Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

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Looking at this section, I didn’t find anything that I’d find useful but Quinn was dead set on taking home the leather ship she picked up—and I’m gonna be a little honest here—I was both scared and aroused from hearing the whip break the sound barrier multiple times as Quinn was practice-swinging it.

She was making the whole thing look so easy but I did need a few tries to perfect it and remember the sensation when she made me take a crack at it.

“Oh? You learn quick, huh?”

“Kaley does too, but our heads are still wired differently.”

“Pfft… That’s pretty obvious, but what do you think? Do you want me to give you an intro to chains and whips in the bedroom? I’ll be gentle… at first…”

I chuckled and shook my head as I moved a step away, “We could but if we start ball-busting, I’m fucking out.”

“What?! That’s the best part! For me, at least…”

“I still wanna have kids and getting my balls crushed in a vice or under your feet doesn’t sound like a good time… Some people are into it but I’m not.”

“Hmm~ I get it, sure. But what while we’re on the subject, how about me?”

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

Quinn looked away for a moment before turning back to me with a slight blush, “I’m pretty sure you’re gonna make lots with Kaley but what about me? You know, Sal did say we had to repopulate one way or a-another and umm… that d-doesn’t necessarily mean it should come from a random guy… You get what I’m saying? I don’t wanna cut in line or a-anything but I came first before Edith at least, right?”

“You mean—”

She rolled her eyes before she glared at me cutely, “Yeah! That’s what I mean! I don’t know what Kaley’s gonna say but I wanna have a kid or two, y’know?! And I’m older than all of you, what if I lose the ability to—”

“You can have your eggs frozen—”

“Dipshit, why don’t you just whip out your cock and we do it the normal way?! That’s way~ fucking easier! And way~ more fun too! C’mon! W-What do you think?! Y-You like me t-too, right?!”

‘She looks so fucking cute…’

I tried to maintain a stoic expression as I scratched the side of my cheek, “That’s…”

“Fine! Forget I said anything—”

“Quinn. I’m not entirely against it and I’m very, very, very much flattered by considering me but we should have an open discussion for this—”

“Blah~ Blah~ Blah~ Hearing you say that you’re not against it is already good for me! As soon as all the shit I’m supposed to at the moment is done, trust me, you’d look worse than Mauro every time Elsa had her way with him…”

I jokingly rolled my eyes, “That’s some big words there… Sure~ Tell me those words again every time you looked so panicked when I still haven’t had enough—”

Then Quinn suddenly leaned in with a threatening aura, “Bitch, I barely do any cardio! What do you think’s gonna happen when I started doing that plus us having sex every single night we could?!”

“Won’t your tits sag and you’d look like a dried—”

“YOU SON OF A BITCH— I WAS JUST— ARGH!”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! EASY! EASY! I WAS JUST JOKING—”

“JOKING MY ASS! One of these days I’ll fucking bend you down and make you call me mommy while I’m fucking your little ass!”

“Again~ Those are some big words coming from— And how could you get pregnant from that? I’m not a fucking seahorse! You see, contrary to the norm, male seahorses are—”

“YOU! I KNOW HOW SEASHORSES WORK! YOU DO KNOW THAT YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD TALK THIS WAY TO ME, RIGHT?! DON’T TALK TO ME LIKE I’M AN IDIOT!”

“I’m not, I’m not~ And I’ll take advantage of it as much as I can~ Wanna check the other storage units?”

“ARGH! F-Fine…”

With that said, we perused everything could while the others continued to haggle about something that was already free—but we did find a few items worthy of making a proper purchase—and we brought all of them to Jonathan who was somehow giving the two more free shit besides the luxury supercar.

“Hold on, hold— I said HOLD ON! I’m already giving this car basically for free and you also want that differential, that set of tires, that subwoofer, and that old radio?! C’mon guys! Don’t bleed me dry—” then he stopped his spiel as he turned to us, “Oh? You picked that stuff? You can have them for free—”

Logan instantly erupted, “WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?! WE’VE BEEN AT IT FOR 30 MINUTES AND THEY JUST DROPPED IN AND YOU GIVE THEM SHIT FOR FREE?! WHAT GIVES?!”

