Chapter 69 69. The Obligatory Onsen Trip

Goggles asked Rippa for the weekly ‘with Buttons’ stream to be skipped for a couple of weeks. He expected Rippa’s chat would ask about the incident, but he couldn’t trust Buttons not to slip up and say things she shouldn’t.

“I am not very fond of muting her in front of your viewers,” he said. “It would look too controlling.”

“Understandable.” Rippa nodded. “But then chat will ask me to ask you about it, though?”

Goggles thought about it for a moment. “How about you tell them Buttons and I are rather stressed from the event and went on an onsen trip to relax?”

“Aw, but then I would be lying to my chat.”

“True,” Goggles agreed. “Right, then, Buttons and I will really go on an onsen trip. Then you wouldn’t be lying.”

“Oh, are you two going to Japan?”

“Eh? No, Miss Rippa. We are going to the Sakura Island.”

And so, Goggles and Buttons took Rippa’s family to the Sakura Island. It was about three hours away on a yacht departing from the beach jetty. They could have, of course, teleported there, but Buttons insisted that the ride was an integral part of the trip.

On the Japan-themed island, Rippa and her parents changed into yukatas and ate a lot of delicious ramen and sushi. They bathed in hot springs under pink and fragrant sakura petals. Adhering to the anime trope, they played some table tennis, too. Buttons, however, was not allowed to play, as Goggles feared it was too dangerous.

“If she somehow let go of the racket, by the nature of the swing motion, it would fly straight into your face,” the cosmic butler explained to Rippa.

“But you could keep an eye on her and intervene if that happens?”

“Ah, Miss Rippa, but I am here to relax.”

In the evening, after streaming from the setup Goggles had spawned, Rippa would then have some sake with the rest of the adults late into the night, and then would retreat to her room and sleep on futons on tatami mats.

And in the morning, Dad would teleport back home and head to work, and return in the evening.

While Dad was away during the day, Mom would, with arms folded, stand behind Rippa and criticize Rippa’s handling of Buttons. She would say things like, “You are not brushing her teeth thoroughly,” or “Hey, you cut that piece too big. She might choke!”

Perhaps that resonated with the Jedi nanny. Mom and Madam J.D. became good friends. She had brought some detective novels from home, and Madam J.D. became a fan of one particular author, whose works were later added to the palace’s library. In the afternoon, the two would set a tea table beneath a sakura tree and quietly read books for hours, occasionally huddling over Mom’s tablet to read reviews on Goodreads.

During the process of exchanging MangaDex reading lists and nHentai codes, Rippa learned that Miss Pendrake wasn’t very fond of doujins, which, when Rippa thought about it, was quite understandable. The Heroic Spirit seemed to prefer original works. Rippa, however, couldn’t help but wonder why Miss Pendrake was allowed to read pirated manga when Goggles was so adamant about not stealing stuff. ‘Perhaps he’s not as strict as he presents himself to be,’ Rippa thought.

The VTuber had told her chat that Buttons went to an onsen to relax. She, however, omitted the fact that she herself was also chilling at the very same onsen. This made it necessary to keep Buttons quiet during Rippa’s streaming hours. With a helpful anecdotal tip from Dad, Rippa quickly found a good solution. Shortly before dinner, she would chase the little girl around the Zen pond garden for an hour or so. After dinner, she would then dunk the kid in the hot onsen. And by the time Rippa was about to start her stream, Buttons was half-asleep and could barely keep her eyes open. Either Mamapin or Papapin would then take the kid to her room and lay her on a futon, where she would quickly fall asleep.

Thankfully, Rippa’s viewers didn’t press her on the topic. The FBI’s press briefing had already been sufficient to satisfy their curiosity. The fans instead focused on raging about the ridiculously delusional takes written in Crooks’ manifesto. One particular member of her Discord, some retired professor or something, was particularly vocal about his condemnation of Crooks. A few members, however, still wanted some explanations.

“Nah, Buttons is quite stressed about it. Let’s leave her alone,” Rippa told her chat.

‘No. Buttons and Goggles must explain the human shield stuff.’

Rippa took a sharp breath in.

‘He can’t just drag random people into it,’ another viewer argued, to which Rippa couldn’t help but agree.

So, when she was alone with Buttons and Goggles, Rippa brought up the matter.

“That was actually Buttons,” said Goggles.

“Was it really necessary, though?”

Goggles shook his head.

The kid, on the other hand, was looking left and right for an opening to escape.

“Buttons, why did you do it? People are mad about this.”

“I-I was scared,” Buttons blurted out.

Rippa frowned. “Bruh, you can stop a bullet mid-air.”

Goggles butted in. “There is a big difference, Miss Rippa.” He took a step away from Buttons and continued, “Stopping a bullet is one thing, but, ideally, it is better not to have one flying your way in the first place.”

“Exactly,” said Buttons, and then immediately took off. She made full use of the space Goggles had created, darting behind him to shield herself from Rippa’s reaching arms.

