Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

In that moment, as Sal finished her sentence, it felt like more of a probe than a simple question. Everyone here possibly have been to each other’s turf to see what the other family could offer but since I was the furthest one among the people present—and I was a new addition to their “team”, I was a new artifact that needed some identification.

I replied without a change of expression, “Like I said earlier, I have a little bit of everything but what I lack are specialty products. To make it easier for me, why don’t you tell me what you don’t have?”

Sal replied without a bat in her eye, “A spouse?”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“PFFT!”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“I’M DEAD! FUCK THIS SHIT! HAHAHAHA!”

“WHY ARE YOU ALL LAUGHING?!”

“WHAT THE FUCK, SAL?!”

“FUCK YOU, QUINN! I’M OLD BUT I COULD STILL GET IT GOING, YOU KNOW?!”

“THAT’S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!”

It took a while before things calmed down and even if a certain loud-mouthed oaf came to mind, I’m pretty sure that he already had something going on with someone else.

‘Yep, I’m still not checking what they put in their boxes…’

Sal eventually gave me a proper answer, “What I lacked before were people but since *looking at Mauro momentarily* our families merged, that problem’s pretty much solved. Well, I gotta train those grease monkey’s how to use a trowel instead of a wrench but I trust their skills.”

“Really?”

Quinn interjected from the back. “Hey! They still get the job done! That’s what matters!”

Sal chuckled, “Well, for the first few weeks I’ll feed them our produce but they gotta make their own food after that so they more or less should take care of what’s growing in our farms. If not, they’ll be eating scraps until they produce a decent batch.”

Mauro nodded, “That’s fair.”

“Foraging is out of the question too because I already have a group for that. The mountains belong to us and we know every nook and cranny of it. It’ll take a miracle for them to find any good spot or any spot at all to get their bellies full.”

I interjected, “If I were in their shoes, I’d set up something like a hydroponic or a simple irrigation system but nothing could beat a human’s touch. There’s so much a machine could do but on the other hand, there are also a lot of things a machine could accomplish. It’s a matter of whether you want to have a handful of top-shelf produce or a decent amount of produce enough to feed hundreds of people. But yeah, you can always do both and bridge the balance…”

Sal looked at me approvingly, “That’s what we’re actually doing, kid. We place the fledgelings in the same spot and if one or two manage to stand out, they’ll be tasked with things that are a little more complicated. But yeah, even with automatic farms, a few pieces are still high-quality but it’s a dice roll. If you want to have top shit consistently, you gotta do it right.”

Mr. Alvarez interjected, “But we’re not after quality right now, yes?”

Sal instantly rolled her eyes, “If you’re like you who’s about to run out of food, yes.”

“Oi! Don’t start with me again!”

“I’m just saying… We’re surviving in this shitty world that has gotten even shittier but we got to live too, right?”

“…”

Mr. Cuervo let out a smile, “My thoughts exactly.”

“Anyways, to answer your question,” Sal said as she turned to me, “I’ll take any able-bodied person you could spare but I’d like a few things that could make my place a little more liveable.”

“Hmm, I could just give you what I won from the Garcia Family. No offense to you guys but I’m not particularly a huge fan of gambling. It could provide great entertainment but if left unchecked, it could be a detriment.”

Sal shrugged her shoulders with a tinge of disappointment, “That could work, I guess. But what would you like on my end?”

𝒪𝑣𝑳xt.𝐂𝒐𝗆

I thought for a bit before I answered, “I want a… some sort of starter kit to start a bee farm. I’d probably need a nuc or two and— Oh! I have a few books at home for reference but I’d like to acquire a bee hive as well. Possibly the more common ones like a Langstroth.”

Sal was smiling faintly, “What else?”

“Hmm? Well~ Every other additional equipment we’d need but I’d like to borrow an Apiary to show my people the ropes for a month or two.”

“You’re that interested in honey, huh?”

“I’m not THAT interested as you think but the multitude of applications honey is capable of is nothing to sneeze at. But yeah, having it as a sweetener or a dip for some houses is already a good alternative for regular old sugar. It’s not like I have a sugar cane farm back home where I could produce them in perpetuity.”

