Chapter 65: Naturality of Life

The coffin descended slowly. Markus stood at the edge of the grave..he didn’t move neither did Ash or Victor.

The morning was cold.

Wind moved through the trees surrounding the cemetery, disturbing the leaves above them.

Markus watched the coffin disappear inch by inch. His mother’s coffin.

’The person who always walked into the training hall with a smile.

The person who always brought cake.

The person who always called me her son even when i was old enough to take care of myself.

Now she is being lowered into the ground.’ he realized.

Markus’s hands were clenched tightly his knuckles were turning white.

Ash stood beside him, his head was lowered.

Victor stood on the other side, completely still and devoid of emotion.

The coffin reached the bottom and the ropes loosened.

Markus swallowed hard.

Victor stepped forward. For the first time since they had arrived, he moved.

He reached into his coat and pulled out a single flower.

He looked at the flower then at the coffin tha kept his dead wife.

He dropped it and the flower landed softly on the wood.

Victor stepped back.

He did nothing else, no speech, no prayer, not even tears.

Just silence.

Markus stared at him and he couldn’t understand it. That was his wife. The person Victor had spent years beside and Victor had nothing to say.

Markus looked back at the coffin. His throat tightened, "I’m sorry, Mother." His voice was barely audible.

He took a step closer, "I should’ve protected you."

Ash looked at him.

Markus continued, "I should’ve seen it." His eyes burned, "I should’ve stopped it."

He looked down at the brown coffin, "I was supposed to protect you."

His voice cracked, "But I...i didn’t."

Ash slowly raised his head as Markus wiped his eyes, "You came there because of me." Markus said.

He swallowed, "You just wanted to see me....And I couldn’t even keep you safe."

Ash looked at Markus, "You didn’t do anything wrong."

Markus turned toward him.

Ash took a breath, "I’ve been thinking about it since it happened." His voice shook, "I keep replaying it."

He looked toward the grave, "I keep seeing the diamond."

Markus said nothing he just listened, "I keep seeing it hit your arm."

Ash’s hands trembled, "Then I see it change direction."

He closed his eyes, "And then..."

He couldn’t finish his sentence.

Markus looked at him with an unreadable expression.

Ash lowered his head, "I should’ve controlled it."

Markus shook his head, "You didn’t know she was there."

"I should have." Ashell snapped back.

"You were fighting." Markus defended.

"I should have known."

Markus stepped toward him, "Ash."

Ash looked up in response to the call.

"It wasn’t your fault."

Ash shook his head, "Yes, it was."

"No."

"I threw it."Ash protested.

"And I blocked it."

Ash stared at him as Markus continued, "If I hadn’t blocked it, it wouldn’t have ricocheted."

Ash’s eyes widened.

Markus looked toward his mother, "If I had moved differently..."

He paused.

"If either of us had moved differently, maybe she’d still be alive."

Ash stared at him, "So it was both of us."

Markus shook his head, "No."

"Then whose fault was it?"

Markus didn’t answer immediately. The wind moved through the trees.

Finally, Markus said, "It was an accident."

Ash looked at him. Markus continued, "That is all it was."

Ash’s eyes lowered, "But she died."

"I know." Markus replied.

"Because of us." Ash continued.

Markus looked at him, "Because of training."

Ash shook his head, "No."

He pointed toward himself, "Because of me."

Markus stepped closer, "You’re going to spend the rest of your life blaming yourself if you keep thinking like that."

Ash said nothing.

Markus stared into his eyes, "You think my mother would want that?"

Ash froze as Markus’s voice became softer, "She wouldn’t."

Ash looked down.

"She’d probably yell at you." Markus continued.

A faint smile appeared on Ash’s face, "She would."

Markus almost smiled, "She’d probably tell you to stop acting stupid."

Ash laughed quietly, "Probably."

Markus looked toward the grave, "She wouldn’t want you carrying this."

Ash nodded, "I’ll try."

Markus looked at him, "Don’t try."

Ash raised his eyes.

"Stop." The word broke free.

Ash stared at Markus.

Marcus’s voice was calm, "Stop blaming yourself."

Ash nodded slowly, "Okay."

For a moment, neither spoke. Then Markus heard footsteps behind him.

It was Victor.

Markus turned. Victor stood several meters away.

His face remained unreadable, "We should go."

Markus stared, "What?"

"I left the others waiting." Victor continued.

Markus looked toward the grave, "Already?"

Victor nodded, "We have things to do."

Markus stared at him. His expression changed, "You’re serious?"

"Yes." Victor coldly replied.

Markus looked at the coffin. His mother was still down there, "She’s not even buried yet."

"She is." Victor said.

Markus looked at the grave. The workers stood nearby, waiting.

Victor turned, "Come."

Markus didn’t move.

Victor looked back, "Markus!"

Markus’s voice was quiet, "You don’t care."

Victor stopped, "What?"

"You don’t care." Markus repeated.

Victor’s expression hardened, "Be careful of your next words ."

Markus laughed bitterly, "Careful?"

Victor said nothing.

Markus stepped toward him, "She was your wife."

"I know." Victor replied.

"She was my mother."

"I know." Victor continued.

"You haven’t cried." Markus said.

Victor stared at him.

"You haven’t said anything....you just dropped a flower."

Victor looked toward the grave, "What would you like me to say?"

Markus’s eyes narrowed, "Anything."

Victor shook his head, "There is nothing to say."

