Chaos Heir

Chapter 1445: Goodbye

The conversation went better than either Khan or Monica could have predicted, but also worse.

Despite the general friendliness, the talk remained superficial, inevitably affected by the awkwardness caused by the many things that had changed since the breakup.

That couldn’t have been more normal. Going from almost getting married to friends would be hard and awkward on anyone, and eccentric people like Khan and Monica were no exception.

Barriers had naturally formed, and only time could lower them as the two created a new version of their relationship.

Yet, both sides also noticed something undeniable that they did their best not to talk about. At some point, Monica had decided to sit on the white sand, while Khan had remained on his feet at her side. They were next to each other, staring at the horizon together, but they couldn’t have felt more distant.

Khan and Monica’s states featured such an immense gap that mere words wouldn’t suffice to describe it. Their very beings existed on different levels, which the way they perceived the world highlighted.

Monica was a human and a fourth-level warrior. Her emotional spectrum had broadened during her years with Khan, but her perception had never delved into deeper fields.

The desert was just a desert for Monica. The warm sand was slightly uncomfortable, the sunlight was hot, and the distant gorge was too immense for her to fathom or conceive. She couldn’t even study it in its entirety, let alone acknowledge that one person had been able to create it.

Meanwhile, the world in Khan’s eyes was multicolored and bright. The symphony shone in all its diversity in his vision, almost breathing, conveying its countless natural inclinations.

Khan also sensed a connection with that energy. He only had to think about it, and the world would move. He only had to will it to become its master and sole ruler, and Monica sadly fell into the same category.

That gap wasn’t new, but Khan’s experiences in the Nak’s home world had deepened and broadened it. He now knew and understood too much to connect with the limited human perception and mindset.

That fundamentally different approach was impossible to describe to someone who didn’t experience life in the same way. Actually, Khan had never considered explaining it, either. After all, he didn’t need to, since Liiza didn’t need that.

Still, as the two exhausted the superficial topics, paving the way for a bittersweet silence, Khan felt the need to talk about the subject, not to justify his choices, but because he wanted Monica to know where he had gotten.

"I was offered the chance to become a god," Khan revealed, "To replace the mana and evolve the Nak. I would have been stronger if I did."

Monica diverted her gaze from the distant horizon, looking up at Khan’s serious face. She couldn’t even conceive what a god was, but knew Khan would have jumped at that opportunity in the past. He would have also felt guilty refusing it, but none of that existed in him now.

"I didn’t want to," Khan continued, not adding any of the reasonable explanations that would have justified his choice. "I took all that for myself, but part of me changed anyway."

Khan briefly reviewed his statement, finding better words to describe himself. "Deepened rather than changed."

Monica opted for silence, waiting for Khan to continue, which he soon did.

"I can hear the fabric of the world," Khan declared, his hand rising, pinching something only he could see. "I can alter life. I can probably try to create it, too, and that still might not be enough to defeat the Scarlet Eyes."

Khan lowered his gaze at that point, pointing a stupid smile at Monica before finishing his point. "So, well, if we end up losing this war, you can blame it on me."

Monica saw right through what Khan had tried to make sound like a joke. She scoffed happily, even managing to smile at what almost everyone would see as irresponsible.

"You never owed anything to anyone," Monica stated. "You took the fate of the universe upon you out of the goodness of your heart, but it was never your responsibility."

Monica turned, resuming looking at the horizon, before continuing. "Well, goodness, and because you thought you were expendable. Because you believed it was better for you to suffer than for everyone else."

Once again, Monica showed how much she had known and still knew Khan. She understood him perfectly, even if parts of her couldn’t conceive him anymore.

"I’m glad your wife slapped that idiocy out of your idiotic brain," Monica announced, "And I know you’ll still save us all. That part of you will never change."

Blue light enveloped Monica, shining all over her, only to move in the distance, following her gaze.

"Just like I know you’ll still lead us all," Monica added. "I now realize humankind was too small for you. Your throne is too big to stand over a single force or species."

"I’ve gotten quite careless and childish," Khan laughed, dismissing that praise. "There’s very little of inspiring left in me, and I’m not sure I care about leading anyone anymore."

"Yes, you do," Monica immediately denied. "You won’t be able to reject anyone. You’ll take everyone under your wing and lead us to a better, grander future."

"It sounds like you think I’ll become the Emperor of the universe or something," Khan joked. "I know many people who wouldn’t like that."

"Do you care?" Monica asked.

"Not at all," Khan admitted.

"Good," Monica responded. She was about to add something, but eventually decided against it, letting the conversation die.

Khan didn’t leave at that reply. Much had changed behind him and in the quadrant as a whole. He sensed it clearly. He probably had to get back minutes ago, but his feet didn’t move.

"I know you have to go," Monica spoke again, aware of Khan’s situation, "So go."

"I don’t have to do anything anymore," Khan pointed out, only for Monica to look up at him again, wearing a reassuring smile.

"I’m okay," Monica declared. "I was happy, and I will be fine. I don’t regret what we had nor feel any resentment. I just need time now that I can finally move on."

Khan met Monica’s eyes, thinking of countless meaningful lines he could use as a proper goodbye. He also meant each one of them, but his lips remained sealed. Monica knew everything already, and Khan couldn’t say anything to fix that. Speaking would only hurt her more, so he just disappeared.

The sudden disappearance didn’t startle Monica. She studied the spot where Khan had once been before refocusing on the horizon, smiling bitterly to herself.

Monica knew she would finally start to get better, but wanted to suffer a bit longer. After all, she knew exactly what she had done and why she had struggled to let go.

Monica had held greatness in her hands, and the effort had scorched her, but also filled her with immense warmth. Now, she wished to linger in that comfortable pain one last time, knowing it would be gone once she stood up.