Sal nodded slightly as she looked at Mr. Cuervo, “See that? That’s the way to do it. You think you could buy a bunch of nucs and it’ll do all the work for you?”

Mr. Cuervo was about to respond but Mr. Alvarez got there first.

“Hold up, what the fuck are these nucs you’re talking about?!”

“You won’t get it, don’t bother…”

“Just tell me!”

“They’re Nuclear Colonies! Nucs for short… It means that they’re a group of bees that are already producing honey and the queen is already—”

“Forget I asked…”

“Haa… Told ya… You were about to say something?” Sal said as she turned to Mr. Cuervo.

Mr. Cuervo cleared his throat, “Sal, you must understand. I don’t have the space and the people to maintain them. I let a few of my girls take care of them and they wouldn’t get a single customer afterward because they got stung all over! You didn’t tell me they needed those protective suits!”

“You didn’t ask! I thought you’d have everything ready beforehand!”

“I didn’t!”

“That’s not my fault!”

Mr. Cuervo was shaking his head in disbelief but Sal turned to me and continued.

“Anyway, I guess I could provide you with a couple of those starter kits you mentioned but sending you an Apiary is gonna cost ya. Starting a farm like that sounds easy on paper but there’s more to it than that.”

“Alright, what’s it gonna take?”

“Not much, actually.”

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

“I’ll send you one mine so send me one of yours. I’d like—”

“No.”

“Hmm?”

“You heard me. I’ll take whatever you deem fit for the items I won from the Garcia Family—plus the dealers it would come with, but I don’t put my people in my deals.”

‘Not with these people anyways…’

“Hah! You’re fine accepting people but you’re not willing to let go of them? That’s funny.”

“That’s the way I do business. I can move them around as I please—in the confines of my own land, but they’re not exchanging hands.”

“And why is that?”

“I don’t own them. That’s my simple answer. But if you want the slightly longer one…”

“Do tell, I’m curious.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t have a long answer. I just don’t trade people like they’re objects. Besides, if we quantify a life, they value pretty high up, no?”

“Hmph. Fine, that’s your own rules. Shame, Edith would’ve liked it at your place—”

Edith almost fell from her seat, “AUNT S-SAL! D-DON’T SAY S-STUFF LIKE THAT!!!”

“I’m old, I can’t shelter you for long. You already had fun with the kid, do something about it. Besides, you’re the second best Apiary after me. You’ll do well someplace else without me. You can’t lead my turf, can ya? I’m sorry but you’d have to grow some balls for that but you’d have to grow a dick too.”

“B-BUT—”

“But what?! I told all of ya, I need a spouse. A strong one at that. I want to be held against a wall and fucked like I want to—”

“ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, THAT’S GETTING A LITTLE TMI AGAIN! CUT IT OUT, SAL!”

“Heh, I’m just sayin’… Not to brag but my place is pretty sweet. If that someone plays their cards right, they could get the whole thing when I pass. But don’t misunderstand. I’m not planning on clocking out anytime soon. I have a couple more decades in the tank and I’m gonna use it till the last drop. And yeah, someone keeping me company would make it tolerable.”

‘I guess she’s pretty lonely…’

At that point, everyone got a pretty good glimpse of what’s inside Sal’s mind but a few couldn’t help but relate to what she’s been going through. With that said, I just anchored the conversation back to our deal and since I still have a lot of time before I pay a visit to their place, I asked for more time.

“Fine. I’ll try and find a “bachelor” for you but it’s up to Edith whether she goes back with us or not. Does that sound fair?”

“What? You want me to go with ya? Aren’t I a little too old for that?”

“I’m not— I was just—”

“Sheesh, I made the lad stutter. Goes to show I still got it, no?” Sal chuckled as she turned to everybody.

“…”

It took a bit for Sal to stop teasing me but she dropped the bomb on her closing statement.

“It’s gonna take a few days to make our usual deliveries but everything’s packed and ready to go. However, aside from the food and all, who’s got the pockets to hold 500 pounds of pure, uncut H? It’s gotta go somewhere, right?”