Markus stared at him, "How can you say that?"

Victor’s voice remained calm, "Because she is dead."

Markus’s jaw tightened, "You keep saying that."

"Because it is true." Victor said.

"Stop."

Victor looked at him.

Markus stepped closer, "Stop talking like she’s nothing."

"I never said she was nothing." Victor snapped.

"You act like it."

Victor’s expression remained cold, "You’re emotional."

"Of course I’m emotional!" Markus’s voice echoed through the cemetery, "She was my mother!"

Victor didn’t react.

"She was your wife!"Markus explained.

Victor stared at him, "You’re angry."

"Yes!" Markus replied.

"You’re grieving." Victor continued.

"Yes!"

"Then grieve." Victor said.

Markus froze.

Victor continued, "But don’t blame me for accepting reality."

Markus stared at him, "Accepting reality?"

Victor nodded, "She died."

Markus shook his head, "You didn’t even try."

"There was nothing I could do." Victor proclaimed.

"You could’ve taken her to a hospital." Markus retaliated.

"She was already dead."

Markus’s breathing became heavier, "No."

Victor’s voice remained calm, "She had no pulse."

"No."

"There was no saving her." Victor continued.

"No!"

Markus stepped closer, "You didn’t even want to try."

Victor’s eyes narrowed, "Trying would not have changed the outcome."

"How do you know?" Markus asked.

"Because I checked." Victor answered.

Markus stared.

His father’s words were calm almost clinical to him. That made them worse.

"You checked her pulse."

"Yes." Victor replied.

"And then you just..." Markus struggled to finish, "You just accepted it."

Victor looked at him, "What else should I have done?"

Markus’s eyes filled with tears, "Cried."

Victor said nothing.

"Broken down." Markus continued, "Anything!"

Victor remained still.

Markus laughed bitterly, "You’re unbelievable."

Victor’s voice lowered, "Markus."

"What?" Markus asked.

"Enough."

Markus shook his head, "No."

Victor’s eyes hardened, "I said enough."

Markus stared at him, "You keep acting like none of this matters."

Victor said nothing.

Markus stepped forward, "First you tell me she was gone."

He pointed toward the grave, "Then you tell me it was a part of life."

Victor’s expression didn’t change.

"You said it was her time."

"Yes." Victor coldly replied.

Markus’s voice became quieter, "Why?"

Victor looked at him.

"Why did you say that?" Markus questioned.

"Because it was true." Victor answered.

Markus stared, "You really believe that?"

"Yes."

"Then what about me?" Markus asked.

Victor said nothing.

"What about Ash?"

Silence.

"Blade?...

Everyone in that training hall?"

Victor remained still.

Markus’s voice became darker, "You call it part of ones life because it’s easier than admitting that something went wrong."

Victor looked at him, "Something did go wrong."

"Then say it."

"I have." Victor said.

"No." Markus shook his head, "You haven’t."

Victor’s eyes narrowed, "It was an accident."

Markus stared at him, "That’s what you should’ve said."

Silence.

"Not it being a part of life."

Victor looked away.

Markus continued, "She didn’t deserve to die."

"No"

"She didn’t choose that." Markus said.

"No."

"She wasn’t weak."Markus mumbled.

Victor looked at him.

Markus’s voice cracked, "She wasn’t some animal that lost a fight."

Victor remained silent.

Markus wiped his eyes, "She was a person."

"Yes."

"She was your wife."

Victor’s face tightened slightly, "She was."

Markus noticed. For the first time, there was something in Victor’s expression.

Something buried, something almost human.

Markus stared, "You do care."

Victor looked at him.

Markus’s voice softened, "You do."

Victor said nothing.

"You just don’t know how to show it." Markus continued.

Victor looked toward the grave.

His jaw tightened, "She was strong."

Markus waited.

Victor continued, "She always was."

Markus’s eyes filled again, "Then why didn’t you say that before?"

Victor didn’t answer.

Markus stepped closer, "You should’ve said that."

Victor’s eyes remained on the grave, "I should have."

Markus froze. It was the first admission he’d heard from his father.

A tiny crack but it was there.

Victor turned toward him, "We should leave."

Markus looked at him, "Not yet."

Victor frowned.

Markus looked toward the grave, "I need another minute."

Victor nodded as he stepped away.

Markus remained.

Ash stood beside him neither of them spoke.

The workers began filling the grave. The sound of earth hitting the coffin echoed through the cemetery.

Markus closed his eyes, "Goodbye, Mother."

Ash lowered his head.

Markus took one final breath then he turned away. He walked toward Victor.

Victor waited.

Markus stopped beside him.

They looked at each other neither spoke then Victor began walking.

Markus followed behind as Ash followed Markus.

Behind them, the grave slowly disappeared beneath the earth and with every step Markus took away from it, the words remained inside his head.

"It’s a part of life

Natural Selection"

He hated those words. He hated how calmly his father had said them. He hated that part of him understood what Victor meant.

But more than anything, he hated that the world had allowed his mother to die over something so small.

One movement, one diamond, one mistake and that was enough.

Markus looked toward his father.

For the first time in his life, he wasn’t sure whether Victor was someone he could follow.

Or someone he needed to fear.

The three of them disappeared down the path.

Behind them, the earth covered the last trace of the woman who had brought warmth into a place that had forgotten what warmth felt like and Markus knew one thing.

Whatever happened next...He would never hear the words natural selection the same way again.