Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Those two items were probably symbolic for this Jonathan fellow because an empty pill case and a rock with googly eyes looked like miscellaneous items to me. But as my initial shock subsided after lightly patting on his back when he hugged us, he gave me another shock by excitedly running over to the chick he was just pleasuring a few moments ago—with pet rock in hand—and said:

“Here you go, Allie! Nothing but the best for my daughter!”

“Thanks, Daddy~! I’ll let you do ‘that’ thing you so wanted since you found me my lost pet! I love you~!”

“Heh! Anything for you, my dear!”

Hearing that, it took everything for me to not let out a certain reaction but the other side of me—the fun side—was already looking for a banjo and playing that certain theme song.

And to be perfectly honest, I felt a little conflicted about my thoughts because I had a certain interaction with the twins—Ruru and Riri, so I just put my judgment aside and carried on like Jesus who looked like he was way~ over it.

However, Jonathan’s daughter was already looking at me ‘that’ way but I was already planning my revenge for Jesus who was the one who sneaked in those two items in the duffel bag. But yeah, it seemed like the guy didn’t mind sharing his daughter with me but at this point, I’d push aside that plate for the next time.

Yet there’s still one mystery left unsolved: the empty prescription for people who were having a hard time getting and maintaining an erection.

On that note, Jonathan went back to his seat with the pill case still in his hands, but all he did with it was to stash it in one of his drawers before he discovered I was waiting for what he would do with it.

“You curious with that, kid? Wanna know why it’s empty?”

I shrugged my shoulders as I replied, “Sure, if you don’t mind—”

“It’s because I don’t need it full! Or partially, get it?! HAHAHAHA~!!!”

“Oh~ Pfft…”

We all shared a laugh for a brief moment before it slowly became quiet. The rest of the items I’d given to him were still on the table but this Allie chick was still engrossed with the pet rock she was gifted and she didn’t have a care in the world that she was butt naked in front of two other people.

Jesus tried to get on with the conversation, “Jonathan… You know why we’re here.”

Jonathan nodded a few times, “I do, yes. I do. But these gifts…”

“They aren’t enough? Are you kidding—”

“N-No, no. Don’t get me wrong, the ones in front of me are already a bonus because I only wanted my daughter’s pet rock but… you see—”

“Then tell me! Don’t beat around the bush, Jon. I dragged my group to the other side of this region to find that very specific rock and those very specific googly eyes for our deal and you look like you’re gonna add more in the mix! Does that seem fair to you?”

Allie nodded from the side, “That really doesn’t seem like it’s fair, Daddy… You should give them the car back…”

Jonathan wore a difficult smile as he turned to his daughter, “Listen, Baby… Let Daddy talk with the grown-ups for a bit, alright?”

“B-But I’m a grown-up! Aren’t we already doing grown-up s-stuff—”

I slightly grimaced as I turned to Jesus, “Car? What car?”

Jesus was confused about my question, “Quinn didn’t tell you— No, she probably wasn’t aware.”

“Aware about what?”

“Dave’s car. Brix swore that he saw it parked on the other side of this place when we dropped by for a quick chat but we weren’t even aware it was possessed by one of your guys. You know where I’m getting at, right?”

Hearing that, it took me a few moments to dig a little deeper inside my head and once I put two and two together, I was suddenly invested because finding Dave’s car is almost equals to finding one of Tatiana’s missing comrades, Kuzma.

One of the reasons we decided to prolong our stay in this region was to look for Kuzma, who was around these parts, and Alexander, who was already spotted by Nikolas and needed some talking to by Artem.

These Russian soldiers were very far away from home and keeping them together was the best thing I could do for them not only for their battle prowess but also for how close I’d gotten to them.

I’ve formed different groups here and there but theirs was the most effective and the ones who could actually keep up with me and my antics, so it’s best to be with a group that we could mesh well together or put my trust in even if I send them on dangerous missions alone and/or with another local person to guide them.

In any case, I wish Jesus could’ve told me sooner because if this was at stake, I would’ve tried more to get Jonathan’s favor. But yeah, I was definitely making a profile in my head—from what I’ve seen—to do just that, but for now, it was better to listen to him speak.

