Classless Ascension

- TheProphet: "Oh my god, guys! Look at the current petition online! It's all from current tournament participants for Metropolis-C! This is insane!"

Dale touched his simulated UW with trembling fingers. He soon found what they were talking about. Who had even started such a thing?

On the front page of the event's forum, one could read: 

- Petition to take Student, The Devil's Apostle, Zebra & Tiger, and One Slash Samurai out of the competition. 

The whole post was describing the situation in detail. These five contestants were destroying everything. They were akin to bulldozers destroying sandcastles made by kids. It was that bad. 

The outcome was a given whenever they were included in a fight. It was a completely one-sided massacre. There were even small clips to prove this point: 

The 'student' was showing the poise of a Ranker at an unranked level. It was pretty painful to watch the Newbies get crushed instantly. 

The Devil guy kept shouting at his opponents that they wouldn't even be able to clear Floor 1 with their lousy skills. As he kept repeating that, he was slowly cutting them into pieces. 

For Josh and Dale, there was a scene of Dale fighting 1 V 2 then of Josh killing people in his sleep. Somehow, they were the only one in a team on that list. 

Finally, that Samurai guy ended all his fights with one slash. It was extremely impressive considering he was facing two enemies at the same time. He would carefully set it all up before delivering a deadly finishing (and first) blow. 

By participating, they made the whole competition look like a joke and were probably creating lots of PTSD cases. The whole tournament became a matter of luck. Encountering them meant game over, no matter the skill level. 

The solution proposed was simple: to let these five secure the first place without any further fighting. Then, people in the top 4 would be able to challenge them afterward, but they would have to put their own ranking on the line to do so. 

Dale chuckled as he realized how ridiculous this post was. There was no way the powerful contestants would just make way for them. How crazy. But that's when came a BEEP and a message. 

[Please check this link. Do you agree with this special proposal?] 

A screen had just appeared with a voting panel. They were voting for that above suggestion?! Where they serious?! Then a few minutes later, the results came out.

[New rankings updated!] 

Many contestants sighed in relief, and many spectators gasped in astonishment. It had been voted yes at 99% and adopted. This somehow meant that <Your Daughter Calls Me Daddy Too> was currently #1 in its league (regional).

This all felt so unreal. Dale couldn't help but glance at Josh that was still sound asleep. What kind of madness was this?

- CuteMascot: "Oh my god! Guys! Did Zebra just sleep his way to victory?!" 

There was a short moment of silence as people realized how true that was. Then appeared the poet himself. 

- BruhMoment: "Bruh!" 

- GossipLover: "'I'm starting a thread about it, right now!" 

- GGez: "Congratulation to you guys! Tiger for holding the fort and Zebra for clinching victory with that intimidation tactic! OP!!" 

Dale soon saw the new thread they were talking about. It was titled: Just Zebra things. It went like this. People had to complete this sentence: Zebra once ….. while sleeping. Amazing, isn't it! 

Some of the answers were: 

- Won a tournament. 

- Cleared a Floor in the Tower. 

- Escaped a maximum-security prison 

- Cuddled with monsters 

- Made love to a beautiful woman

- Taught Rankers 

Of course, all of these were so exaggerated! It was already a miracle that the first one was true. For all the others, it was obviously pushing it. 

That's when Dale approached Josh, gently shaking him. As his eyes fluttered open, he came back to his senses, stretching calmly. 

"Ah, that felt nice! So, are the preliminaries over? When do we have to come back for the finals?" Josh innocently inquired. 

Dale had almost expected him to know magically. Of course, that expectation didn't make sense. How was he supposed to break the news to him? 

"What's up?" Josh could see Dale's hesitation.

"Well, we kinda won." 

"Yes, that's not too surprising, is it?" Josh raised an eyebrow. 

"Well, we won the whole competition, not just the preliminaries." Dale gave a wry smile. 

"Wait, what?! How long was I asleep?!" For a second, worry appeared on Josh's face as he checked his lifespan. But then he relaxed. 

"Here, look at this." Dale simply showed him the threads about it. Josh's face became more and more peculiar as he kept reading. 

"So, what happens now?" 

"I'm guessing we wait?" 

Turns out Dale was right for a few minutes later appeared: 

[Congratulation to our victors! Tu-du! Are you ready to proceed to the Champions' room?] 

"What's that even supposed to be?" 

"I think it's some sort of after-fight interview lounge?" Dale suggested. 

"If we can get our rewards, then let's go right now! Go on, beam me up!" Josh shouted at the sky. 

[Get ready for teleportation …3 …2…1…] 

The scene in front of Josh changed drastically. The arena was instantly replaced by some very vibrant red, there was red everywhere! 

He found himself on a regal-looking red carpet in what looked to be a luxurious dressing room. There were many mannequins wearing tuxedos. On each was written: <Touch me>.

One tap would instantly change his outfit to mimic it. Josh just picked a classic black one randomly. Still, he looked pretty crazy as he looked like a living barcode. 