Jonathan looked at Logan like an idiot, “First of all, you almost killed me but he saved me. Secondly, I owed him big, big~ time even before you came here, and third: I don’t wanna bring this up but did you forget the time when you joined the Cock-Arena of Time?!”

I had to do a double-take, “The wut?”

Jesus was losing his shit as he gave me an answer, “That’s what he calls the game we saw last time… You know, with Kuzma? Cockfighting and shit? He calls it that… The Legend of Kuzma: Cock-Arena of Time… Current champion gets the naming rights… Probably still Kuzma at this point…”

Logan waved us off, “Hold on, hold on, I won that shit before! What’s fucking—”

“YOU CHEATED, YOU CHEATER! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BLOW EACH OTHER— I MEAN, EXCHANGE BLOWS IN THE BEGINNING! YOU STRAIGHT-UP BLEW THE GUY— I MEAN, STRUCK FIRST WITHOUT GETTING BLOWN— I MEAN, GET HIT! DO YOU REMEMBER?!”

‘I swear he’s fucking doing it on purpose…’

Logan was about to commit bloody murder again from the slander, “YOU’RE DOING THAT SHIT ON PURPOSE! FUCK IT, HOW MUCH IS ALL OF THOSE SHIT ANYWAY?! I’LL PAY WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS AND MOVE ON!”

“Three-fiddy?”

“THREE-FIDDY WHAT?! CASH DON’T WORK ANYMORE, THAT SHIT COULD BE ANYTHING!”

Quinn interjected, “It’s always gas. Is that it? D’you want 350 gallons of fuel?”

Jonathan nodded vehemently, “YES! But everything should come out from HIS pocket! That’s the deal! Three-fiddy gallons of fuel or—”

“Or we just let Dave drop in for a bit—”

“Hah! You think I’m scared of him?! W-Well, I do, but… I’ll die on this fucking hill— storage unit, whatever if I’m gonna let that guy get the best of me! Deal or no deal!”

I drooped my head low before I looked at them exasperatedly, “This… This is what you’ve been going back and forth on for thirty minutes?”

Allie answered from the table behind, swinging her feet, “Yep! It’s still funny tho!”

Logan just about had it, “Fine! I don’t have that much on my truck but I’ll give you 500 total but you have to pick it up or wait for Jesus to visit again—”

Jonathan never smiled so wide, “I’ll be in the next game night of Mr. Cuervo,” then he turned to me, “Right?”

I nodded, “Consider yourself a VIP.”

“Fuck it!” Logan rolled his eyes as he spat on his palm, “Shake on it!”

Jonathan did the same thing and sealed the deal with a tight handshake while wearing an evil smirk, “My hands were in my ass earlier—”

“EW! WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

“LET GO, YOU FUCKING PERVERT! STOP SMOOSHING IT IN! I’LL FUCKING KILL YA!”

“THANKS FOR THE PURCHASE~!”

“I SAID LET GO!”

Eventually, Allie gave Logan the key to the R8 while the rest of us knew Logan got swindled to fuck. It was basically the “Pretty Woman” effect or something similar when a person would get denied a sale of something they could easily afford before the same person would come back with a grudge and buy more items than what they usually came for, making them feel good about themselves but ultimately benefitting the store.

But yeah, Logan’s calvary didn’t end there when we realized he had to drive in a very tight spot that required precise handling, and the only way to have a perfect run was to move all of the obstacles away which would pretty much take a lot of time.

We already made our way back when the two were finalizing some shit and we just heard a loud yell of despair when he realized the traps Jonathan laid out for him. In any case, he simply called the rest of his crew to move the obstacles away but he had to toss all his anger on this particular trash can because as annoying and repulsive as I found Jonathan in those instances, especially in his office upstairs, he definitely got Logan good and then some.

After a short bit, we eventually ended our short stay and bid our goodbyes though Logan went ahead and burned some rubber to let off steam a bit more.