn down such a kind gesture?

Wukong's grin slowly twisted into something cruel.

Shiroyasha flinched. "What's with that face? That smile is horrible!"

"Nothing, not important." Wukong waved a hand. "What I want to know is why you're in the Mahavira Hall. Here to steal stuff?"

Shiroyasha rolled her eyes. "Please. Why would a rich person like me need to steal anything?"

"I literally just saw you steal..."

Before Wukong could finish, her mouth was covered again.

"Low profile, low profile!" Shiroyasha looked around once more. "I just got worried the merit box was too full to hold the treasure I'm giving the Buddha, that's all!"

"You give gifts?" Wukong's eyes went wide. "Last time you visited me, you pulled up a hundred peach trees from my place!"

"It's just a hundred trees! I'll pay you back!" Shiroyasha pulled the sack back out, grabbed a sutra, and shoved it into Wukong's hands. "Don't complain. A hundred peach trees for one bodhisattva's handwritten sutra? You're getting a steal!"

Wukong's face twisted again. "You fuck..."

Shiroyasha glared at her. "Monkey, you're a buddha now. Why are you still so foul-mouthed?"

Wukong's face went dark. She waved the book in her hand. "This damn thing was written by an arhat, not a bodhisattva!"

"..." Shiroyasha was silent for a moment, then said with perfect seriousness, "That's not important!"

She stored the merit box in her Gift Card, then pulled out a green plastic bin with two black wheels on the bottom.

She casually rolled it into the spot where the merit box used to be, then dusted off her hands. "There. Big gift delivered. I'm sure that baldy is gonna love it."

Wukong fell silent.

She stared at the green plastic bin. Why did it look so much like the bins she'd seen on street corners in the East Area when she went down to the lower layers last year?

The only difference seemed to be that this one was cleaner than the ones on the street.

At least there was no trash inside...

Shiroyasha stretched. "Okay, job done! Wanna go grab a drink? Just so you know, the bars on the lower layers don't charge for pets these days."

Wukong: "???"

...

..

Inside Sanzen—

On the enormous lotus throne atop its endless stairs.

The revered bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, Kannon, holding her jade vase, watched the scene reflected in the sky, then couldn't help turning to the one seated at the head. "Buddha, is it really fine to let them get away with this?"

"No harm done." The Buddha smiled. "It's a small matter, nothing to worry about. But it must not happen again. Have you all remembered that?"

The assembled buddhas, bodhisattvas, and arhats watched the Vajra slowly slide out of the Buddha's sleeve, a cute little toy that could clearly crack open a skull, and nodded very, very sincerely before chanting in unison, "Amitabha!"

The Buddha smiled serenely, tucked the Vajra away, and wore the expression of a teacher whose students had finally learned.

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