Then there were accessories. It went from modest necklaces to heavy-looking gold chains. There was no way Josh would even bother with all of this. He just skipped it all, well, at first. 

He couldn't help but stop when he noticed a scepter. It was a mix of an accessory and a walking cane, really. It was the kind that looked extremely ridiculous and over the top, the kind that kids loved: a golden snake with ruby eyes. 

He slowly approached it. Then went to pick it up. His hands were shaking as he did so. Yes, a man that had the nerve to sleep during a fight was shaking while picking up a flimsy tiny scepter. 

He held it in his hands, a shadow of a smile appearing on his face. One truth about humans is that their brain works by association. It was all about associating feelings, to memories, to objects and places. This specific scepter packed a lot of feels.

He could see it vividly, him coming back from work. The little one stood in front of the old TV, a cheap snake-looking scepter in her hands. 

"What's with the scepter, and where did you even find that?" Josh inquired. 

"It was a gift. I was telling old Shane about our school's red carpet event." She proudly showcased it while grinning. "With this, I'll look like a perfect empress!" 

"Pfft, isn't a red carpet supposed to be for actors and actresses?" Josh remarked. 

"That's where you're wrong, Josh! Think about it! An empress would be the perfect actress. It takes serious acting skills not to act bored in meetings with advisors and foreign powers!" She looked proud of her analysis. 

"I like how you just brought foreign powers into a red carpet discussion right off the bat. What is this, a spy movie?" 

"Regretfully, I wouldn't be a good spy." She shrugged. 

"Why not? You sure know how to improvise."

"Won't it be hard to act low-key with all eyes instantly turning toward me whenever I enter a room? After all, such is the curse of a gorgeous empress." She faked sighing. 

"Oh! I see. What will you be wearing then? I'm sure your sister can find you something. She's surprisingly reliable on these things."

"I know, right! How is it that she can't even cook rice but can create such miracles! It has to be magic!" Her tone showed her amazement. 

"Yep, for sure." 

"But in all seriousness, a simple dress will be perfect. The scepter will showcase my dignity, my demeanor will show my elegance, and the simple clothes my modesty. This will make the commoners love me." She nodded with satisfaction. 

"Spoken like a true empress." Definitely not like a kid, however. Seriously, where did she find these monologues? Probably her sister, actually. She loved to roleplay too. 

"Of course!" She showed a smug expression. 

"What should I wear then?" Josh played along. 

"Oh, you're working that day. Plus, parents aren't invited." 

Parents, eh? This felt bittersweet. She still had a living dad, if that could be called living. What was Josh to her exactly? An older brother-like figure? A parental figure? He didn't even know himself. 

She kept happily chippering. 

"But! The day I truly make it to a real red carpet event, I will request your presence." She had a glimmer in her eyes just picturing it. 

"Oh?"

"Yes, and I will expect nothing but the utmost stylishness from you!" She showed a serious expression. 

"What does that even imply?" 

"First of all, a white suit because that much is expected of a white knight!" She had her arms raised up in excitement. 

"Have I just been promoted to a knight?" Josh playfully asked. 

"Of course, that will depend on your future performance. Then some jewelry. A gold chain necklace with huge gems to show the world that I pay my people well." 

"Are we talking silent protector or hired bodyguard here?" Josh kept playing along.

"Both? Then you will have to wear sneakers. This is for the mobility in case we come under enemy fire." She furrowed her brows, earnestly instructing. 

"Are we still at a red carpet event? Why would there be shooting?" Josh faked a panicked expression. 

"Of course! You never know when kidnappers will jump at us. They are the fodder that appears in any good story." She explained conscientiously. 

"Any?"

"Indeed! But let's skip the irrelevant details. Finally, we'll bring a Siberian tiger with us." She smiled as she added that detail. 

"I'm pretty sure they won't let us in then." He was shaking his head slightly. 

"Nonsense, no one refuses an empress." How long had she waited to use that line?

"So, what's the tiger even for?" Josh curiously asked.

"What else but to skip the small talk. It totally works. That's the same tactic my sister uses when she brings you places."

"Are you saying I'm a tiger?!" He appeared shocked. 

"And that's a compliment!" She confidently nodded while giving him a thumbs up.

"Ah, alright, whatever. I will remember it, miss empress of …."

"Empress of the World!" She said with her tiny arms akimbo on her hips. 

"Empress of the world it is…." He laughingly replied. 

Yes, he had remembered it, somehow. Empress of the world, was it? Turns out there were many such worlds. Josh slowly backtracked in the dressing room.

He found a white suit. He picked the one that seemed the most refined. 

He found a necklace with a huge jewel on it. It was a blood-red ruby, just the perfect color. 

He wore flamboyant red sneakers, perfect for speed and matching with the rest. 

Then, he played with the scepter giving a small smile. Life could be strange at times, truly strange. If anyone had told him back then that he'd find himself crying as he dressed up…

He wiped the rain on his cheeks and slowly headed to what was the obvious exit, composing himself.

After all, he was representing an empress. He had to showcase dignity, elegance, and modesty after all…