“Jesus… listen… I know that you finding my daughter’s beloved treasure is the best thing that has ever happened to me— I mean, us two but… You gotta understand… You think your name doesn’t pull weight around here but it does, it really does! I promise you! So, I’m pretty sure that if you talk to my buddy—”

Jesus cut him off, “Mr. Cuervo’s not your buddy, Jon. And I’m not your messenger. If you want to fix things with him, you should go there yourself and apologize. Maybe even drop him a gift or two like we did.”

“T-That’s the thing! It’s all c-connected, y’know! Look at this place! It’s almost the same exact thing over there and even though the fighters I sent last time didn’t do as good with that fucking Russian who came out of nowhere—”

“Where are you going with this, man? I—”

“I’m getting to it! Listen, alright? You see, I forgot what’s his name or whatever—sounded like my daughter’s name—”

I cut in, “You mean Ilya?”

Jonathan clasped his hands together before pointing at me, “Yeah! That’s the one! He strolled in a few months ago and—I haven’t even heard of you since then but that guy trashed everyone! I mean, everyone! I’m not clear about the particular details but I guess even our national team does imports from time to time but c’mon! I heard more popped out so I guess they were the jam but I was already banned from coming to Cuervo Heights because of one tiny mistake!”

“W-Wait a second, what did you do anyway?”

He looked a little conflicted before speaking, “Well~ I kinda told Cuervo that we should host an all-Filipino event next time because these foreigners and those pesky half-breeds are ruining everything then he kicked me and everyone out!”

“S-Seriously?”

“I swear to fucking God or whatever! How could I know he’s half-Mexican or something?! Don’t we just look the same?!”𝗈𝗏𝐥xt.𝓬𝞸𝕞

I tried my best not to smack his head with the nearest chair, “I’m half-Japanese, by the way…”

Then his eyes lit up, “See?! How can we tell the fucking difference?! You look handsome, I kinda look handsome-er— Is that even the word? All I wanted to happen is just—” then the dumbass had a revelation, “Ohhhhhhhh~ That’s what I did wrong…”

Jesus could only roll his eyes as he scratched the side of his cheek, “Look, I’m mixed too and that’s not the point but what I’m trying to say is that I did my part of the deal and you should honor it—”

“Aren’t I getting to that? Look, I’m giving you the car back, don’t worry—”

“Then you should’ve said so from the beginning!”

“What? Can’t I propose another deal while one was about to finish?”

“You didn’t make it sound like it, you asshole!”

Jonathan rolled his eyes, “You’re confusing me, you know that? Anyway— Oh! That’s right! About the Russians, before I forget…”

Jesus rolled his eyes even harder, “Here we go~”

“Listen, man! Just listen! I did say that’s it all connected, right?! You see, I had an inkling that that car was Dave’s but another guy was driving it but lo and behold, he was bald!”

“What?” Jesus and I said at the same time while looking confused as fuck.

“Bald! You know, like he doesn’t have any hair on his head! Isn’t that funny?!”

“…”

“…”

“Pfft… You’re bald too, Daddy!”

I was so fucking done with this conversation but the dumbass actually turned it around. I actually thought he had something for foreigners, mixed-breeds, and bald people, but in his own way and to our benefit, it all actually made sense.

Hearing it firsthand, I know that the majority of the De Leon Family were bald or clean-shaven people but as he told us multiple times, it was all fucking connected.

“Aren’t you guys getting it?! I thought he was another schmo or some shit that Dave send for an errand but the guy’s actually Russian! I knew that he was because he kinda looked like the same guy that beat my guys but I took him under my wing and he’s my secret fighter that’s about to blow Cuervo’s mind! Just you see!”

I was once again shocked to fuck by hearing this important piece of news but before I almost beat this dumbass to death, cheers had once again erupted as they started chanting that fucking person’s name:

“KUZMA! KUZMA! KUZMA! KUZMA! KUZMA! KUZMA! KUZMA! KUZMA! KUZMA! KUZMA!”