Chapter 77 - Scars
The Duke does as I asked, and he closes his eyes while I get rid of the dress. He reopens them only when he senses the water moving.
I turned my back to him so that he couldn't see anything, and I sat on the other side of the tub.
I don't want to be looked at, even though the Duke already saw everything. More than once. Still, it's too embarrassing, staying naked.
«Why are you sitting so distant?» he mutters.
I'm trying to use as little space as possible, while he's lying comfortably without paying attention to this folded Duchess. I can sense his legs on the sides, and he also leaned his arms on the border of the tub. He's using so much space.
«I don't want to bother,» I reply while looking for the sponge. Needless to say, it's in the Duke's hand.
«I can rub your back,» he proposes. His expression is kind and naive, but his words sound like a trap.
Still, there's nowhere I can run away. And I want so much to wash my back as well. Before the water turns grey and I start to feel disgusted.
Now that I think about it, this time it will become really black since two people are bathing together! Oh my, what have I done wrong in my life, to earn this torture?
Alexander starts rubbing my back and shoulders with his impeccable technique. He knows where to press and where to stay light, so it ends up feeling more like a massage than a cleaning.
When a sigh leaves my lips, his teeth bite my earlobe, and I bend my head to the side so naturally. Only after, I realise how close he is.
Too bad that I can't run away because of his arm around my waist.
«Will you help me back?» he asks in a whisper.
«What?»
«I'm helping you wash up, will you help me later?»
Oh, if that's what he wants, it's all right. There's no need to stay so close, though.
Instead of letting me go and turning, as one would expect from a man that wants his back rubbed, he starts passing the sponge on my arms. With one hand, he grabs mine and lifts it over the water. With the other, he slides the sponge from the shoulder to the wrist. To reach the end of the arm, he has to bow over. So, his chest touches my back as soon as he has passed my elbow.
I startle at the sudden contact, but he's too close to moving away. Also, he's holding my hand so I can't get too far from him.
He cleans one arm and passes to the other. His patience is actually admirable. I thought he would just take advantage of the atmosphere to make me do something naughty, but he's just washing me.
When he starts moving the sponge towards my chest, I stop his hand in a hurry.
«I can do alone on the front!» I exclaim.
«Aren't you tired from the journey?» he inquires.
I can feel his real intentions from here! If I say yes, he'll just continue washing me like this. If I say no, he won't let me sleep for the whole night!
«I am tired,» I nod, and he smiles victoriously. «As you are, my Duke. You've travelled as long as I did. I'm not that cruel to let you work this much around me.»
I smile gently, hiding the evil grin that is pulsing on my lips. I seize the sponge and continue to wash as nothing happened.
«I am so tired!» he exclaims after a while when he figures that it's the best solution for him. «Can my Duchess help me?»
«I can,» I nod.
After all, he just wants me to rub his back, right?
«That's good!» he sentences and lies back on the tub.
How am I going to rub his back like that?
«I'm waiting for you to finish,» he shrugs.
Ah, that's it. My Duke is just waiting and watching the show.
When his nerves fail him, he grabs me and pulls my body in his arms.
«What now?»
«I'll wash your hair,» he states, and he sinks his fingers in between my locks.
I drop my jaw, while his attentive eyes follow my expression, and his hands rub my hair.
First of all, how does a Duke know how to wash a lady's hair? Wait. Has he done this with someone else already?
Second, wasn't he tired?
I'm now turned towards him, so I can see his focused expression. He truly is doing his best.
I shouldn't be this moved, since he's just carrying on a long-term plan. However, he's really good at this. I relax my shoulders without even noticing, and I pass the following minutes admiring him in silence. He's massaging my head with so much devotion that I even sigh a couple of times.
«Now your turn,» he whispers when he's done. «No more excuses.»
I accept the sponge and wait for him to turn.
Still, he looks at me with his wily smirk.
«I thought you were starting to understand me more,» he mutters. I'm not sure if he wants an answer, but I don't have time to form one.
He drags me even closer and surrounds my waist with his invincible arms.
«Now, do!»
I blink, while my face's temperature rises at an unbelievable level.
We're so close that our torsos almost touch. Our legs, however, are definitely in contact. I'm sitting on my Duke's lap in a straddling position, and I can feel something pressing against my thigh.
«Do what?» I whisper, distracted by his proximity.
«Wash me.»
«Oh, that...»
«What did you think I was asking?»
I swallow, starting to pass the sponge on his built shoulder. I can see the muscles twitching under my touch, and I can feel his tonic physique.
«I'm not really thinking,» I confess.
«That's not bad, is it?» he replies, evidently satisfied.
«I don't know,» I shrug. «I prefer it when I think. Don't you?»
The grin on his face disappears, while he realises that he can't try manipulating me without receiving any resistance. He asked me a question without any right answer, so it's only fair if I do the same.
«I like both versions of you,» he says in the end.
This foxy Duke...
«But which one is better?» I press him.
«Mhm... Let me try this one, and I'll decide if you're better when you don't think,» he whispers. However, no matter how bold his words, he doesn't do anything.
I bite my lower lip in frustration, and his eyes follow my teeth with greed.
I'm here, in his arms. Why hasn't he already forced his way, though? I can't pose much of a resistance, so I'm surprised that he's actually enjoying this game.
I continue to wash him, observing his chest with curiosity. I haven't looked at him yet, even though we've been married for a while.
There is a scar on his chest, way more impressive than the one on the forehead.
«Did you get this in war?» I inquire.
«An arrow,» he mutters. «Not in war.»
No, of course. Alexander is a commander, he didn't get his hands dirty with killing. At least, it means he didn't kill any one of my citizens personally.
Actually, when he appeared, the war became less crude. It became a sequence of moves and countermoves, rather than a set of battles. If anything, I have to thank him for his unconventional strategies, because the war ended before people started dying this summer. In fact, I didn't lose a single soldier during the last year of siege. There were just a few casualties due to some equipment malfunction.
«Did it hurt?» I whisper, not even conscious of my voice.
«A lot. I thought I was going to die...»
I press a finger on the scar, following the shape.
«But then, I recovered,» he continues.
«I'm glad you did,» I breathe. «I'm glad you survived and recovered.»
«Thea, you can't say something like that and then run away!» he complains.
«But I'm not running away,» I point out. Also, I can't. Alexander's clench tightened, but I don't think he noticed. It's probably just a reflex.
«You're playing with me,» he sighs, and I can't help but land my lips on his cheek. Then, I move them on his mouth and caress his lower lip with my tongue.
He embraces me even tighter, and one of his hands slips down on my lower back. Instead of complaining or struggling, I lean my body on him, making contact between our chests. I surround his neck with my arms and kiss him with all the passion and technique I've learnt at his side.
«Not tired anymore?» he teases me, interrupting the kiss for a moment.
«I still am,» I mutter. However, I can't step back from my Duke.
My body won't let me, and my soul would feel hurt if I stop this.
We both have our scars, some on our skin and others in our hearts. We can't heal from them, and we shouldn't pretend they don't exist. After all, the only hope is just to accept and learn from the past.
It can't be changed, no matter what. However, the future is waiting for us. We can't doom it because of a few sour ghosts.