“Damn it, you brat!” Rippa withdrew her hands and gave Goggles the stink eye. “Great teamwork, man,” she said with resignation.

Goggles smiled. Not only did he take that as a compliment, but he was also satisfied that Rippa had not asked about who exactly those women and children had been.

Yes, the general public was horrified by Buttons’ human shield. But the government had successfully managed the narrative that people genuinely had no idea what had really happened. Hence, the fact that Buttons had specifically summoned the loved ones of the soldiers on the ground had gone unnoticed. Or rather, the idea was just too unimaginable to begin with. As far as the public was concerned, Buttons, or Goggles as some insisted, had pulled random innocent people. Hence the condemnation.

“There is something fundamental at play,” Goggles commented.

“What is?” asked Rippa, irritated.

Goggles’ eyes were looking into the distance. “Because a child was where it all began. With that one man three thousand years ago. The belief that this is the one thing a man will not hurt.” He looked at Rippa and met her eyes. “In that moment, that was what our little Buttons reached out to. A faith that it would not be penetrable.”

Rippa inhaled sharply. She got it. She understood Buttons. There was a certain beauty in Buttons’ faith in men. Yet it was still frightening.

She chewed her lip and thought some more. She felt bitter.

“Goggles, that makes it worse.”

“True,” Goggles nodded.

Rippa was now pacing left and right. Anger was brewing inside her. “She believed they wouldn’t do it, so she made sure they couldn’t!”

Goggles sighed and nodded in agreement.

“And what’s this nonsense about ‘they won’t hurt women and kids’?” Rippa was now flailing her arms. “She herself got mobbed, remember?”

Goggles opted not to comment on this. He had no intention of letting Rippa know the women and kids in question were, in fact, the men’s own wives and children.

Facing no resistance from the cosmic butler, Rippa stopped pacing. Chest heaving up and down, she thought some more.

Buttons had not only relied on her faith in men’s conscience, but she had forced them to perform at her command. The kid had weaponized morality. Rippa fumed. She felt betrayed.

But then Rippa deflated. As atrocious as it was, she couldn’t bring herself to fully condemn Buttons. The kid still believed there was still something so sacred even though she herself had experienced otherwise. Rippa couldn’t help but note that such a belief itself was rare in modern times. In Rippa’s world, where people justified and excused everything, that kind of naive faith felt almost sacred.

“I don’t know how to feel about this,” she confessed. “There’s something endearing, but also terrifying.”

“Both can be true, Miss Rippa. They do not have to be mutually exclusive.”

Rippa sighed. “Yeah, I guess so… Wait, hang on!” Her eyes narrowed. “She could have turned the guns into sausages. She could have teleported the soldiers away.”

“Ah!” Goggles froze for a second. He started to clear his throat loudly. “Ahem, hmm, hmm. Well, technically, yes—”

“So she didn’t need a shield to begin with!”

Goggles flinched. “Why, yes, with hindsight—”

“She didn’t need a shield!”

“Miss Rippa—”

Rippa’s face was now red. She wagged her finger. “Oh, don’t you Miss Rippa me. You just sugarcoated what Buttons did when she had no need to do it in the first place!”

“Well…”

“She summoned a pregnant woman! And babies!” Rippa pulled her hair but then abruptly stopped. “Where’s the little devil? I’m gonna spank her!”

With Goggles in tow, Rippa stormed out of the room in search of Buttons.

***

Later that day, Rippa told her parents about Buttons’ human shield. With great effort, she explained her mixed feelings about the whole thing. Thankfully, Mom and Dad were understanding.

After much thought in silence, Dad opened his mouth. “It’s remarkable, isn’t it? For three thousand years, we managed to not betray her trust.”

Rippa snapped instantly. “But Dad, there were numerous times we did. The Nazis—”

“Yes, yes.” Dad nodded. “But we saw the evil in it and fought it, didn’t we?”

“Hmm…”

The family sat there without words for some more minutes, each contemplating.

“By the way,” Rippa broke the silence, “she missed it.”

“Missed what?” Mom asked.

“The Second World War. She was on the waterslide for eighty years. She missed the whole Nazi thing and all.”

Dad almost choked. “Wait, what? Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, great!” Dad threw up his hands. “Now I’m the dumbass. That goddamned kid!”

“It’s OK, Dad. She’s aware it happened. So… you are still right, I guess.”

Mom also chimed in, almost teasing. “Besides, you sounded very wise for a moment.”

Dad spun around. “What do you mean, ‘for a moment’?”

After a good laugh, Rippa went out for fresh air.

She found Buttons feeding goldfish in the Zen pond.

Seeing Rippa, the kid sprang up and covered her bottom with her two small hands. “Oh, no, Rippa. What now? What have I done this time?”

Rippa burst out laughing. She opened her arms. “Come here.”

Buttons hesitated at first, but ultimately walked into Rippa’s embrace. Her hands were still clutching her behind, though.

“Yeah, I’m mad,” said Rippa. “And, yeah, I’m sure you feel sorry. Let’s try not doing that again.”

Buttons nodded sheepishly.

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