Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

The pair I spoke to, Lizzy and Brandon, felt like they used to be preschool teachers just from the way they spoke to us, but with a dozen or so deadheads in the immediate vicinity and around 50 more in the distance from where they came from, I showed them that we didn’t need any help at all.

To their surprise, I drew my pistol—which made them back off except for their trainees who were methodically clearing the dead—before I whizzed each shot by them and stole the kills they were planning to steal from me.

“What are you do—”

And before she could finish her sentence while I ignored their group’s curses from “almost” getting shot, I holstered my pistol then I pulled on my rifle’s strap—unfastening it from my back—before I cleared them from left to right, reloading once, and then finishing the rest with a few more bullets left in my magazine.

“…”

“…”

The pair was still processing what just happened in front of their eyes—including some of their trainees who barely stained their “weapons” to reach this quota—but I already flicked the safety on and flipped back the dust cover before I started picking up the casings that dropped on the floor.

“Lizzy…”

“Y-Yes?”

“How old are you?”

“H-Huh?”

“Nevermind. We’re probably the same age and I don’t appreciate people talking to me like that.”

“I—”

I waved her off with a smile, “It’s not rude—it’s pleasant(?) if anything—but it just rubs me the wrong way somehow…”

“S-Sorry… I’m a preschool— well… I used to teach kids a-and the way I talk is just a force of habit—”

“I had an inkling to that actually but it’s not the way you talk, it’s the way you handled the situation.”

Brandon cut in, “Pardon?”

lightsΝοvel I turned to Tatiana, “You felt it too, right?”action

Tatiana nodded, “Correct.”

Lizzy was still confused, “I-I don’t understand…”

“Alright, let this be a learning opportunity… The vibe was completely off when you took over our jobs to fill your ‘quota’ or whatever but while the tension’s running high between me and your group, you decided to break it off by sending us on our way.”

“I still don’t understand…”

“Your first mistake is that even if you ‘helped’ my group when you felt like they needed it, they ‘got’ it as well as you said earlier. Even if it wasn’t your intention, that action will unequivocally put us in a position where we owe you some type of favor while barely doing anything to amount to that.”

Brandon cut in once again, “Wait, wait— we didn’t mean to do that at all! We’re just—”

“Filling the quota, right? I’m not sure if you’ll understand this term but kill-stealing is extremely frowned upon in the community I grew up in. You don’t just come in at the last second, killing off the boss—or the dregs, in this case—then sharing the glory with us. Besides, how do you mark up your quota? Ears? Heads? Fingers? We got a few hundred here. Do you just take them all and get Jessica’s favor from it—”

“That’s—”

“And your second mistake— no, your third mistake—”

Lizzy then got pissed, “Hey! I don’t get where these accusations are coming from but we came here with the pure intention to help! I’m sorry that we don’t have the masculinity as fragile as yours but if you didn’t want our help, you could’ve just said so!”

I chuckled, “There it is~ Big words coming from you, huh? I thought the woke community were the ones representing all the dead folks by joining their kind on the first day, but to get down to your level, what do you call someone who ‘forces’ themselves on— well, you are a group so what do you call a ‘group’ who forces themselves on another group that didn’t need it? Is that what to do when I get abused? Just tell them no because I could’ve said so?”

“Don’t twist my words like that, you sick fuck! This is making me so uncomfortable!”

“Yeah, #metoo… We were doing so well before you fucks came and it’s all ruined. Look at what’s happening now. I haven’t even told you the last mistake you fucking did because you just made a whole lot more…”

“Then what is it, huh?! Mr. High and Mighty?!”

“Aside from you hiding as a total woke bitch, I could’ve cleared the air with your group because they’re getting dragged along to your whims. I used to send people off—like a few of my troops to this place—when they have an unresolvable conflict with another group of mine but you’re doing just that from a small spat. In the guise of Jessica expecting us even. It’s really weird that we suddenly had to work together but guess who showed up to do just that in the first place?”

“Oh! OH! Is that it?! Is that right?! We’re the ones at fault here, huh?!”

“Pretty much, yeah—”

“OKAY—”

Brandon cut in for the third time, “Woah, woah, woah! Easy now, everyone, alright? We’re all on the same side here, right? W-We can go elsewhere if they don’t want us here—”

“If THEY don’t want us here?! Are you hearing yourself, Brandon?! This is our—”

Brandon suddenly sent a slap across Lizzy’s face, “Listen, Lizzy! I’m not sure if you’ve seen what they could do, but besides that, he’s the one who helped Jessica do all this! He basically owns at least half of the gear we’re using and more!”

I just had to do it:

“Pretty much, yeah—”

Lizzy then glared at me because it obviously worked, “Oh? Is that right? Just because you supplied what we needed you get to be l-like— l-like that?!”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Pretty much, yeah. If you still haven’t found an adjective, I go by asshole or psycho— whichever one you choose—”

“YOU—”

“Look, I don’t know how Jessica’s doing it—by putting pairs into positions of power who mucks it up—but I hope to fucking god you’re just starting out as well. I get you’re short on staff but this is just nuts! Is the pay for being out here that good?!”